Long Shill Poems
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Mein kampf synonymous as a blooper
Writer of these words,
a former Lower Providence inhabitant,
who dwelled within darkest depths
of Dante Alighieri's inferno
for most of his outlandish, impish,
and devilish growing up years
witnessed microscopic scrimmage,
where spermatozoan with most forcefulness
muscled itself handedly,
magnificently, and splendidly
envision unicellular olympic competition,
yours truly swimmingly
begot during the heat
of parents being passionately fruitful
courtesy diploid erogenous frisson
between my then searingly
robust virile father and fecund mother
~ late March/early April 1958
ushered seminal moment
post ova fertilization realization
courtesy male gamete
penetrating zona pellucida
a glycoprotein layer surrounding the oocyte
triggering cell bait multiplication
subsequently yielding male
gendered offspring and sole son
hashtagged as uber twittering, snapchatting,
shutterflying super duper
cute little boy with short strawberry blond hair,
whose solitudinarian nature
became quite evident when he displayed
acute social withdrawal
upon off fish shill commencement
getting schooled as a grouper
by mister Hooper,
who made his debut
appearance on Sesame Street
November 10, 1969
as storied and staple long time resident
on above named television show
until March 18, 1983,
beloved by adults and children alike
within make believe community
(a conglomerate of real and imaginary locales)
peopled with proprietary named characters
for any of a number of humorously grotesque
glove or rod puppets and marionettes,
chiefly representing animals,
first popularized, idolized,
dramatized, capitalized, and actualized
by the children's television programme
Sesame Street (1969-) and more recently
in The Muppet Show (1976-80).
Also: a toy made to resemble one of these
ingenious brainchild of Jim Maury Henson
an American puppeteer, animator, actor,
and filmmaker who achieved worldwide
notability as the creator of the Muppets
which series originated as two pilot episodes
produced by Henson for ABC in 1974 and 1975.
Henson's shocking, sudden death occurred on May 16, 1990 of organ failure resulting from streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. An emotional memorial service was held five days later at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City.
Ever since I experienced being significantly monetarily sidelined...
(how about that topic for a change of pace?)
Yes back to getting walloped, decked
and clubbed courtesy cold hearted brute,
who casually, glad handedly, and royally
flushed out mine tailored pricey suit
wherein every pocket
once stashed, and lined with loot.
Ever since scamming imbroglio
(three weeks ago today -
July eleventh two thousand twenty three)
yours truly, a formerly
happy go lucky wordsmith
immune to the plethora
of devious shenanigans
courtesy predacious traitors
to the bywords of honesty and integrity
scamper away with laundered money.
Mine fantasy modus operandi to cope
regarding falling prey
to hoax gullible guy
to surrender crisp greenbacks
entrapment like a dope
no matter poet of Penn Valley
at the end of his figurative rope,
when fraudsters shill and scope
out crosshairs stunning
persons exhibiting naïveté
the following escapist ploy adopted.
E'er since I (a reincarnated cavalier
or gentleman snubbed
by sought after Southern Belle)
at night suicidal ideations
visit psyche as haunting spectre
sublimated death wish
permeates thru mine every cell
courting the grim reaper
to carry me back to carry
me back to Old Virginny,
where lovely bones
of me Confederate ancestors dwell
upon bloody fields farewell
to arms and legs
mounted battlefields when groundswell
of internecine warfare
made life on earth
wind and fire created a living hell
he who fleeced me
vengeance doth impel
to imagine him gunned down
as enemy numero uno.
Moribund courtesy online heist
me entire being feels
chopped, minced, and appallingly diced,
hence no surprise
sheepishly admitting to ewe
how yours truly still feels blue
aghast at passivity prevailed
how grievousness flourishes
checking and savings accounts
frankly zapped analogous
how David regarding Goliath he slew,
yet impossible mission
to know your enemy
with absolute zero details,
cuz the fly by night scamp
flat out sold pack of lies
of course I voluntarily
must admit straightaway and true
mine fingers converted cash
to bitcoin currency
yet entranced, kickstarted, seduced
as Harvey Specter
did courtesy sotto voce woo.
