Phoner Poems | Examples


Premium MemberSmart Pay

The Citgo pumps offer
the Smart Pay Option, 
encouraging me to 
be one of Them.

But if I don’t Smart Pay
what are the alternatives; 
Puerile pay?
obtuse, sweaty
unclever, ting-your-pants,
half-baked, servile pay?

I could, of course resolve this,
go inside and link 
my banks and credits
to this jabbering gas tap.

Complimentary Slim Jim’s 
await my assimilation,
the consummation code to
be whisked upon the vows
to my Smart Phone

Which I do not own, rendering
me a scybalous, boogered 
flip-phoner with pudgy buttons
and an infantile screen.

Maybe my Robot vacuum
tripped me up along the suck,
drew me under the Smart Mattress 
with the dust bunnies

Maybe, had I listened to the
Smart News,
I might have known
what this pump bastard already
seems to know about me.
Categories: phoner, anxiety,
Form: Free verse

The Loner

i do not have a girl, its just no im not a phoner, i do enjoy my bread, but just no im not a sconer, i know i like to laugh, but just no im not a stoner, im invisible to girls, but just no im not a moaner. i collect just what i want, and just yes i am an owner, no one wants some more of me, so its no im not a cloner, i am only made of metal, so its yes i am a droner, do not rush me im not fast, and just yes i am a slowner. i will never change for you, so its no im not a toner, i do not care about your life, i will never be a doner, girls just look at me like scum, so just yes i am a coner, i do have lots of friends, but i will always be...THE LONER.
Categories: phoner, art,
Form: ABC


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