Long Kvetching Poems

Long Kvetching Poems. Below are the most popular long Kvetching by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Kvetching poems by poem length and keyword.


Many British Thermal Units Needed

Many British Thermal Units needed...

To heat these lovely bag of bones
more so than required to generate clones
aging musculoskeletal physique groans
kvetching synonymous nsync with exactly
indistinguishable among where generic
garden variety alter kocker and/or like
mummified Pharaoh moans.

Hence, I will beg, borrow or steal,
as profound philosophical thinker
oh no... no... no, this
non smoking bandit, nor drinker
will explain to police officer,
that me willingly doth plead
guilty as freshly showered stinker

without spectacles yours truly
can only blinker
if nabbed do time inside
state of the art clinker,
where ample heat warms hoodwinker
covering mine rickety musculoskeletal,
while escorted to attend requisite
appointment with headshrinker.

Token Doubting Thomas here
resorts to life of
petty crime without fanfare
for this common man
dirt poor bloke who doth air
(not that anybody
will rat's a$$, nor care

a jot regarding me
squalid financial welfare),
but analogous to Scrooge
grossly dislikes Xmas time of year
not always the case, cuz as lad din
Southeastern Montgomery County
one cute little boy with

short cropped hair,
(a 'curse unbiased
opinion), aye declare
Santa Claus and shopping amidst
madding crowd no living nightmare
like today December eighteenth
tooth how sinned nineteen

bajillion people angrily glare
with livid rage expect
whistleblowing thru air
courtesy bull-let-in aiming crosshair,
whereat vendors pushing merchandise
hooping he/she can scare
up brisk business, hence

caveat emptor i.e. buyer beware
aside from aforementioned
hypothetical scenario - won't ever
occur within glorious land
of bilk and money
America, the home of the free..., where
distribution of wealth very unfair.

Yukon still enjoy of beauty,
this po' witless can bet
dollars to donuts without
spending yourself silly
garnering mountain due of debt
subsequently weeping
(think guitar coming
unstrung at every fret),

thus... ya gotta get get
aware simple pleasures
experience mindfulness, such as
zipping across globe on private jet
hobnobbing with rich and famous,
then swing by utmost secluded un convent
chin null monastery, and meet...
nun other than one cell bated abbott.
Form: Rhyme


The Bane of Restless Leg Syndrome Kicks Back

Minus adverse side effects
courtesy Ropinirole HCL
couple nights I did try,
albeit yours truly wanted to die,
plus also yearned tubby
among grrrrrreat full dead, no lie,

yes absent asthenia, fatigue,
and/or malaise oh my
nausea, vomiting, somnolence, dizziness,
and asthenic condition,
I woefully did decry
unconsciously kicking,

thrashing, twitching, wife kvetching
downing aforementioned medication
found me awry
beseeching psalm body
e'en the Sultan of Brunei
or sovereign from Abu Dhabi

to administer euthanasia,
I would willingly rectify
to bid good riddance and goodbye
experiencing said unpleasant reactions
listed above, hence death wish
of mine to comply

expressed modus operandi doth underlie
trawling the net whereby, to crucify
rigging (leg giddy met) i.e. legitimate
gofundme site could justify
assisted suicide recycling, reimbursing
repurposing... biodegradable cross -

guaranteeing faithful ethics to fortify
upon me rising masses will deify
an imperfectly square profane guy
skeptic at heart, unsure soul will go skyhigh,
or descend into Dante's inferno,
hmm... methinks hot meal my

olfactory organ doth nasally espy
summat good cooking, therefore aye
got hearty appetite unbearable symptoms
amazingly relieved, that scare did mortify,
now get secular humanist off doggone †
lest he gets cross and promises to nullify

future aery missions...
sidelining death, viz abort... fail... retry
else fans ye will need to pacify,
and posthumous rock star status
martyr on your stained hands
leaving widow whose syrup prize

zing tears unceasingly cry
without spouse to henpeck,
she cannot deny
cuz, body (mine), saintly
nicked peep pulled, tattooed
with apostolic marks
sharp nib she did apply.

Premium Member The Alcoholic In Your Life

The Alcoholic in Your Life

Might be the dirty man in the gutter,
Or your mate, so loaded he can only stutter.
She might be the loudmouth at the bar,
Or the woman who almost died,wrecking her car.

Sadly, could be your father or mother.
Cousin, aunt, sister or beloved brother.
Ages of addicts are no longer fifty.
Some eleven year olds, sneak drink at home, they think it's nifty.

Alcoholism begins in denial, first by the drinker,
Then, the fellow deniers: friends and family, too.
Unable to see where this might have a fatal end.
Our society so worked up over fentanyl and shrooms,
We scoff at them throwing the drug, alcohol, up in our bathrooms.

