Mimosa Pudica

Watching 
People speaking to each other
So effortlessly confident
Words flow
At their first meet

Curling my knuckles
Under my face
Feeling with envy
Sometimes with anger

Secretly hating 
Not them
The people from my past
Who made my heart and mind 
This way

Just not enough
For myself to move on
How far I go
Pulling me back to zero

Building up
And destroying at the same time
From the triggers and experience
That embedded in me

Hiding back to my inner shell
Everytime my heart hits hard
Regardless the intention

Afraid to be broken
Leaving me no hope
To rebuild myself again

Still making myself think
Back in my mind 
It is over
The things I used to see
All gone and no longer there

At least 
The humble truth
Close to my soul
Able to step one forward
Own time and space

The past is behind me
Where I do not face it anymore
Now I see
Same but different
Little but better

With that
Regaining myself
Once again
The best

© Sue Sanzz 2020
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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