Watching
People speaking to each other
So effortlessly confident
Words flow
At their first meet
Curling my knuckles
Under my face
Feeling with envy
Sometimes with anger
Secretly hating
Not them
The people from my past
Who made my heart and mind
This way
Just not enough
For myself to move on
How far I go
Pulling me back to zero
Building up
And destroying at the same time
From the triggers and experience
That embedded in me
Hiding back to my inner shell
Everytime my heart hits hard
Regardless the intention
Afraid to be broken
Leaving me no hope
To rebuild myself again
Still making myself think
Back in my mind
It is over
The things I used to see
All gone and no longer there
At least
The humble truth
Close to my soul
Able to step one forward
Own time and space
The past is behind me
Where I do not face it anymore
Now I see
Same but different
Little but better
With that
Regaining myself
Once again
The best
© Sue Sanzz 2020
Why afraid of war
When you have fearless gear
Attacking like the brave
Sending lives to the grave
Brave warriors to the ants
Mimosa pudica to elephant
You are loving peace
While killing innocents
You want to win the battle
When you do the bombing
You don’t fight the mountain
But only from the mole hill
I love you peace. Let’s sail together. Layag Sug
Purple Coach, City of Widow
12 April 2015. 3:41PM.
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