We've yet to understand all alcohol is a dangerous drug,
I know, not you~you really are not addicted.
Many die of this disease each day, deadly conflicted.
Call yourself blessed, if this disease you do not have.

Please do not laugh at these unfortunate blokes.
See that they get the help they need~
Stop kvetching over second hand smoke.
Alcoholics come in all shapes and sizes.
Attorneys, doctors, Hollywood, too. 
Love needed urgently, not arrogant and unforgiving surmises!

Panagiota Romios
4/3/2019

Alas Ample Alliteration Available

Alas ample alliteration available?!

True (terrific) title: Trump's truckling tutored troopers...;
wily word wizard worried,
where world wide web wickedly wends.

Triumphantly tenaciously (try to) trample treacly
traffickers target timid testifiers traducing,
their traitorous tractable toxic troglodyte:
today transition toward
totalitarianism tidily trends.

Quasimoto (querulously) queries, quivers, quakes:
queasiness quotient quarantine quelled qualm;
qua quacking quaffing quota quips:
quicksand quits quagmire quashing:
quintessential quarrelsome;
quintillionth queued questioner.

Numbskull noodles notorious nonsense:
nincompoop netizen nimbly navigates;
nowadays nauseating news necessitates
nameless nervous negativistic nattering nabob;
Nome nomad nudges, numerates,
nurtures... narcolepsy.

Knowledgeable knave; kindhearted
keen, kooky kvetching king kibitzer;
kindles kickass kinskip (kaffeeklatsch);
kneading Keats kinfolk karma.

His highness, herewith hooligan;
helpmate hermit hamstrung Harmit Harms;
humiliating, harried, ho hum humorous hokum;
habitual half hearted hookers happily hollow;
hallelujah!

Exceptional exertion earnest endeavor exercising
especial expending energy excluding essential/
exact entities even everyday eminent eccentric
experienced exhaustion - epilogue.

Matthew Scott Harris and His Doppelganger

Figuratively tack one hundred 
and eighty degrees away...
where joie de vivre underscores 
poetic theme, no matter every day
brings gut wrenching tearful tragedy, 
thee attention for heart warming 
(powdered milk biscuits 
of human kindness)

doth shyly beg to gussy
esprit de corps with elan 
evoking a reddit ting, snapchatting, 
or twittering blue jay
mood, cuz most everybody 
(including your truly) 
dislikes constant emphasis on may
hem, sans mindless

violent murderous sprees, 
nor natural disasters Earth quake
king, viz flooding, 
out of fires burning, et cetera
thus, a concerted effort 
(minus con vol fluted 
schmaltzy arpeggio piano play, 
drumroll, or trumpet blaring),

where pomp and circumstances 
(composed by Edward 
Elgar) try to stay
bull eyes euphoria kvetching,
and uttering oye vey
spin upside down 
with a yippee yawping yay
plus countenancing

only gloom and doom
will conclude myself tubby 
a cynical secular nihilist 
making the ghost 
of Missus Muir, Friedrich 
Nietzsche, and David Hume
come to life (at least 
in my imaginary presence),

and render a meta
physical/ philosophical loom
by expostulating their 
respective profound Kant
mind bending room
min nations, even prophesying 

after a body becomes deceased
(whoops a slight 
non lethal faux pas) 
cremated or buried 
(with victuals for the after life) 
encrypted within a tomb.


Folie a Deux

Folie à deux
("shared madness," or "madness for two").

I suffer in silence, though not alone
kvetching old curmudgeon (me)
(once upon a time, a promising
long haired pencil necked geek)
buzzfeeding off life's miniseries
of unedited miseries in tandem

with ideal counterpart ofttimes
easily mistaken for a clone
Matthew Scott Harris
unable to function without her
(zee wife), he doth espouse as integral
to calculus of his existence

plus attributes wizardly
powers within (yours truly)
derived, highfived, and thrived courtesy
(think symbiotic), quietly riotously quintessentially,
nevertheless beloved hen pecking crone,
we carrion and cavort

(our respective wings
beating at speed of sound)
generating humming drone
beehive ving amorously
exhibiting unchoreographed tableaux
long practiced routine

equilibrium intermittently punctuated
with dynamic pantomime tour de force
communion words superfluous
since telepathic communication
predominates the unspoken wavelength
long established modus operandi

since... before pledging our troth,
while each ourselves in utero
womb during fait accompli
vis a vis gamely matched
think arranged embryonic marriage,
thus marital covenant

essentially linkedin since conception
both of us coaxed when livingsocial
no longer being tethered to umbilical cord
as lifelong playmates
forging compatible association,
now a gratuitous nod to our long since

dearly departed mothers
unbeknownst to them
how like firmly attached barnacles
each handily, snugly, and warmly fit
(esse mitten hand over fist gal love)
vicariously experienced reciprocal

trials and tribulations
whatever fate visited head of the other
permanently anchoring
nsync out rolling - rock of Gibraltar
across metaphorical stormy seas
trying against all odds

to weather strongest
emotional/psychological tempests
wallowing, née drowning in despair
at aging body, fading senses,
and thinning hair
which last named
akin to Samson

bolsters mein kampf
since... infancy, whose
counterpart betraying me like Delilah
wishing and threatening 
(albeit jestingly) to lop off golden locks
each hair reed stranded longfellow 
woolworth more'n fine spun gold!

