Funny Rap Poems | Examples
These Funny Rap poems are examples of Rap poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Rap Funny poems written by international poets.
Lil mama in a Q50 infinity
Known to handle drama
Pulls up any vicinity
know a broad in a Amg
we hit the drive through theater
And we blow on trees
I know a hottie in a Beamer
She fiends for the d
Trying to have my baby
in a swooped up m3
Another shorty in a Tesla
Always smoking gas
Pulls up just to charge up
We loving in the back
Now I’m in a jag
This chick loves to brag
Ratchet ass hell
She ain’t got no class
Mama in a v dub
Fly mamasita
Use to be my dealer
Now she on flea
Cruising in a cooper
I’m with a fine cougar
Taught me a couple lessons
I call her my tutor
Freaky ass shorty in a
Honda accord
Open 24 she use to take me to store
If you see me in a corvette
You know she a war vet
Every time she pulls up
She meets me at my door step
I’m in a nine eleven
Clutching on her thighs
Mashing like the dash board
She texting with her man
Big body hellcat
But shorty was petite
Lets me take the steering wheel
While she gets in fleek
Lifted I’m in a tundra
A dike mutha lover
She pulls on all the females
I’m with her in the summer
Madder then the mad hatter
wearing a black bandanna,
the word spinning
head scrambling
lyrical attacker,
taking your words
and pinning them to the wall with a dagger,
head so spun
you stumble and stagger,
two feet set
but struggling to climb the ladder,
take a draw from the pipe
then call the smoking caterpillar,
because it’s better to chase the rabbit
then the dragon,
Your crumbling slow demise
as the wheels fall of the wagon,
body so young
but the skin is full of aging,
Pickpocketing your beauty
like the artful dodger and Fagin.
Now You may think I’m mad,
and the waters I tread are a murky,
but there’s a man over there called Benji
and he’s a talking to a turkey !!!!
Lately I have been feeling so happy and so rappy.
But whenever I get snappy, I go for a nappy.
Just never make me feel so unhappy nor either so crappy.
Time to be that bore who smokes the weed.
Time to be that betch who takes the lead.
Time to be the nurturer somebody needs.
Time to be the one who plucks out the weeds.
9/1/21
You need to know
To each their own
Fast to treat you like cattle
Tempt you with a poisonous caramel dipped apple
Quick to pick a battle
Thinking I've been fragile
On me they would tattle
Because they think it'll rattle
And cause me to unravel
But that will
Just push me further on in my travels
I'm not surprised, it never baffled
Or left me bedazzled
Since you caused such a hassle
Choke you out with your own tassels
Or just make you eat my dust and gravel
They love to cackle
And prattle
Funny because they're nothing special, like a king or queen in a castle
The way in which it was done was sloppy or surgical
As I move around horizontal and vertical
They always try to make it personal
This world can be unmerciful
There's more to it than you and your convertible
Wow
In each and every town
Is snakes and clowns
So quick to put others down
And to turn the whole conversation around
I'm going to hold my ground
Your B.S. and ignorance will not be allowed
This is rap
Beat and tap
With some clap
Rapper can tell you feelings with flow
The poetry ought to be mind blow
Thing is you be Fast or slow
Don’t stop till the last blow
People will idolize you and bow
Alas you will rise and glow
Blues rooted through work songs and African black slavery
Old school will refresh your simple times and memory
Freestyle brings out instant thoughts along with great story
Rap battles are full of freestyle and heavy shivery
If there's a pause do not expect any chilvary.
You have to control your nerves to stop misery
For a rapper his beats, rhythm, flow and delivery
Like a soldier’s courage loaded with strategy and artillery
When Both have control on these can achieve victory
Written by Gail R DeBole
on July 19, 2021
Updated September 4, 2021
A baby who lived on a farm
Would coo and gurgle with charm.
She completely amazed
Her family each day
With all of her sweet, lovely sounds.
She would hear chickens, cows, and sheep
As she fell into a very sound sleep.
Then she would awake
To the noise roosters make
And would listen to chicks as they peeped.
She heard many oinks, moos, and neighs.
The animals talked lots each day.
Chickens cluck-cluck-clucked.
She heard quacks from each duck.
The animal sounds never waned.
When she made her talking debut.
Her parents didn’t know what to do.
You might think it absurd
As to what her parents heard -
She sang out a melodious moo!
Next was a loud cluck-cluck-cluck!
Then she skillfully quaked like a duck!
She then gave a neigh
As she giggled and played.
Her parents were completely awe-struck.
She saved her best vocals for last.
Giving her parents a proud vocal blast.
She called her father “Papa”
And her mother “Mama”
And that was her first baby rap.
ooh! wee!
