Long Tee Poems
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She was Auntie Mame, Cher, Bette, and Liza with a Z to those amongst us.
Children clamored for her attention, twirling and whirling in her presence.
She was happy, joy, enthusiasm, personified, if you got to know her, you were delighted.
She was the most upbeat, positive person I had ever met, and I had no idea how damned depressed she was.
No one knew that she felt hated by her own mother, who resented everything she said, did or wore.
No one knew how sad she felt every second of her childhood, convinced she was too fat to love.
No one knew how much rage she was holding bottled inside, hidden away deep in the recesses of her heart,
Enraged that other children’s mothers hugged and kissed them, and said, “I love you.”
At school she was the epitome of happiness. Everyone knew when Mrs. T. came into a room, the party began.
I loved her in kindergarten, and kept loving her throughout my entire childhood and adult life.
She was music, she was marching, she was sunshine, she was joy, she was always volunteer of the year,
And she did not believe in volunteering.
which I always thought was curious.
She was the grand marshall of the parades, the head of every committee that helped children.
One time when she wanted a particular teaching job, she called every member of the school board, and told them to give it to her,
And they did,
Because they all loved her
Because she had been their favorite teacher,
Because she was puppy spice, and cinnamon kitten, and bunny love.
So they gave it to her,
But she did not take it
Because she could not believe in herself,
Because no one had ever believed in her,
Until they did,
But by then,
She did not see it.
She was a child herself, having never having a real childhood.
And no one knew.
I ham quill tee for gobbledygook...
and ruffling tail feathers!
An innocent miss steak kin...
once former main lion den cha hoard servant,
resident iz cow herd vegetarian boar
hoof faux whatever reason iz explore
ring bing foo fighting beastie boy, who doth
newt practice, what he preaches your
truly battens down chicken
coop hatches so... call me galore
re: us hypocritic,
this honest to dog omnivore – more
accurate said buzzfeeding primate -
*****sapiens, he whelk hams
adieu after quick bonjour
hears ear splitting eeyore
deaf finning chore
tills unable to ignore
admits transgression,
now wonder wherefore
whether art thou still
game to reed my adore
hub bull poetry
understandable if ye deplore
such atrocious, egregious, opprobrious...,
violating ethical core
puss regarding straying
against dietary herbivore
rudimentary eel lamb ants
(chocolate covered my dear Watson)
boot fault in the starfish...por
favor mice elf can
oxe plain twittering like plover
with reasonable rhyme for sure
don't get doggy dimples in bunch
cause to skewer me but... but before...
sending killing squad to slaughter -
this puppy, aye kindly honour
my wish and don
me noggin with pompadour
as fetching drag queen
torpedo sized bosom
squirting parti-color
milk as self defense mechanism
averting casus belli thus
amidst melee I abhor
find self on horns of dilemma
life story of this poor
cooked goose flambé
caught between rock and trapdoor
special cannibal delight
where madding crowd
chants "send him back"
accursed unconscionable roar
ring anger, but lurch for eats,
an impulsive reflex courtesy extempore
rain nee yes unforgivable poor
craven impulse to up peas hunger
uncontrollably craving regarding carnivore
pang additionally not further injure
ring innocent animal plus more
to this fishy tail than
meats the Wawa birdseye.
Badger had a peaceful evening planned, no lie or ruse.
Sitting by the fire, imbibing on a spot of beetle juice.
He was relaxing in the most comfortable, darling way.
When a fluttering in the room made hairs on his arms say….
What is going on? Who is here in my house?
He knew it could not be a rabbit, cat, horse or a mouse.
It was something with wings, not large, vole-sized at the most.
Ooohhhh Ooohhhh wailed a voice, it was from a friendly ghost.
Why are you here? The badger asked. Why are you haunting me?
The ghost laughed with a tinkle, she was named Miss Tee Hee.
I thought you needed company. Let’s play charades, Mr. Bun.
This annoyance would have been worse if she had been less fun.
Spoilt Tee lingered in the house for three days
trying not to notice the bodies
of the people he had murdered
It was their own fault
they should not have made him mad
the stench was bad, but he had nowhere else to go
His mommy and daddy had always taken care of him
they were lying around seeping and smelling doing nothing
he wished he could wake them up and kill them all over again.
Who was going to fix his lunch? who was going to pay the bills?
He had not learned any of that, and it was their fault
All they did was bail him out of jail
and make excuses for his behaviors.
It was all they were good for when they were alive.
Now they were good for nothing.
Spoilt Tee kicked his father in the groin as he walked past.
Get up! He yelled at the corpse. I want some lunch!
I want to go to McDonald’s! I want to get an ice cream sundae!
I am hungry!