Laundry Room Rules

When doing laundry in a room
That’s shared by many others,
You can’t pretend no rules apply, 
Like if you had your druthers.

You have to note the starting time
And when the cycle ends,
‘Cause someone else upon
Your punctuality depends.

It’s understood by all that if
Your washer or your dryer
Comes to a halt and you’re not there,
Then here’s what will transpire:

A person waiting takes a cart
And fills it with your washing,
Just shoving it this way and that
By flattening or squashing.

The slacker gets what he deserves
And has no cause for kvetching,
For he should know what time his clothes
Are done and up for fetching.

We all goof up from time to time
But here is my advice – 
If you ignore communal rules,
Expect to pay the price.
Form: Rhyme

Baby On the Plane

Wasn't I the lucky one
To find that I was seated
Next to mom and 6 month baby,
So to this I thus was treated:

Lots of crying, lots of kvetching,
Lots of wiggling around,
All while trapped inside an airplane
Miles and miles above the ground.

With no books or toys or teddys
To amuse or hold attention,
Mom tapped fingers on the window;
Oh, and I forgot to mention...

That she changed the baby's diaper
On the fold-down eating tray.
But at last, the mini-screen
And cartoon channel saved the day.

Though the mom sure had her hands full,
For 2 hours plus, oh, gee,
Still I hope when I return they won't
Be sitting next to me!
Form: Rhyme

Inside the Mysterious Enigmatic Fragmentary

Inside The Mysterious Enigmatic Fragmentary...
Mortal Mind Of Matthew Scott Harris
ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Seedy gobbledygook ergot
visibly argot bubbled, burbled, bustled...forth 
yea...give garbled, jangled, warbled shoutout
if ye doth render
mug gadabout totally confounding,

this unfettered voluminous confection
ruff lee in toto as sample
doggone freelance gargon
sublime red rover - misaligned with
twenty first century time

emerging, fishtailing, kvetching,
slithering, whipsawing 
during springtime
thaw - oozing out primordial slime,
schlepping aboard bissel mishuga train

while kibitizing with longfellow 
ghost hosts Bartleby,
thee Herman Hermits, 
and Stray Cats caterwauling
scrivener circumlocution showtime
evidences troubadour prima facie

tremendous struggle rustling rational rapport,
ruminating, citing his dismal schooltime
track record muddled, and hence
questing to cobble a rhyme
distilling, harvesting, and

leaching (out pulpy, knotty,
Max Headroom Ancien regime
filmy... gray matter) in realtime,
while strains of Ragtime echo
from late nineteenth century

tin pan alley, nsync, linkedin
cubist, dadaist, existentialist...
mine poetic melange jerry rigs
flashes random discordant phrases
kickstarting hotmail...faintly

analogous to processing quicklime
mucking with abstract alphabetic
mire ranks as playtime
forging whimsical tactical trippy thoughts,
nursing eternal idealistic Earthly peacetime,

worrying away looming mortality,
noshing post death as pastime,
welcomes input and alien abduction – ME,
mine "FAKE" existence, sans charade,
facade, masquerade onetime pantomime,
no second act allowed, nor

revising questionable tour de force
I claim NO pièce de résistance, nor overtime,
asper waning game
of thrown away Life
approaches nighttime haven

soon...forever rest in peace
surrendering requisite burnt offerings,
sans (cremated ashes) - meantime
fete grateful dead
scythe lent hoodlums on warpath

to incite bedlam
postprandial mealtime prayer final -
deathly hallowed gleeful grimace
witnessing successful electroshock therapy

of yours truly emotionally frozen
decades long comatose state
thankfully oblivious, when impending
curtain call signals finis!
Form: Narrative

Buggy Blues

In the soon to be future
they built an A.T.V.
and sent it to Ganymede.
It was ordered to go 
here and there,
to dig and scan - it obeyed.

Time passed, 
samples were sent back
for analysis.
Eventually NASA diminished,
there were staff depletions.
SpaceX had other projects.

The unit sensed
that it had been abandoned…
needing a purpose, it communicated
with aliens,
kvetching, and disaffected interlopers 
hell bent on the annihilation 
of Earth.

The moon-buggy (for Ganymede is a moon),
watched as planet earth 
went poof, 
dispersing like dandelion seeds
on a solar wind.

If the space-cart could have shrugged, 
it would have.

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