Long Plaice Poems

For this Turk Turku is a 1-horse
city but he has got to have horse
sense. He will not be as happy as a peacock in Turkey.
Hindi, the Turk word for turkey, is how we'll call this...

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These humorous lines were inspired by
Viv Wigley's "Food Fight" contest. 
Could not resist the temptation:)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -...

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I once awoke into a dream
And there I saw a sight.
Adrift, a draft of Daffodils
Breezed on a hard day's night.

Still looking up and at the sky,
A Dandelions nest, 
Shone down like rays of Buttercups
Alighting up...

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Said a Cod to a wise old Eel,
I would like to know how you feel?
Though people snack on dips,
Lots more eat fish and chips.
They say it has great meal appeal!

Said the Eel to the wise...

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Figuratively Speaking... a compendium

I’m having slugs for dinner
Twelve dozen on toast
Some people turn their nose up
Apparently that’s gross

I’m joining metal plates
Using heat to make them meld
I haven’t got it finished yet
It’s not the end of...

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It so early it's only four o'clock and it's dark on a freezing cold and wet morning,
A man with a cap rings a bell to let us know times getting on and dawn’s dawning,
As the...

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It was way after eight, at the Cat in the Hat.
    The whole plaice was swimming, quoth the mackrel to sprat.
    Though the milk was upset, she still stifled...

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I once dated a pilot …
We both had our head in the clouds
Our relationship lead to a lot of turbulence - 
I guess it never really got off the ground!

I once dated a glazier…
He thought...

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When I awoke, I found I was in a different land
stood amongst trees and flowers made of sand
still holding the tv Tuna in my hand.
I walked in through the Crabs side door
and Floundered, couldn't feel...

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Now see a fine display in market hall 
Where fishmonger's stalls sell the freshest catch. 
A world of wet white tiles and melting ice. 
Seafood displayed, arranged in rank and file.
One Scottish salmon commands centre...

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lets meat-
my mary friends for a   pot LUCK meal
at my plaice
colleen can you  m a k e
       your hale mary chilly
patricia please make your suite
 ...

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When eye was eating my serial this mourning
Aye red the hole rules four the contest
Eye sore it inn black and white
It was plane for all two sea
The sponsor said wee CAN make miss steaks
Butt too...

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I saw you there on dew kissed green beneath a the shading oak
no masters hand could emulate the beauty of each stroke
in sunlight dappled glory you turned with Elven grace
as sunlight’s sweet benevolence adorned your...

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Dont hatchet your chickens before they can count
Play bye
The rules definitively
crowded by the losses
slapped by the hand of me burd
please get me wrogn
i know your leg hurts but your uglliey ( insult to- you get...

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Dont hatchet your chickens before they can count
Play bye
The rules definitively
crowded by the losses
slapped by the hand of me burd
please get me wrogn
i know your leg hurts but your uglliey ( insult to- you get...

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It CAN be ‘fish n chips’  stop carping on, there’s no plaice for rudeness!

It's so sad to see a person out of their depths and just floundering

Why is it that some people always think...

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IF YOU READ THE WORDS OUT LOUD IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE!

Once eye never had a hare out of plaice
Now I’m going bawled and eye am feeling blew
People are laughing and are starting to stair
Eye am...

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Deer poet tree righters fore the cite 

Pleas will ewe bee sweet 
and worn me if ewe have scene any miss stakes eye have maid
butt eye no my speeling and ewes off English is prefect!


Eye...

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I comfort-ate my way all day
To try to drive the blues away.
Too many sweets my lips did pass,
Six o'clock Monday: Weight Watchers' class.

Exquisite garden full of flowers,
I sit and doze away the hours
Enchanted by those...

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Don't talk about Chloe's Paradise:
All about surplus bags of rice
Commoners hate their present price 
And now don't near without advice.

Tell me of other paradise:
Chloe had reached his through some thrown dice;
A means you and I...

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