I've gotsta gets
up and pee
it is the late night's
wee, wee!
i gotsta go and pee-e
can't hold it in
it about to
blow in thee wind
can't hold it back
its about to be
a late night
warm water attack
so grab it
by the swizzle stick
now home it up
and hold it in
till you reach
the late night
watering bin
your inner teeny, weeny
is calling out
to your
inner walls
can fight it
so, off you run
run Forrest run
can't let it out
can't give up
it about
to spray
allover the walls
with your eye
half way shout
your running
like a slow
moving
Three-Toed Sloth
lost in the dark
but you can't
stop now
no! don't give up
emiction is just
a step away
and now weeing
is a look of
satisfaction on your face
aka: lyricvixen
Friday, January 3, 2020
Oom, bumba bumba bumba
Oom, bumba boo
Shoot the police and
Shooby dooby doo.
Oom, bumba bumba bumba
Oom, wumba woo
Shoot out on 42nd
Doo wacka doo.
Raw, raw foods
Ain't the true goods for you.
You can die hard from raw intoxication,
Contamination, i-in-inflammation…!
Cook 'em all the way through, yo.
"Y'all chef and staff,"
"Yes…?"
"I can't eat this. Its raw, raw m-meat-is r-raw-raawh meat!"
"Oh…. Well it's just fine, some people do it all the time."
"I ain't like them others, and this food is clearly undercooked…"
Leavin' the restaurant, no tip,
Bee'cause I got a grip and oh yes,
Raw grease on da floor, I see the chef slip.
Actin' like it's nothing, but really-
It's bad, bad foods. Raw, raw food.
I ain't gonna buy it, nor eat it if already bought'n it.
Grab some whiskey and take a shot
It will feel good, you will like it alot
Just don't drive because you might get caught!
You will go to jail, right on the spot
Don't try and run, just pull over and stop
And Make sure your really nice to the cop
You should probably just smoke some pot
Go ahead and sit down, let's have a talk
This is the truth, believe it or not
Here's the crime and this is the plot
Open the door when you hear the knock
Use your keys to open the lock
You won't get hit in the head with a rock
The world is starting to get real hot
This is something we can't fix, with the tools in our shop
The trees and the plants have started to rot
I know an expert, his name is Scott
He says time is running out on our earthly clock
Donald trump says this is all a crock!
Don't act like this it's a total shock
Battle Rap With Brenda Chiri
Brenda Chiri don't try me
It's not old and told,
same gun, bullets roll,
pull it hole
strolling rhymes,
quick time,
literally laying these words at pace
while you take out a pen and paper
jotting down like a waiter,
rhymes to cater
couldn't be straighter,
down the line
the same constant whine
from the kind drinking wine,
out the bottle not the glass,
you aint got the throttle or the class
to spas alongside my asss,
I'll set you a task
watch you finish last,
dragging your handbag to bits,
alongside your sandbag tets,
I can do the splits and backflips,
you have splits in your hips,
see me now, I plough like magic,
your comebacks are plastic
made with fake fabric,
with laxative patches
you're like Bush giving a speech,
five letter words beyond your vocal reach,
needing a teacher like a freak,
I fight on the beaches,
I'll fight you and all your beaches,
egging you on,
like Brenda you strong
but your words make me mong,
so until next time for now I say to you so long.
You act like you’re all that -
gaining green when you rap,
but I say lines of utter crap
come from your verbal flap.
You lack and I can back that.
My slapjack, whapping facts
would not be rinsed with tact
since odds are a massive stack
of my fly responses so snap
they’ll waste yours to scrap.
You’ll bleed a need for a map
just to sense our distance gap.
I could secure a win wrap
in the deep sleep of a nap
with word whirls of pure blur
punching, crushing your rap,
maiming your able so unstable
it’s incapable to react transact
any how to track your ego back.
My hit of truth would impact
and sack your rap so abstract
that my heard word redact
would squish lisp yours compact,
then subtract, detract, refract
and ransack precisely exact
the trash you call a talent act.
So, go! Sate-debate my rap trait.
Nick Trim's 8 Mile Style Poetry Contest
March 16, 2018
Turnip Pie, why did I purchase you and try to lie?
Never once have you said "Goodbye", now you sit here in this pan to cry.
I ate you once, but not again, now I sit here to scribe 'bout you with this pen,
Turnips I won't try to defend, I like you sauteed with meat at the end,
But baked in a pie I scream "Why even try?" this is something I would never ever again buy,
I've smothered in cream sprinkled with cinnamon, quite a dream, but turnips I say should not be anywhere near me!
BANDIT RAP RHYME
I am a cat
I sittin on a couch
I wear a mask
My names BANDIT
Ain't nothin wrong wit tat
I got it made
As I rest along side this plaid pillow
I'm a distinguished kitty with fan mail just chillin
Most can't handle it
Got my own Facebook account
Rub my belly and I'll "PuRR"
You'll find me on the couch or in the kitchen
I'll never go outside, I stay indoors
"Meow, meow" I know yall can't stand it
Cause I'm living the life of a BANDIT
11/21/17
FOR CONTEST: Picture Prompt Contest Write Me Something Funny
Sponsored by: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver