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HICK PHONICS

Hick Phonics - is a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
Here are some excerpts from the Hick Phonics/English Dictionary.
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Heidi - Noun - A Greeting
Hire Yew - Complete Sentence - Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi! Hire yew?"

Bard - Verb - Past tense of the infinitive "To Borrow"
Usage: "My brother bard my pick up truck."

Munts - Noun - A calendar division. 
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pick up truck and I ain't seen him in munts."
Jawjah - Noun - A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hatlanta.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pick up truck.

Ignernt - Adjective - Not smart. See Arkansas Native. 
Usage: "Them two boys sure are ignernt."

Ranch - Noun - A tool used for tightening bolts. 
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pick up truck my brother from Jawjah bard a few munts ago."

All - Noun - A petroleum based lubricant. 
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjah puts all in my pick up."

Far - Noun - A conflagration. 
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjah don't change the all in my pick up that thang's gonna ketch far."

Bahs - Noun - A supervisor
Usage: "If you don't stop readin' these Southern words your bahs is gonna far you."

Tar - Noun - A rubber wheel. 
Usage: "Gee I hope that brother of mine from Jawjah don't git a flat tar in my pick up."

Tire - Noun - A tall monument. 
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise I hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris someday."
Retard - Verb - To stop working.
Usage: "My Grampaw retard at 65."

Tarred - Adverb - Exhausted.
Usage: "I jest flew in from Hatlanta and boy my arms are tarred."

Copyright © Judy Ball

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