Repeating myself
Over and over and over again
You can’t begin to imagine the pain.
The anguish.
The derelict feelings born of a journey
To better thyself.
To become the best version of me
A version forged in solitude.
I scream into the silence,
And I cry like a ghost in a glass house
Visible, but unheard.
Seen, but not felt.
Do they care?
About this version of me
This loathing of life,
This obsession to become
Everything they said I couldn’t?
Let me make it clear:
I. Will. Endure.
In spite of them.
In spite of the silence.
In spite of the lack of applause.
In spite of the hate.
The anguish.
The sorrow.
So I say unto you
You who don’t want to see your loved ones win:
You sit still while the chosen move.
You call effort "too much"
While they make it look easy.
You sleep because you're tired of trying.
I sleep because I burned myself alive in effort.
I don’t rest because I’m lazy
I rest because I fight every single day
To outwork, outthink, outperform
EVERY. LAST. DOUBT.
Let me show you a world
Where execution is my art.
Where performance is my ritual.
Where there is
No stop.
No quit.
No giving in.
Never.
NEVER.
NEVER AGAIN.
Categories:
outthink, anger, angst, betrayal, endurance,
Form: Free verse
He captivated her attention
She wrote his name all over her notebook
Dreamed of him, hoped he dreamed of her
Under his spell, she tried to outthink what he wanted
Giving him her full self, emotionally and mentally.
Loved being in love
Categories:
outthink, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form: Free verse
are you smarter than a fifth grader?
I cannot even outthink a road grader.
I am not a professor or super market demonstrator.
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
I doubt I can put cheese on a cracker, said McFrator.
I am dumber than you are, said his sister, Mater.
I do not even understand how to peel a tomater.
This tickled our friend, Samuel McFrator.
Are you smarter than a fifth grader?
They asked of a passing escalator.
The escalator got persnickety said Crater.
She stuck up her nose and walked off with Slater.
Slater is a friend who is way dumber than a fifth grader.
He once lost a chess contest with a road grader.
We are losers said McFrator, Crater, Slater and Mater.
The escalator yelled “You are all dumber than a fifth grader!”
Categories:
outthink, 11th grade, 12th grade,
Form: Monorhyme
If I am kind enough, he will not beat me she thought.
If she is defiant in any way, I will put her in this cage he said.
She was well-mannered, well-bred and well-taught.
If she gives me a mean look, he sighed, she could end up dead.
She tried to outthink him, fixing his favorite foods with lots of meat.
He came in angry that she was shy, too compliant, amazingly sweet.
He wanted her to do something that would give him an excuse to hurt.
She asked how his day was, and he took this question to be very curt.
What did you mean? He asked, rattling the cage he’d brought home.
She was shocked and terrified, she was an orphan, and totally alone.
She saw the look in his eye and she knew she could never do enough
To save herself from this masochist who was mean, rough and tough.
The next day he let her out of the cage where she had curled up.
Because he wanted her to fix him some breakfast and tidy up.
She was stiff and sore, and came out with an attitude of fear.
She always had such sad feelings when this brute was near.
Categories:
outthink, abuse,
Form: Rhyme
Right Where I Am
God is trying to meet me right where I am while I am trying to go over and above His head, as if I know something that He doesn’t. God said as far as the stars and the heavens are above the ground, that’s how high His thoughts are above mines.
Now, last time I checked I still can’t touch the rim of a regulation basketball hoop. Therefore, how in ‘thee heck’ do I expect to make even a micro-inch worth of progress towards thinking over and above the heavens and the stars?
I will never be able to meet Him, let alone exceed Him in his thoughts. Instead, He has to come down to my level. And from there He has to guide me to where He’s already predestined me to be. Might I add that His predestined path for my life was designed well before the foundations of the earth were laid.
Silly me to think that I could outthink the one who thought of me, well before the earth even existed.
Categories:
outthink, christian,
Form: Prose Poetry
One heart reflected in two different faces.
One goal, though we started in different places.
Inspired to find something we really treasure.
If love's a fetish, you're my guilty pleasure.
Cause no matter what, i cant get enough of you.
Never encountered anyone that means as much as you.
Hate and love, hard for me to separate the two.
Sometimes, i hate that i love you as much as i do.
My possessiveness entails enough evidence.
That at times, my emotions outthink my intelligence.
Forced issues to have your priorities in line.
And i cant ask nothing short of keeping me in mind.
The ups and all of the downs we've been to.
Butterflies emphasizing the times we've been through.
Smelled emotions in the air, i was scared at first.
Yet, i was counting my blessings and there you were!
Categories:
outthink, emotions, how i feel,
Form: Rhyme