wearing sandals because my toenails can reach to the kitchen
If a podiatrist could see them, he would probably be itchin….
Wanting to clip, cut, curl, tear or drill these bad boys
They are pointed, ugly, yellow, and sharp as Lego toys
Great weapons for a bedmate who might harp
I am not kidding, they are incredibly sharp
Like little razors, treacherously tried and true
My husband’s toes are now bruised, black and blue
Last night I had a vivid nightmare,
When I awoke, I'd lost all my hair.
It lay in a pile on top of my bed,
Wish I knew how it vacated my head.
The very next night, I had the same dream.
When I awoke, I started to scream.
Instead of hair piled high on my sheet,
It all grew back on the soles of my feet.
So frightened, I didn't know what to do,
I called my barber and podiatrist too.
They both told me I had to be brave,
My barber came by and gave me a shave.
The podiatrist came the following day,
Was baffled and didn't know what to say.
At last, he said I had nothing to lose,
"Maybe you need a new pair of shoes."
The barber feared I'd have an attack,
Cause after each shave, it kept growing back.
Every doctor I saw, just said to me,
"I'm sorry, but it's not my specialty."
In the end, I came to a conclusion,
All of this was no simple illusion.
Even though I find it quite scary,
I'm now wearing shoes that are quite hairy.
Ha ha a hullabaloo shouting hurrah is neither a hooked hippo nor a hollering hake. So dive into the deepest depths of an ocean globe and always wear a pretty apron or a pair of skin tight leather trousers when doing this brave and dangerous act. For it is a feat not a foot nor a fighting feet. Podiatrist arrives with a blanket for a podiatrist without a blanket can get very cold instead and be more comfortable in and on calves rather than see and view the mischievous and painful crusts on foot teeth. It is the voluminous veins. Wow. It is the talismanic treatment taking trauma. And a half kettle of ketchup! Watching. Ha ha a little button balancing on a ledge give hundred feet up. Xxxxx polypeptides Z z Z
Ophthalmologist
Checked eyes
Have styes
Proctologist
Drop drawers
Up yours
Plastic Surgeon
Replace
Plain face
Gastroenterologist
Pass gas
No class
Dermatologist
All sorts
Of warts
Audiologist
Can't hear
Bad ear
Dentist
No Floss
Gross dross
Psychiatrist
Your bean
Not keen
Podiatrist
Big toe
Must go
ENT Specialist
Ope' maw
Say ahhh
Allergist
Please sneeze
Don't wheeze
Cardiologist
Poor bloke
Had stroke
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved
Entry for Judy Konos' "Your Footle Poem" Contest
heavy legs cannot tell a lie
yellow spots with wings reveal the most truth
visions of black has a punch that can knock you back into reality
when the hand is in a toilet stool full of soggy wet used toilet paper, rock bottom feels like pebbles with incurable toothaches
icicles on eyelashes are the most accurate meteorologists
sweat stained shredded pillows are the pillars of an insomniac community
red devil moons seduce like temptation on angel dust
when a toboggan is over the feet as a wool blanket podiatrist, rock bottom feels like endlessness stopping for lunch but still in motion
heavyweight windstorm powerwalks expose stubborn tears
picnic table graffiti nothingness removes the veil
spinning clock lifestyle shows an age rapidly receding
when the triple layers plastic bag is at its full capacity, rock bottom feels like exactly what it is....rock bottom....
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