ive lost my bravado and my swagger
my new mail order bride was a nagger
strongest woman ever seen
full of muscle and quite mean
and a sharp tongue that cut like a dagger
she shined so sweetly on buy brides on line
promised everlasting love for all time
the minute I said I do
she said who the hell are you
that's when I saw her the very last time
SWAGGER Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
8/28/19
Seriously do real men need to groom?
spend so many hours on their appearance
slapping on face creams, applying perfume,
deodorant sprays or designer scents,
Seriously do real men need to compete?
prove their stamina, show their fitness
kiss and tell, outspoken never discreet,
courageous, total self belief, fearless,
Seriously do real men hide emotions?
always be in control of their senses
never express love or write love poems,
show no emotions, emotional defences,
Seriously do needs of real men, really matter?
are they superficial? not needs, just wants,
selfish attention seeking, constant nagger,
not worth knowing, no need for a response,
Seriously does being a real man mean integrity?
being truthful, showing sympathy, love,
affection, discretion, express sincerity,
or just be himself, just doing all the above.
But Seriously What is a real man?
Composed 25/01/2017.
John’s wife was a good housewife
But she had one bad habit
When all alone with John
She couldn’t half rabbit.
She was pleasant enough
And she baked a nice bun
But when all alone with John
She was the biggest nagger under the sun.
She was generous and kind
A woman any man would adore
But when all alone with John
He wanted to head for the door.
She had soft and tender skin
She had sparkling blonde hair
But when all alone with John
She would not leave her chair.
After twenty years of marriage
When she was out he changed the locks
Because if all alone once more with John
He would have strangled her with his socks.
If Time Stood Still,
I’d...
I’d... take a suicide pill
I can hear me wife say
“All in a days work”
Just imagine
Non-stop DIY would drive me berserk
She’ll say fix this, fix that, fix this again
And I can’t say
I’ll do it tomorrow, she’ll drive me insane
I’ll be on me knees begging for one more day
The nagger she is,
She’ll nag me to death
And when that woman starts talking,
She dosen’t take a breath
Her words come outta her mouth
Faster than an automatic oozie
I’m still repairing the holes
In my jacuzzi
So please keep the loving
It makes the world go round
And i’ll always have a tomorrow
If you stop
I will drown
And be killed in a endless day of nagging sorrow
**for my Wilma who asked me to write this poem**
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