Joseph Robinette Biden
now commander in chief yay
manning ship of state
tossing anchors aweigh
heavily pierced tattooed
donning sheepish pirate(s)
at heady roiling waterway
fending off trolling rapscallion
much more thrilling
than watching cabaret
January twenty first two thousand
twenty one marks his first full day
wherein Oval Office finally
flushed, ousted, and zapped,
whose paternal ancestry
begat genealogical linkedin émigré
name unknown, nevertheless
one Johann Trump born within
Bobenheim am Berg, a village
in Palatinate, Germany circa 1789
moved to nearby village of Kallstadt
where his grandson, Friedrich Trump,
the grandfather of Donald Trump,
born in 1869 gamboled
upon grassy fairway
whereby grandson notorious
to grandstand and gainsay,
but especially renowned
windblown coiffure
kept intact courtesy "fake" hairspray
said product he did fulminate
against and inveigh,
cuz he envied (as does yours truly)
the trademark thatch sported by J.F.K.
At long last, a stalwart adept candidate
unwittingly saddled
with onerous figurative freight
COVID-19, homelessness, joblessness
sober statistics impossible mission to inflate,
whose physique slender and lightweight
boot pulleys and levers of power
he quite savvily can operate
personable and suave demeanor doth resonate
allowing, enabling, and providing
law and order to materialize,
and accomplishments downplayed
(unlike previous commander in chief)
whose braggadocio would never underrate.
Concern still prevails
regarding that woman user
egging fascistic paramilitary
white supremacist ilk
twittering as a digital schmoozer
hell bent on sowing anarchy,
cuz other Democratic contestant
did not defeat
soured at prospect their man beat
(him - who shall not be named again
ranks as a sore loser)
nevertheless, an oafish shill bruiser.
If prognostications allowed me,
at bedtime, when a supine American,
one garden variety and generic
sleepy Joe among madding crowd
will experience glee
at prospective buoyancy, decency,
fraternity, harmony, jollity, levity,
nobility, prosperity, serenity, tranquility...
wishing no ill will toward
former forty sixth president.
Guarana Mo!
Most of the follow
wing (fictitious) quit
tuss cent shill, knit
head, (non adult tryst) pit
tee full (sorry excuse
for originality), rit
dunk yule huss, feebly
abominable attempt at unit
tarry yen rhyme for excellence,
benignly, essentially,
and honestly wit
less, worthless reading mitt
tear real - dashed off
(by this hare reed rabbit),
wall henna burst of
(playful tulles toy) warren peace,
aye practically spit
out (from inxs of carrot juice),
now dost daringly be hove
brave reeder to comprehend
this dime metrical kickstarter fit -
bawling contrived nada very tit
till late ting, nor
not so great English lit,
and moost unlikely tuff hind
posthumous fame,
worm ma obit
chew wary verb boss
lee probably re:nouns,
(this once upon
a time pablum child),
nor e'en garner this hare reed
ole Jack a one hit
wonder poetic laureate,
nonetheless this
(o' whar did me bunny go),
perhaps to Brit
tin endeavoring merely
to join United Kingdom
(and merrily) writ
for the underground
to test skill at
heart felt fabrication like me,
thus exempting bing
considered, judged,
and labeled tubby unfit.
Now let yours truly whoop
focus to address main intent,
(sans for quick
pick me up)
and nary drop of coffee,
nope not even one molecule
to fill thimbleful sized cup
I reach for bottle of Guarana,
(one serving of
coffee per capsule)
fo' this aging pup,
who attests that caffeine
(liquid and/or
encapsulated), the sole vice
(except for barbiturates, cocaine,
"FAKE" opioid, et cetera),
which overdose nearly found me
nearly a grateful dead – thrice
occasions, where
circumstances of Mus
self (Stuart Little reincarnate -
with an insatiable
craving for cheese
laced with Guarana,
Paullinia cupana,
a climbing plant
in the maple family),
which bean sized seeds
affordable at an acceptable price
many times larger
than puffed rice.
Plague of lies,
froggy croaks untrue
Swarm of flies
surround Capitol dungHills
Infectious hope buzz kill:
Leftover piles of shill legislative bills
that don’t do do right
There should be no nose mystery,
stink of deceit fills the land
Brown lip locust wings
avarice ride
on a grifter breeze
Devouring all of the green
Dissimulation policies of greed
be blowing
turd raspberries
in the wind
This puff pestilence is putrid exhalation X brand
There should be no Pinocchio mystery,
rotten Would of falsehood
burns lung pollute-y
Foul breath forestry smokescreen fills the land
Cursed sour ground sound
is coming in waves
Flood of maggot noise abound
Blanket of little white **** snow job
is toilet tissue swirling around
Coming down royal flush
depressingly hard
Pain threshold too low to withstand
There should nascent be ... nay, no nasal mystery —
Veracity murrain miry
is the excrement sand which fills the land
Hazardous Waste tax material
has been poll sewage,
cesspool sinking below
the average Joe Citizen cranial
Yes Land filled with lies,
do do have a most wretched smell
But[t] toadies ain’t pocket sorry enough
about how honesty died
Croc ballot tears, every four years, don’t vote eulogize
Yes minions
got such lice, dysentery lips
Their squirmy truth
is always diarrhea leaping DeLorean
Back to the feces Future
To a broken promise Land filled
with dumpster dregs
of nothing
but[t] frog skeletons
Amphibian vow voices croaking
those empty chest organs
Howl flickering full be their guts rotting!
