Long Lose weight Poems
Long Lose weight Poems. Below are the most popular long Lose weight by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Lose weight poems by poem length and keyword.
My first spreadsheet went without a hitch
I'm delighted with everything I’d achieved,
but my new computer develops a glitch -
I'm distraught and feel very aggrieved!
My spreadsheet file has just disappeared,
my hubby Peter hears my loud scream
A fatal system error is worse than I feared -
is this the end of my ‘excel’lent scheme?
I ask my hubby what can he do
as I recount my terrible tale;
I cuss until the air turns blue
pounding all keys, but to no avail
He sits me down with a cup of tea,
and Valium to help me calm down;
but sadly all my hubby can see
the ‘screen of death’ in orangey brown
It‘s then I admit what the file was for -
a kcal counter to help us lose weight,
so I’m heading off to the candy store;
my spreadsheet glitch, I'll put down to fate!
Itch, witch, glitch or twitch Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Nina Parmenter
10/21/19
Eat an apple a day
Drink drink water
Hydrate to lose weight
Eat an apple a day
Don't drink soda
Veggies and fruit
Will help you poop
Don't drink soda
No candy or sugary treats
Rice cakes
Make your taste buds ache
No candy or sugary treats
Walk walk walk
Exercise
Trim those thighs
Walk walk walk
Sleep eight hours a night
A body that rest
Burns fat best
Sleep eight hours a night
Be positive be light
Pounds will shed
If you stay under fed
Be positive be light
Then when your home alone
Lock the doors pull the shades
Raid the pantry of all you crave
When your home alone
A person uses about 57 sheets of toilet paper a day!
Holy crap! That sure is a lotta trees
There are 58 million dogs living in the U.S. they say
But NONE are cuter than our Annie, I believe
Men are struck by lightning more times than women
Our pointy heads act as a grounding device
The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'
Methinks flutterby was much more nice
Smelling green apples can help you lose weight
As long as your honker is working well
They say smelling bananas can also lose weight
But do it in private, people may think you're unwell
Slugs have 4 noses, nosey little buggars are they
A sneeze travels out at over 100 miles an hour
Imagine the big mess when these dirty slugs let go
Surely we'd need to take a shower
The elephant is one of the few mammals that can't jump
Imagine if the could, buildings would crumble
The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache
But he certainly has remained quite humble
Lipstick contains fish scales, holy cacka and eeeewww
Taphephobia is the fear of being buried alive!
You probably haven't heard of these very strange facts
You need to know them to help you survive
It's true, the electric chair was invented by a dentist
Now isn't that what we usually think
Sitting there while the dentist inflicts much pain
Wishing for death as I spit in his sink
I only eat once a day
exercise
and start that process again the next day
I lose weight
I love when people notice
but i hate how I feel
headaches
lightneadedness
empty stomach
I look better and better each day
BUt i still hate how i Look
no matter how skinny I get
its never good enough
for my family
for society
for myself
I am a hostage to my mind
i cant escape
But I dont really want to
because it makes me feel happy
sometimes
Its official
I have two difficiencies
I lost control
I hate myself
but i cant stop
with these eating patterns
I only eat once a day
and I like that.
Next to triple burger with extra cheese and sauce sits a pink diet pill.
This pill guarantees you can eat all you want and still lose weight.
It cost me a mere twenty-six dollars and fifty-two cents.
There is a pamphlet on it that is six pages long.
It has small print. I have no desire to read it.
I reach for the triple burger and my child reaches for the pink pill!
Leave that alone! I screech, snatching it out of his hand.
How dare he!
What did the pamphlet say? My husband asks.
Not sure, I tell him as I gulp the pill down with milk.
“Never take this pill with milk,” my child reads.
And this my friends is why you do not want your child to read.
We belong to a local Mall Walkers Club
We meet every morning bout eight
A determined bunch of gnarly old farts
Who are trying real hard to lose weight
We're all different sizes and funny shapes
None that you'd call slim and trim
A common purpose, we all have in mind
We consider this a walk at the gym
You see us guys are all on fixed incomes
Need to count every penny and such
The gym membership is really outrageous
So the mall is where it don't cost too much
For the price of a coffee and bagel with cheese
Which we tend to gobble up real fast
At the same time we catch up on the latest gossip
They caught Bert with his pants at half-mast
So next week, I'm on Good Morning America
Showing off my trimmed down physique
So watch for me, boys, I'll be waving at you
And all my other fine mall walking geeks!
Ella was an old woman
Who wanted to learn to skip
She held tightly to the rope
So she would not lose her grip
Tossing the rope over her head
That's when everything went awry
Her face went extremely red
As the rope hit her in the eye
This did not defeat her
She was determined to win
Until the rope lassoed a vase
That made an enormous din
Ella put the rope on the ground
So she could pick up the mess
This skipping lark was tiring her
This she must confess
Ella tried again
She wanted badly to skip
It would help her to lose weight
Feel healthier and fit
She was a little overweight
And wanted to be trim
So she would look her best
For a holiday with husband, Jim
Ella picked up the rope
She was beginning to despise
Weary and exhausted
With red and watery eyes
She was growing very pale
Her persistence brought no gain
Gripping the dreaded skipping rope
She persevered again
Her legs got twisted in the rope
It burst a varicose vein
The pain was excruciating
It nearly drove Ella insane
Then she overbalanced
And split her swollen lips
Hit her head as she fell down
And fractured both her hips
The last that was heard of Ella
She was in a Hospital bed
With not thought of skipping
Happy knitting instead!
When I look in the mirror, I see my pretty face,
with spots and wrinkles I have not tried to erase.
Fine lines, creases and years of smile lines too,
I am getting older, not youthful, time can be cruel.
My lips are normal shaped and not plumped like balloons,
or resemble floating devices that could float to the moon.
My eyes still sparkle but are showing some slight age,
With the lids a little droopier in my current life stage.
My body still has some muscle but not as toned,
my weight is a constant struggle that I must atone.
I refuse to take drugs to lose weight as a quick fix,
and jeopardize my body with a dangerous chemical mix.
My hair has some greys that are blended with color dye,
I no longer need to make it all invisible to the naked eye.
I wear my age with much confidence, beauty and pride,
and choose not to have plastic surgery as society abides.
Love,
makes us blind
from seeing so much ...
Lunatics from both
love,
Magicians of both
power...
Love,
makes us crazy,
wise ...
makes us alive
hungry,
conscious
fanatics ...
Love,
causes us pallor but,
full of courage,
bright in
fearlessness,
but fearless
in folly ...
Love brings:
drama,
disorder,
deafness...
Fattening, makes you lose weight ...
Shorten the day, lengthen eternity,
makes you lose sense and need,
suppresses fear, stretches the rope ...
Love,
makes us live ... with him we are gods!
Without him ... paralyzed beings,
erratic ghosts ...!
If you come back now
You will make my day
Dear Father
Because I am always
Worrying too much about me
My Father
I also worry about my health
Constantly
I want to improve my health
I still go for my shot of ozanpike
Every Friday morning
I inject the ozanpike on my tummy
I am slowly getting used to it
Also every month I take my shoot
Of abilify on my hip
The ozampike cuts my appetite and keeps
My weight down
Yes father I am so fat still
I am dying to lose weight
AND I know it is harder to lose weight
Yes Father I am sleeping fine every night
Also when I wake up I am always
Having the winter blues
I hate having the winter blues
Father please take the winter blues
Away from my life
Also I am happy that you keep me
Alive every single day
I have nothing to complained to you
About my life
Because everything is going ok in my life