“A meager life!”
the world hurls out.
Brooding rage stirs -
grave music in mind:
an orchestra of feelings,
unsatisfied turmoiled thoughts,
perceived by paining wounds -
heartbeat
with frightening velocity.
An enfant terrible -
Alone,
singing to himself
a parable:
paradoxal
to martyred music,
divining
death
while the blithe world laughs
with an uplifted voice.
A broken vessel
trapped in
shuddering darkness
and contrasting quietness
secret stirrings,
saturated senses -
quick ticks the clock…
A twilight lit room:
shining whiteness spreads,
as stars burn bright
and rain sluices down
over sun burnt grass
and folded flowers,
the silver moment
bleached with rain
dies in darkness,
while a woeful crimson
glissades across eyes
acknowledging sorrow:
maybe a disguise
for vengeance.
A voiceless void:
phantoms of thoughts
from which even
shadows flee.
A lovely child -
alone;
smothered,
by bloodshot clouds…
and nerve strained eyes...
Categories:
paradoxal, abuse, anti bullying, anxiety,
Form: Free verse
In the dungeon of my human mind
conflicting notions you will undoubtably find
unanswered questions of life unwind
destroying peace, conflict entwined
Offense, defense, perpendicular or parallel
Stagnant memories that linger and swell
Tragedies that have befell
capsizing your internal be well
I offer my paradoxal thoughts to you O Lord
This isn't the vision I want to hoard
Grant me the wisdom often ignored
pick me up, take me aboard
A beautiful vessel granted to my outside human form
transcend my inner space where love abides as norm
In a world where hate is daily ingested
Keep my thoughts peacefully invested
When invaded by thoughts of anger and hate
By your grace guide them to quickly abate
Assist me dear Lord not to berate
Gently guide your love to saturate
Today I will be attentive to the songbirds tweet
Negative thoughts consequently delete
with a melodious song so sweet
In this fleeting moment I am complete
Categories:
paradoxal, depression,
Form: Monorhyme
I had an unusual reaction to opening my fridge today
Two cardboard boxes from a long ago memory stood in my way
And I found suddenly I no longer had the appitite to eat
And with the palapating of my heart came the quickening of my feet
And I - without thought - decided to hide from my past today
Bruised knuckles and silent tears
Even sunlit pictures are filled with hidden fears
And a symbol or a number or a song or a smell
Takes me by the eyes and drags me back into that hell
And no memory is left to be sweet
Every thought leaves me trembling at his feet
I hurry to leave the heart throbbing sight
The trigger following me into the height
Of my paradoxal panic - that leaves me senseless
And the memories flow of the nights I lay defenseless
Two cardboard boxes stood in my way
Active PTSD can transform a whole day.
Categories:
paradoxal, abuse, nostalgia, psychological,
Form: Free verse
My train of thought
Seems to stop abrupt
Arrives at every single station
Fills to its capacity
And with a push and shove
Passengers unload
With a barrage of every other question
What shall I proceed, to be, asking myself
The "what's or when's or how's" and such
Only that they keep sending me off
Upon different tracks and derelict directions
Prolific is the search of further abstract actions
To thus, accumulate a weight of burden baggage
And never reaching in to hold any one conclusion
Or an absolute, as I near my paradoxal destination
Categories:
paradoxal, imagination,
Form: Free verse