Lying shamelessly on hallow divided ground,
naked telly truth
went into tooth decay hiding
Bellyaching dirt went spit turd belly up
As dem/‘publican Kermits would
Jiminy cricket say: “Dey(light) don’t need no
dark stinking proof”
Those midnight jumpers
love spit mooning tongue sticky shade
un’er a halitosis roof
In a land filled with rank vapors insincere,
ain’t no pig manure methane doubt,
you’ll be pathologically told:
Smoggy talk got put on hold,
while the contagious shouts thin out ...
Rows of zeroes didn’t magically disappear
Murderous Sprees...
sinister Population Control, Sans Cosmic Creator?
Maybe,... I shudder to think
up the sleeve and ornate cufflink
of divine maker, a deliberate pitch
to foist *****sapien on brink
viz self destruction,
asper bedlam upon Earth that doth stink
a hellish conspiracy linkedin with tragedy
namely sinister predestined plan to shrink
terrestrial realm usurped by ink
king a pact of devilish destruction, demolition
denunciation, et cetera doth stoke
unslakable thirst of bloody drink
sucked out the flesh o' every body electric
as zombies and vampires quench
fifty plus shades of deep pink
drain liquid of life courtesy of chosen thugs
incognito golem aliens to kill and sink
civilization, until every person extinct
cold comfort (from this Yankee of mortal fate
lifelong resident of Keystone state),
one day extraterrestrials, (whom might
inhabit planet teeming with billions)
will excavate and then curate
a sorry lot of creatures, where bullets did eliminate
an arrogant, haughty, narcissistic...peoples
(a handful of exceptions to the contrary),
whose various tribes never adapted to integrate
sundry superficial differences among themselves
instead chose to allow, enable and provide
(Putin shill) collusion did willingly corroborate
with dopplegangers i.e. "FAKE" guardians
whose real not so impossible mission
to feign friendship, at heart..a pie rate
but sole outlook to eradicate
coercive, self immersive,
passive, et cetera species
and blithely earn blind trust, unwittingly mutate
into their likeness only to trump
pet gentlemen's agreement brittleness did break
as "FAKE" and devastate
democratic and constitutional compact
(utilizing bribery to swindle elite schools
so crazy rich parents could manipulate
levers of prestigious academia) to satiate
egos bragging about brilliant offspring
only to undermine the complex edifice
spoiling promising futures via golden gate
bridge of studious grads,
who exercised sweat o' their pate.
A change is coming here!
It will be announced when.
As of this moment, dear!
It's a chance for you to stop
being frightened by all the
leftist pens!
So make space, come out of
your closets, I implore you.
Plenty of blood was lost for you,
years ago.
So you would be free to express
yourself.
By a Creator who created and
loves you.
There is space for all sides.
Who listen and who love.
But you do nothing by hiding
your truth.
Don't be part of a dark sky,
Where there is no sun!
Do not soupmail me with
answers that lively spark.
Please stop hiding here in
your closet, Conservative,
Let go your idealogical sparks!
True, most poets favor the
leftist ideal.
Nothing wrong with that, but
time to hear both sides, for once
and for real.
No Conservative should be
shaking in their boots.
Let it all hang out, have a real hoot!
Stop cowtowing to liberalism!
Your heart is not in it, makes for a
patriotic soul schism.
Stand up openly in Open post for the
babies that will be killed.
Otherwise, you are nothing but a
Conservative shill.
We can all be friends, whether Left
or Right.
It has always been so in America.
Time to take on deadly forces of
Big Tech and fight!
Both sides will lose, if all our freedom
is gone.
All you will hear is goose steps and
propaganda's malicious song.
Stop being a chicken, saying
you will write of nothing political.
We have the power of the pen....
Its very real and hardly mythical.
Perhaps it's because we never lived
in a big war on our land?
I know many who look down
on a war...
Don't you get it?
Hitler or his cruel henchman
would now rule many lands!
Hitler demanded obedience
from all.
Do not let it become today's
clarion call.
