MysticMisfits™ Staff Directory
Staff Spotlight:The WanderPoet
Position: Ephemeral Verse Consultant
Clock-in Time: Unknown
Clock-out Time: Immediately After You Notice Him
You won’t see him arrive.
You might catch a glimpse--
a flicker of velvet,
a whisper that sounds like unfinished poetry.
He drifts between aisles,
scribbling stanzas on the backs of receipts,
leaving notes folded in teacups,
and misquoting love spells near the lip balm display.
He never applied for the job.
He just appears
right before a storm,
drops a single verse,
and vanishes before the ink dries.
We tried giving him a name tag once.
It wrote itself into a sonnet
and dissolved in moonlight.
Check back often. New employees arrive whenever the veil thins… or HR sneezes.
Categories:
misquoting, funny, humor, humorous, parody,
Form: Free verse
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Setting the alarm,
Making the bed,
Feeding the cat,
Or doing the dishes.
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Choosing the wrong thing to eat
Closing the door of the fridge,
Cleaning out the garage,
Or putting away the hose.
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Writing up an invoice,
Looking for a job,
Putting on the kettle,
Or learning a lesson.
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Facing the music,
Forgetting someone's name,
Arriving when the party is over,
Or losing an important paper.
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Misquoting a quote,
Forgetting to put out the rubbish,
Putting away the shopping,
Setting the table.
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Breaking an umbrella,
Scratching a new vehicle,
Losing a watch,
Or being asked what words begin with X.
Once is never enough when it comes to:
Answering a question with no instead of yes,
Pretending to know the signs of the zodiac,
Finding a way to get from a to Z,
Or finding a reason to stay in bed.
Categories:
misquoting, adventure, allusion, art, bible,
Form: Burlesque
i got caught
thinking again
and stupidly took
the bait
thus setting
off the trap but
this was
linguistically
more me then a
mouse because
i kept thinking
Faulkner
but f
uck me
Dickenson
misquoting
so not to
be sued
about a best
and a worse
time and i'm
thinking i'm
living on the
border line
thank god not
the actual
textual
line but i
can feel
the way
i write
and how
stereotypically
i look as i look
back on and
in the mirror
realizing hey
that's not
or yes
thats
me
Categories:
misquoting, muse,
Form: I do not know?
Jesus in jest
“light Jesus”
who loves, forgets
no need for mercy or justice
he nods, pats your head
it’s the “other dude”
who’s causing the dead
nice Jesus
no surprise
never a chastise
just fry a few sacrifices
bat a few eyes
merely stab at the worm of truth
Jesus will turn his head
and tuck you into incestuous bed
no one saved, no Lazarus lies,
the epidermis scanks still in their caves,
no empty tomb, witnesses shy,
nice little pharisees on parade
and twiddledee and twiddledum
have faith in their emblematic fairy tales
but why is the earth so overwhelmingly pregnant
with evil and sin as “the myth” drifts away?
has a rock ever opened its lips to talk?
do gems ever breathe and gloat?
and why are t & t afraid
to open “the book”
rather trimming its sails
keeping it mute
misquoting or rearranging its words
turning every other books’ pages, taking notes
9/29/2018
Categories:
misquoting, hyperbole,
Form: Free verse
You are the revolution
But you have no solutions
Mental programming mind pollution
Writing quoting
Popular script voting
Brainiac maniac activity
Quotes but misquoting
Not understanding
But attention demanding
Verbs used without an action
Dissatisfaction
Attracting the people but no interaction
Sitting around talking
Bodies still no walking
Are we rising
Or demobilizing
Soul hypnotizing
In a world full of Conspiracies
There is no accountability
Soul-sucking vampires
Stolen empires
Revolution no solutions
Grade fail
Stuck in the man-made hells
Action
What is the revolution
If there is no resolution
Categories:
misquoting, america, education, freedom, growth,
Form: Free verse
Reasons for drinking, there are quite a few,
some people might take a different point of view,
But if when alive, you abstain, I suggest,
That drinking when dead, is unlikely at best.
For those of us, who like to drink,
There is no harm in moderation,
A glass of wine is nice I think,
And aids contentment in our nation.
A philosopher, who only drank water,
condemned out of hand the demon drink,
He lectured both, his son and daughter,
On the dangers of drinking, gin that was pink.
My father once said, after quaffing a pint,
misquoting Marx, with impish delight,
That work was the curse of the drinking classes,
Then ordered a refill for all of our glasses.
Descarte had the answer, if we think, then we are,
He drew his inspiration, from a pickled gherkin jar,
He also liked to drink, a glass of vin de local,
Noticing that wine and veg, were, never ever vocal.
Categories:
misquoting, drink, philosophy,
Form: Verse
Stubbing my toe on the corner of the bed
Hitting my thumb with a hammer
Someone misquoting something I said
Can really fill me with anger
Paying through the nose for cable TV
Thousands of channels they say
Only to find there is nothing to watch
Day after day after day
Walking into to the kids bedroom
To find it all a mess
People who pretend to be listening to you
When they really couldn’t care less
People who walk right in front of you
And then just suddenly stop
Now that can really irritate me
And get me blowing my top
I must admit that in the past
To punching the odd hole in the wall
But anger is a negative emotion
And it can take its toll
Because now I am almost bald
I think that most unfair
But that is what you get
After years of pulling out ones hair
Lots of things still make me angry
I could go on and on
But now I just take a deep breath
Count up to ten. the anger soon has gone.
Categories:
misquoting, anger, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
I'd like you to meet my Uncle Joe
He's the vegetable of our family.
That is, if we listen to statistics.
According to them, the experts,
Since Joe didn't die by the age of five
He is now a vegetable.
Well! We wish every family
Could have vegetable like ours;
On that walks, talks
And has given us many years
Of pure pleasure and
More love than we'll ever deserve.
How many vegetables do you know
That give the world's best hugs
And tell you every day you are beautiful?
How many vegetables do you know
That pray for you every day?
How many vegetables can crack you up
By misquoting old sayings-
"You can lead a horse to water
But you can't make him stand on his head"?
Yes, we are extremely fond of our vegetable
He's been in our family
Over 50 years and although
He is pretty spoiled rotten by now
As vegetbles sometimes
Become after a time
We plan to keep him around for fifty more!
Categories:
misquoting, family, inspirational, uplifting,
Form: Narrative
And so life comes to pass
Plato, the Republic, and the riposte of revenge
Knowing history can never fully extend
The Socratic palm of philosophy’s heavy hand
Poisoned by power's thirst for peaceful Persian seas
Which stir lush groves of crimson and Thebian thieves
As sparkling city-states crumble and empires feast
Rome culling the culture crush of golden Greece
Where Herodotus fathered and Plutarch bleeds
Tales of battles, generals, and Hellenic greed
That perhaps Alexander was but a minion of means
Simply a soldier of death's deciduous seed
Born to pass hereditary titles to war's widowed lands
Endlessly reaping the accolades of conquering man
Somehow sown in the tomes of Aristotelian prose
Even construed as a catharsis of glory’s godless throes
So perhaps, someday, conquest will become nothing more
Than tragedy misquoting the late...great...Edgar Allan Poe
Categories:
misquoting, allegory, confusion, introspection, life,
Form: Free verse