Funny Native American Poems | Examples

These Funny Native American poems are examples of Native American poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Native American Funny poems written by international poets.


Premium MemberThe Call of the Peacemaker

So as I was trying to study unsuccessfully all day, attempting to get ready for tomorrow, I finally gave up. The following came out instead. Funny how it is with me. I read a post by someone that had been reading a book, and it grabbed my attention. Then heard a song that I hadn’t heard before. While those two events  were rotating in my posterior cingulate cortex and medial temporal lobe, this came out. I only had a few minutes to write it down before I lost it. Not sure if my geographical references, or historical names and dates are right, so I’ll just blame the wind. And it’s not really about Native American, black, white, or race. It’s “The Call of The Peacemaker”
Or
“The Wind Cries Out For Change”


Premium MemberA David For David

A David for David (For the contest by that name.) First Place Entry.


Once the legend Davy Crocket
Put a turkey in his pocket
And it gobbled till the Shawnee found him there
Then he said, "Oh what misfortune
I am not prepared for torchin'
And I wish to keep for longer yet my hair."

So he pulled that turkey outen
And it gobbled of a poutin'
And the Shawnee hauled it off to feed their camp
Poor ole' Davy was escapin'
So he ate instead a capon
And his forehead never did get quite as damp

The Indian Giver

There was a fella I knew who worked with hammer and chisel

Made carvings in wood that could make your eyes sizzle.

One day he brought a carving to the store

Where they sell tobacco, cigarettes, cigars, and more...

And there it stands beckoning, even in a drizzle.

Premium MemberIrate Indian!

Indian say white man speak with forked' tongue

     He took land kill buffalo and my young

          Great Spirit hear entreaty

               White man disregards treaty

                    Me think he talk heap of buffalo dung

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Entry for PDs "Indian Giver" Contest

Whats Cooking

mojave desert
one hundred and one in shade
can cook egg on rock


Made In China

Everything I see
Is made in China,
How could that be?

Mom told me they were starving,
Eat up all my green beans,
So if they're really starving,
How do they have the means?

They make everything I own,
Everything that's for sale,
There's like 600 billion of them,
So how could they possibly fail?

The good old USA,
Makes nothing anymore,
Everything manufactured,
Comes from another shore

We sell bullshoot ideas,
Promises sure to fail,
What the hell is going on?
When did we de-rail?

Maybe we can make more trinkets,
And look for more Indians
and steal their land for a few pennies,
And if they're too smart for that,
We'll slip them a couple of "bennies"

We are the master race,
Or is that no longer true?
Come to think of it, guess not,
Not from the looks of you!
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Geronimo

Me, me, Geonimo...
Don't know what way...
White man go...

Smoke'em signals...
Smoke'em pipe....
You run us off,
You kill squaw wife,

Steal our land,
Kill great Buffalo for fun,
We gott'em little chance,
Arrow against gun

Some day we get
Revenge real good,
Mak'em casino
In our hood....

You los'em shirt,
You los'em wife,
You los'em bet
Who win in this life.
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Somebody Forgot To Train My Wagontrain!

Damn arrows are flyin'
We're circled and taut,
Got shotguns and six shooters,
You should see how we fought!

They burned sixteen wagons,
Took fifty-odd scalps,
Abducted all our women,
And two of our Ralphs...

Why did they take 
Those weary old men?
Maybe they're gay,
Or just had a yen

To burn a few white men
The Ralphs were whiter than most...
But, I supposed by now,
They're merely Ralph-toast!
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

Connie, Denise, and Cochise

Amid 240 units of toil
Reigns my Connie
Where she walks
Is blessed soil

California sun
To match her hair,
No nature's beauty
Could compare

Sitting at a table,
With her friend Denise,
Mulling over a
Possible lease...
To an Indian
named Cochise...

Will he pay in wampum
Or scalps he'd taken,
Or Indian souvenirs,
Or maybe he's fakin'

Maybe he's
really from Jersey
Or maybe he's not...
Will he want
To keep buffalo
In the parking lot?

Will arrows fly
When he gets mad?
Will he smoke 
odd stuff
When he is sad?

Erect a teepee
In his living room?
Keep six squaws
To dispell his gloom?

Ride his horse 
bareback to work...?
Feathered head
that he can shake?

Or suit and tie,
Briefcase at his side,??
Laptop computer
Covered in cowhide??

It's a mystery,
As you can see...
Time will soon tell
What will be.

I'll let you know
how it turns out,
And even though
You likely doubt,
This story that
I'm telling you...
Yet, it's possible,
that it  just might
be true.

Goodnite Folks

That funny lookin flat thing in there is callin me nite to all,tom
© Tom Bell  Create an image from this poem.

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