We need not all be thinking like
twins.
If you keep your pen quiet,
nobody wins!
Comments to a poem like this
may be absent or few.
But I care for liberty?
What about you?
3/20/2021
~2~
I think it is time that I take a stance
on an issue of supreme importance,
I’ve stayed quiet on it for far too long,
to keep living a lie feels so wrong,
I hope this doesn’t sound hokey or trite,
I expect much flak from the left and right,
but it’s clear that when all is said and done,
friend chicken is truly made of awesome.
There! It’s said! Let controversy begin,
but I’ll repeat it, again and again!
Fried chicken is God made into a food,
don’t care if that sounds blasphemous or rude,
the crunch that proceeds mouth-watering bites
is enough to set a bad mood to rights,
A savory flavor, the spice and the grease…
with more fried chicken, we could have world peace,
it would taste so good that we’d just want more,
be too busy eating to have time for war.
Doused in Cajun spice, or southern-style,
it’s a meal you’ll remember for a while,
cut into tenders, fun for the kids,
shape to a filet, you’ll be glad you did,
load it with barbeque, sweet-and-sour,
put it on a waffle at breakfast hour,
you can shape it into tasty nuggets,
or take it old school, in a big bucket,
it’s nearly as good cold as when it’s warm,
for most common foodstuffs, that’s not the norm.
Some folks get nervous about this delight,
since chicken has its own stereotypes:
Black folks like friend chicken, I think that’s true,
since everybody does, no matter the hue.
Honestly, can you think of on single place
where people don’t clamor for this fine taste?
Even doctors who say we must watch our weight,
in secret declare,’Fried chicken is great!’
The vegans say they hate it, think meat is bad,
this must be the reason they’re always mad,
if I had to lie, deny what I cave,
I’d probably be stalking ’round in a rage.
And so I will shout it, near everywhere,
call me a paid shill, I just do not care,
beyond Cornell recipe nothing can beat
the taste of a chicken fried in high heat,
try to deny this, it cannot be done,
fried chicken is truly made of awesome.
The old codger hobbling upon his cane Rich in years, a quick impression, on the accessory The shell game played, by the young shill, Asking for the time, sticking to the plan Distracting the feeble old man, this the trick While the confident grifter swoops in, Barely noticed coming to steal, all that he has The black throne’s hurrah the stick is a blur The shill shuffles with gladness, thinking The old man had missed his mark The loaded stick hits the con-artist, where it hurts The rich man quickly switches hands, As the shill receives the wrong end of the stick Sending two on a humbling convalescent With a drop of the water of life from an olden tin The old codger walks confidently on Lilting upon his shillelagh
Most of the following
words (fictitious) quit
tuss cent shill, knit
head, (non adult tryst) pit
tee full (sorry excuse
for originality), rit
dunk yule huss, feebly
abominable attempt at unit
tarry yen rhyme for excellence,
benignly, essentially,
and honestly wit
less, worthless reading mitt
tear real - dashed off
(by this hare reed rabbit),
wall henna burst of
(playful tulles toy) warren peace,
aye practically spit
out (from inxs of carrot juice),
now dost daringly be hove
brave reeder to comprehend
this dime metrical kickstarter fit -
bawling contrived nada very tit
till late ting, nor
not so great English lit,
and moost unlikely tuff hind
posthumous fame,
worm ma obit
chew wary verb boss
lee probably re:nouns,
(this once upon
a time pablum child),
nor e'en garner this hare reed
ole Jack a one hit
wonder poetic laureate,
nonetheless this
(o' whar did me bunny go),
perhaps to Brit
tin endeavoring merely
to join United Kingdom
(and merrily) writ
for the underground
to test skill at
heart felt fabrication like me,
thus exempting bing
considered, judged,
and labeled tubby unfit.
Now let yours truly whoop
focus to address main intent,
(sans for quick
pick me up)
and nary drop of coffee,
nope not even one molecule
to fill thimbleful sized cup
I reach for bottle of Guarana,
(one serving of
coffee per capsule)
fo' this aging pup,
who attests that caffeine
(liquid and/or
encapsulated), the sole vice
(except for barbiturates, cocaine,
"FAKE" opioid, et cetera),
which overdose nearly found me
nearly a grateful dead – thrice
occasions, where
circumstances of Mus
self (Stuart Little reincarnate -
with an insatiable
craving for cheese
laced with Guarana,
Paullinia cupana,
a climbing plant
in the maple family),
which bean sized seeds
affordable at an acceptable price
many times larger
than puffed rice.