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Unquotable Quotes: Olympic Antics - Xxxiii
Unquotable quotes: Olympic Antics – XXXIII
Why do Judo-kas bother to wear anything at all since all they do is to try their very best to undress one another before hugging themselves on the mat?
Wrestlers at least take up perverse porn positions right from the start.
Besides, Judo-kas always also wait for their opponents to trip themselves up to end up on the latter while they are on their backs.
Gymnasts are still in the invertebrate stage of Evolution.
Archers in the Neanderthal.
A rotating disc is a slipped–disc taking to the air.
A horse well-trained is a horse ingrained with adductor muscles round the neck.
A steeple-chaser without haute visée is a stapled tumbler in the first water.
A long-jumper always leaves his hand-prints in the sands.
The escrime épée bout is the art of electrocuting your own clout.
The rugby sevens is a game meant to be played in the heavens
by saints.
The hundred metre dash is the extreme strain of the first fifty metre pain in the neck.
Why do white skins turn dark at the end of a long-distance race?
The four-hundred metre race occurs when you chase your own tail.
The two-hundred metre race ends where your eyes cut round half the space-time curve.
The boxing match is the art of avoiding being hit by closing eyes behind blindly-flailing gloves.
A hit head is a swirling crown of sweat.
The rapid-fire pistol contest requires first and foremost the staring down of the targets.
The hop, step and jump is in fact a hop and step on your rump.
The marathon is run just for the joy of completing the ultimate round of 400 metres in the stadium.
The hammer-throw that rained nails down in throes.
Th shot putt is a hollow putt.
The javelin spun round in the air makes a permanent green-house hole in the stratosphere.
The Marathon Man talked in his sleep while he ran.
What vaults up a Pole comes down sans soul.
The kerlin in a velodrome can land you in an aerodrome.
The women’s high jump can get you high up even before they jump.
The mile takes only as long to catch your breath after the kilometre.
The ten-thousand follows the five-thousand in the same steps all over again.
The art of synchronised swimming is the art of making your rear speak up.
Even walkers can walk on or under water without fins.
All medium-distance runners hunch their backs after the run.
To run a relay without a baton, you need to be Stateless.
The flag-raising ceremony is the most un-sportif event in the Olympiad.
If the hundred metres could continue straight on to another hundred even the Bolt of lightning in the intervening period will peter out.
Those who run or cycle behind or after others deserve to lose.
There’s only one victor in every race or event – the commentator!
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
Copyright ©
T Wignesan
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