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How to attach a shower curtain

How to attach a shower curtain...

Suffering permanent anatomical
disfigurement, nonetheless
maintaining marital bliss
at steep price despite more or less
musculoskeletal dislocation,
I eagerly, readily willingly confess.

Ideal for someone whose height
trends toward above average
unless you don't object tilting
head back in an effort to gauge
keeping noggin cocked
at ninety degree angle tempering rage.

Yours truly gifted with absolute zero
vertical advantage, hence
mine neck craned back imposing
unpleasant strain forcing gent's
head apropos regarding yours truly
futile attempt present instance.

Carotid arteries perfectly positioned
awaiting Jack Ripper's (imposter) knife
thus mine noodle (property
Matthew Scott) induced physical strife
discomfort courtesy directly
linkedin viz the ole hen pecking wife.

Without complaint, I dutifully accepted
challenge to affix curtain
(essentially meant to keep
shower water splashing bathroom floor)
unbeknownst that threading
a camel thru eye of needle sewing pin

Would be a cinch, but such
blessed lesson acquired thru hindsight
initial task assigned me appeared
straight forward until I saw light
bulbs blind me myopic orbs,
thus in addition to afore stated plight...

Husband material (me) sorely
tested to the max, no matter chore
hardly commenced, which
spurred mental note to refrain pointing
at cumulative mold accretion
heavily visible and unsightly eye sore.

Arch disadvantage, yours truly
not being impressive or particularly tall
and thought not to retrieve sturdy
furniture to boost reach heavenly pole
which plastic hooks suspended
plastic shower curtain over long haul.

Upon figuring out how drape like
appurtenance got held in place crick
would necessitate chiropractor
to realign permanently bent poise kick
started when initially troubleshooting
deceptively easy task, no quick

assignment, though obviously
fashioning plastic hook thru pre cut slot
became clear at expense unintentionally
breaking off "J" portion not
possible to avoid subsequently
uselessly rendered hook even if robot
programmed to complete mission,
yet all told poetically smarts I got.

Please accept lame attempt (minus
obvious sensibility) to comprehend
anybody who reads previous literary
endeavors considered virtual friend
unconditionally accepts trademark

swiftly tailored harried style I extend
utilizing all manner of quirkiness,
which moost likely spells mein legend
after I pass from temporal plain,
a posthumous johnny come lately bend

ding formalities of English language
writing, yet wondering what strictures
disallow experimenting with poetic genre,
though methinks literature intend
did (art in general) to eternally evolve

without deliberate intention to offend
any die hard who might call upon
men in white suits and briskly recommend
to the funny farm, where life made
more beautiful perchance receiving stipend.

Copyright © matthew harris