Bill Shakespeare is wanted for hate speech,
His study’s surrounded with tape.
The local police were slow to react,
He may already have made his escape.
There’s a chance that he’s gone into hiding
To work on the draft of a play;
Anne Hathaway helps with enquiries:
Where’s old Bill? She’s refusing to say.
She cannot abide the intrusion,
As detectives examine each sonnet,
If she pops down the market she wears a dark cape
And hides her face under a bonnet.
She’s missing the warmth of her husband,
His sensitive hands and dark beard.
She hopes that they’ll soon be together
But meanwhile, her dear Bill’s disappeared.
And Bill’s understandably nervous
’Cause writing these plays is quite hard.
He enjoys married life with his beautiful wife
And his neighbours now call him “The Bard.”
The risks of a long legal battle
Could distract him for over a year,
If the courts rule against his linguistics,
That might end his productive career.
This poem references the emotions of fear, hope and love now that historic scripts are frequently re-appraised - and sometimes condemned - against modern norms and expectations.
No wise man is recognized in a market place
Here bought and sold only universal follies
Uniqueness is disregarded and an offence is taken
When you talk about things with different attitude
Disagreement is condemnation of what they believe
And turn their faces long, in heart bear a grudge
So a cleaver man avoids them and keeps silence
If he has to share his rare thoughts, he shares with few
Common man loves common talks and ways
Throw them pearls, under their feet they will trample
No matter how serious you and your words are
First they underestimate, next they blow them out
People are so easily offended today
This is quite ironic really
As due to political correctness
We are censored so heavily
And with all the sanitising
There is so little opportunity
But those who do take offence
Fall into three distinct categories
Firstly, the genuinely offended
Those who feel the detriment,
Whose opinion is seldom heard
Unless it’s politically expedient
Second, the white middle class heterosexuals
Who like to be offended on others behalf
And are particularly suspicious
At anything that gets a laugh
Thirdly, come the professionals
Those who get offended for a living
They frequent the morning TV sofas
And are relentlessly unforgiving
The professionals feel no offence
But find their roles financially fulfilling
They will take umbrage for anyone
Just to earn another shilling
Even worse however is anticipated offence
Those who want to act just in case
Some unspeakable offence may be caused
If things are unchanged or left in place
The original intention may well have been
That a better society was planned
But what they have managed to do instead
Is to make the world more bland
I Sidney C Hall
Have decided to stop writing
The funnies and offending you all
There will be no chicken eyed stare
Or talks of underwear
No farts,
Butts
Or mention of tarts
My comments will be just
Not talk of sizes in bust
For this I truly say
This is the last day
I have been naughty and bad
And now I am sad
My intention is not to offend
But I have one of my best friends
WHERE IS IT WRITTEN
POETRY HAD TO RHYME
WRITE WHAT YOU MIGHT
EVEN IF , IT'S A RHETORIC CRIME.......
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