Ever so silent wind with its calm
the nature of the day is brilliant
Anticipation of performance consumes your
thoughts one two three and the spot light shifts
The weight of everyone’s eyes seem to mushroom
on your approach and the most minute sounds
become ever so present.
Hoping your body will remember
you take your last gasp of air
All you can do at this point
is pray for something respectable
As your eyes ascend and gaze
down the fairway you exhale
For this time you have escaped
Ever so silent wind with its calm
the nature of the day is brilliant
-KR-
Why are you going to that nightclub again? I asked my neighbor Jim.
I like the way they make their Mimosas, he told me, lying again.
I decided to follow him, for I suspected it was something else entirely.
A floor show started and cute cats came out to announce Miss Kit-Tee.
Miss Kit-Tee I thought, rolling my eyes, at the silliness of her crazy name.
But suddenly she appeared, and my life has never ever ever been the same.
Sultry, sexy, seriously sensuous and suave, I was a goner in a minute.
I knew if I was to have another day of life, this Goddess would be in it.
The way she moved her paws, the swish of her kitten-bearing hips.
I was so infatuated and in love, I forgot to drink or eat my chips.
Every song she belted out, floated directly to my captured heart.
I sent some roses and chocolates the next day, figuring it was a little start.
She is really something! Isn’t she? Jim asked, coming to my table.
“Who?” I asked, it was my sixth night here. I snuck out whenever I was able.
“Come on,” he said. “You know I am talking about Miss Kit-Tee, she’s a kick!
I pretended not to care at all, a devil tomcat’s frosty selfish trick.
She ended up leaving with a Tomcat name of Biker Badly Bitten Billy Bob.
Jim and I agreed it might be because we are both a bit of a Tomcat slob.
But every night to this day, I dream of Miss Kit-Tee when I want to float away.
My dream cat forever and always, even though it’s been fifty years today.
Kitty McGraw was on the run with her pa.
They had robbed all the cat nip out of St. McClaw.
Sheriff Tee declared it was a draw
After he drew a gun on the two name of McGraw.
He had an audience now, lots of felines to impress.
She was wearing a holster and pistol over her dress!
The ladies in the audience fell into a swoon.
Sheriff Tee winked at her pa, sitting on steps to saloon.
They are evil, these two monsters, sheriff added to boast.
Pretending they were the worst while Kitty ate her toast.
In actuality, he knew them pretty well secretly.
For they were cousins of his, living most discreetly.
Kitty came out blazing; sheriff looked silly.
A bragging hillbilly.
When you walked in
My gaze just froze
I watched you cross the floor
In focus on you
From afar
I stood there wanting more
To spend some time
And talk about
The whimsical and light
To laugh and look
Into your eyes
And lock in with your sight
All day, all night
I'd spend with you
I'll sleep sometime, not now
I wouldn't let
A moment pass
Not loving you somehow
My little bluebird
Fly to me
Alight now on my lap
I'll stroke your wings
You're tired now
So you just take a nap
And when you wake
All rested up
And ready then to soar
I'll fly with you
Anywhere
No longer wanting more
Old? Oh, Goodness!
The old lady is jiggling the bed!
With her earphones on, bobbing her head,
Tipping her shoulders to front and back,
To up and down — her chest the same.
If the partial-paralysis hadn’t set in so
Eight months ago, she’d be in a quick go
Up jigging across the room to reel with
That Irish, God-praising banjo she listens to.
Old lady, her moves shaking the sheets off!
Quite a sight to see! And, too,
With the angels around her bed clapping in time
And tapping along to the beat of joy’s music.
Her physical therapist had said to keep moving,
“There’s no such word as ‘can’t’ and you
Aren’t old ’til you hit three digits,” which means,
The old lady tallies: she has three decades
Of swaying, twisting, bowing and turning to go!
———————————————————————-
(c) sally Young eslinger 1/18/221
Thanks be to God
Written By: D.Collins 8/7/19
I'm slightly tee-tee cheeky in a New Orleans kind of way.
Never holding back on things I need to say.
Be direct and honest. Put it out there in front.
Let each individual contemplate what they want.
Streamline every sentence to it's "imp" degree.
An analytical approach for getting down in the weeds.
Cutting through the drama, and getting real 4-1-1.
If I'm slightly tee-tee cheeky, I am my father's son.
Between Alpha and Omega there's only the in-between.
Which can be twisted to mean whatever the hell it means.
Just by paying attention, I tend to avoid that.
Look into their soul, and drain all of the facts.
If that's what makes me cheeky, I'm down with that!!!
Once I put it out there, I ain't taking it back.
Put it in the universe, be gone, said and done.
Where it cannot be misconstrued by anyone.