I wore my mind like a corset—tight, laced, unseen—
while the world asked me to smile with lipstick teeth
and stir the soup without stirring the storm inside.
There were mornings I woke as if embalmed,
already dressed in the hush of death's silk slip,
no reason, no riot—just a fog that would not lift.
The walls of my room pulsed like veins
and the mirror whispered lies in a female voice:
You are failing. You are too much. You are not enough.
I was the soft thing breaking beneath
a century of silence stitched into my sex,
taught to hush the howl and cradle the ache.
My hands shook when folding towels.
My heart stuttered at the scent of soap.
There was no name then for the madness.
Just "hysteria," like a curse tucked under my skirt,
and doctors who told me to marry or pray.
No pills yet. No lifeboats. Just poems or the end.
So I chose the door
that closed softer than the others.
Not for drama—
but for rest, for mercy,
for the silence to finally match
the silence within me.
If I'd been born later, maybe
there'd be lithium instead of letters.
But time gave me verse,
and verse gave me wings too torn to fly.
Categories:
my own life, 12th grade,
Form: Free verse
i have lived in houses
that kept me,
but never held me.
i was a guest in my own life—
told to give,
but never to take.
told to understand,
but never to be understood.
told to forgive,
but never to ask why.
they built my life like a cage
and called it safety.
locked the doors
and named it protection.
when their choices
crushed my ribs,
they asked why i could not breathe.
one day,
i will build a home
where my dreams do not knock
before entering.
where i do not have to carve myself smaller
to fit inside.
one day,
i will belong
to no one but myself.
Categories:
my own life, dark, depression, life, lonely,
Form: Free verse
When I die
I wish to be remembered with the life on how I lived.
Unfortunately, with my current state I possess very few to be spoken of.
In my life I have done plenty wrong.
At times with no ill intention.
I have also done some good.
With or without acknowledgment of others of course.
Convenient I'd say at best.
As I look to our stars for answers at times
the clear notion of living a perfect life just doesn't exist.
I think that just makes me egotistical.
Full of more flaws at the eyes of others because I would not relate.
Being happy is such a cliche but ratification to the simple truth.
Everyone always worries about the so called little things.
But they are the Biggest of things to them.
Items in which my inventory perhaps doesn't compare.
As I stare in the mirror, look past my human face
and concentrate on my ideas,goals, beliefs.
Then, Those are mine and mine alone.
They seek no judgement other than my own.
My life, this way, a victim to my own life.
Then what I see,
is a working progress.
Categories:
my own life, beautiful, character, dedication, happy,
Form: Free verse
Tell me you want me to go
But you can't do that, can you?
You just want me back now, don't you?
Just to hold me in your arms like
Everything's the way it was before
You just want me back with you
To be back in bed with you
You want to hold me down some more
And just pretend it's all ok
Like we don't know each other's problems anymore.
But I told you I have to move on, okay?
So I'm moving at my own pace now
And I'm holding my head high now
And I choose to just let you walk on by,
If only you would
You have to see me in the past and not in your future
You act like it hurts but I know it doesn't
It's been too long I've been hearing you say the same things
So you need to let me just walk by now
You need to move on and let me live my life
We won't be sharing the bed anymore
Those secrets are lost forever
You can't go back, you can't change what's done
You can't see my heart, you can't hear my soul
You can only look at my eyes and see the truth
And know that they show I'm moving on
Now you are calling me back
And I know you want me to share your bed
And share the secrets we whispered in the dark
Beneath the sheets of love and sin
Categories:
my own life, abuse, boyfriend, break up,
Form: Bio
my life
its just a scrap of paper
traveling in the arms of the wind
i try to change the path
control my own life
but the wind holds me captive
Categories:
my own life, life
Form: Free verse