Randolph Peter Best
thought he was a better drummer than all the rest
but his new band wouldn’t put up with such malarky
and he was soon replaced by Richard Starkey
*For those who don't know-Richard Starkey is aka Ringo Starr*
Categories:
malarky, humor,
Form: Clerihew
If you come to Soup Creek town
With any ulterior motives
Best go first to the local chapel
And light a few candle votives,
We, the citizens, have values
Not to mention a few morals
And we don’t cater to fools, or,
Like their nonsensical quarrels,
Don’t be sarcastic or snarky,
Don’t show up to criticize us
We don’t put up with malarky
We will throw you under the bus,
Sheriff Mark waits his guns loaded
Undertaker Tom has a box for you
Our Jenna will tear you a new one
And, you’ll find yourself in a stew,
We always welcome you, stranger,
Glad to see you come to our town
But best you don’t get arrogant
Or start putting our citizens down,
We always stand up for each other
Sometimes the going is tough, but,
We’re ready with guns a-blazin’
When somebody shows their butt!
Written May 23, 2022
Categories:
malarky, anti bullying, fun, humor,
Form: Light Verse
Here ye! Here ye! Here ye!
I humbly present this poetic masterpiece in jest!
Four score, minus three hundred and sixty-five days ago
This handsome *****sapien took his first breath
Since that momentous day, the world has never been the same
However most people leave off the 'ien” leaving the phrase “*****sap”
Now that's downright mean and despicable I must say
This dude is the epitome of sweetness and absolute charm
In the history of humankind and all that ancient malarky
It took until my birth in nineteen-thirty-five
For this amazing specimen with these finely chiseled features
To pop onto the scene with tremendous fanfare and celebration
The Second World War was delayed by four years
Because of the worldwide excitement and huge celebrations
People in every land expressed their utter amazement
At such an fantastic specimen of the human male form
So when I pass on, I bequeath my extraordinary body to science
In hope they can determine what made this amazing creature
I offer it freely for the betterment of all humankind!
I apologize! LOL
© Jack Ellison 2014
Categories:
malarky, fun,
Form: Narrative
ST.PATRICK MOST HUMBLE.
LEAD PAGANS TO CHRIST.
THE DRUIDS REPENTED.
NO SNAKES WERE IN SIGHT!
THE LUCK OF THE IRISH!
MY HACK-N-SAC BALL.
A FOUR LEAF CLOVER.
GOOD LUCK TO US ALL.
A LOT OF BALARNEY!
YOU'LL TALK IF YOU KISS IT.
FAIR WORDS AND SOFT SPEECH.
GO TRY IF YOU VISIT.
LEPRECHAUNS MAGIC.
THE EMERALD ISLE.
A BUNCH OF MALARKY!
GREEN BEER AND A SMILE.
LADS AND LASSES.
DANCING TO AND FRO!
A POT OF GOLD
AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW.
PADDY'S WAGON.
FULL OF BAD THUGS.
COME SPIN US A YARN
IN O'DOWDS LOCAL PUB!
KISS ME! I'M ISRISH.
ST. PATRICKS DAY'S HERE.
EVERYONE'S IRISH!
AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR!
Categories:
malarky, funny, people, seasons, uplifting,
Form: I do not know?
Stumble, fumble, ponder, worry,
From under a thumb a Rifler did scurry.
Cold night as it was,
And only one purple slipper,
The Rifler ventured
Met a West London clipper.
Vivid and boisterous,
So brilliant this sight.
And wise beyond years
To the Rifler's delight.
So moved he had left her.
And after years of malarky,
She knew what to do now.
If she could just find her car key!
Categories:
malarky, faith, funny, hope, introspection,
Form: Rhyme