Long Incredulity Poems
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He relied much on ‘expert’ opinions,
doctrine and dogma
as if assumptions and conjecture
were an undeniable truth.
‘Settled science’ was accepted confidently,
blind faith and an irrational rationalism;
the hand-me-down punditry of pundits
silenced his every doubt.
Against all odds
conspiracies conspired -
unauthorized books read to him,
even under his closed eyes.
One night he flew awake
like a bird departing a nest of fire.
All that he had known as true
were revealed as a script
written by a Satan that did not exist.
His hollow tree sprouted leaf,
incredulity flourished,
a belief system faltered, staggered dazed
into a ditch he had labored upon for many a year.
He became a heresy unto himself:
the beloved of God.
Solitude, the lonely word most people like to sidestep around. ~ quote by poet
I love the solitude that silences my doubts,
The solitude that blends with silence, like a song,
Breathing wonder into each thought,
Whispering light into each verse,
Gentling the nights with tenderness and hope.
I love the solitude that warms my spirit,
The solitude that lifts the darkness and prepares me,
For the trembling laughter of a happy ending,
Reflecting all that is honest, all that is beautiful,
All the joy that stirs up the poetry within my dreams.
I love the solitude that says to me… believe.
Believe in the colors God is painting on your heart,
Believe in the grace God is pouring on your soul,
Believe in the light God breaths into your nights,
Believe in the joy God brings to the story of your life.
I love the solitude that is soundless and defeats…
Every fear, each anxiety –
The solitude that brings hearts a moment of solace,
Deafening the noise of the cold, heartless world,
Erasing the darkness that overpowers all that I know.
I love the solitude that started with a blank canvas,
Added softest rose and pristine lilacs,
Peaceful cerulean and milky pearls, like gestures
Of light drenched in heaven’s mosaic of beautiful,
Signs of wonder blazing through the heart and soul.
Solitude, often feared by the hearts who shake,
At the revelations of a spiritual incredulity,
Spirits unburdened by doubts or dictations of tradition,
Spirits who can see past the endings, into the everlasting,
Where there abides a silent joy so secret, so stealthy…
This solitude is God’s gift, His blessing, to the heart who can hear,
Beneath the seas of impassioned tears,
A glorious melody of what it means to create the art,
That starts with that blank canvas and spreads light, fighting shadows,
All over the world where life seeks to be understood,
Where God’s voice can pass through the mind’s mysteries,
Into the spirit where we can worship, the way He intended worship to be.
Today was a good day - not even a fight,
Today you didn't chastise me - how's that?
It's all in the mix, I can engineer, play to
the bloody gallery - I tell you not to do.
So I try not to, time's running out chaps,
we"re not babes any more or are we not?
Someone said: 'When are you going to grow up?'
We never will, we don't want to do we?
Our children keep us young, it's their world,
but they have to realize it's ours too,
and eveything is governed by what we do,
my dad said: ' No one should play with your private parts.'
We look with incredulity - who are we to give
such instruction,
why should we suffer criticism day after day??
Psalm 23:5 (KJV) 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
~~~
I’ve been asked, in friendly modes,
Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty?
For me, I know – I’ll ever know…
My glass is half full – my cup runneth over,
Flowing gently, with blessings I can’t begin to name,
Blessings so abundant – they put my doubts to shame,
They cause my heart to abide in the center…
Of gratitude, gratefulness and thanks,
For all the wonders that He brings – with this liquid,
His anointing oil, flavored with grace
And stirring hope within me.
I’ve been asked, in heartfelt incredulity,
Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty?
I don’t have words for the music in my heart,
Music brought to life by the colors of His light,
The hues of soundless beauty, the hope
It grows and grows, like the liquid love – devotion,
So phantastic – I know it’s everlasting,
Rousing my dreams, my yearnings, my wishes,
So that, even though mysterious,
I know what it is to discover the blessings in giving,
Pieces of my spirit, fluid motions of insight,
Wisdom from the peace that flows softly inside of me.
I’ve been asked, in whispers from my past,
Is the glass half full or is the glass half empty?
And, my truth…
He has blessed my heart and soul with His anointing,
And as it flows over my hopes, my thoughts,
There is no doubting, His love is forever calming,
Coloring me in joy, melodies of His solace,
Preparing me for the struggles that will come,
Silencing all the doubts that linger on,
Creating, inside me, assurance that, whatever I face –
I have no reason to fear because I share in His grace,
I know the love that prepares the way,
I know the light that reflects the God we praise…
God, who is my reason for thanks, my promise,
Yes, my cup runneth over – I’m so thankful I know Him!
"Selkie"
Tomorrow never comes
shadows dance on walls
the wanting of bodies electric
pressed fast and tight
in the hot surrender
of wet sheets sailing
over solitary satin skin
neroli oiled slick in the scent
of a foreigner's musk
bitter sweet orange and honey
touched in the moment
by a hint of green
limbs tangled
like climbing jasmine
wild orchid
drips off moist fingertips
a rapture rising in notes
piercing velvet chords
stroked out from cherry stained lips
caught on the turn of a tongue
not spoken
as you turn relentlessly
in the tumultuous burning
Sea of Dreams
graced by tears
kissed fresh by
saltwater lips
Ocean eyes
breezes in
towards your
rising twin peaks
whispers over your forest
where the wild lives
a warm breath delivered in the
hollows of the curves
of your waist
fascinated by
something
incomplete
he’s replete
with poetic
soft roped nets
your sung in
like a Selkie
you shed your skin
living naked
eyes half open and drugged
in the sensual unspoken
But you are never kept;
for the moment
suspended
you let him in
but he doesn’t
own your skin
(LadyLabyrinth/2019)
"...And if some lover, such as we,
Have heard this dialogue of one,
Let him still mark us, he shall see
Small change, when we’are to bodies gone."
("The Ecstasie"/John Donne)
"...When thou knew'st what I dreamt, when thou knew'st when
Excess of joy would wake me, and cam'st then,
I must confess, it could not choose but be
Profane, to think thee any thing but thee."
(The Dream/ John Donne)
""I was thinking of Bourbon Street
in New Orleans when I wrote it -
I was getting ready to go there and I thought:
what the f--k do I think I'm going to find?
It's about the incredulity that I
could still be fooled into looking
for a perfect moment."
(about "Fascination Street" / Robert Smith, The Cure)
There is a music that weeps comfort,
Through the distance, in quiet moments,
Healing and blessing, reminding that His gentle grace
Will flow from the heavens, embracing,
Surrounding hearts with a lasting light – the source
Of love, His love…
There is a single tear, that whispers softly,
Through the spirit who listens
To the silence, the heartfelt lonely,
Blowing beyond the oaks and pines, in the forests
Of kindness, where He stirs the mind –
With feelings, beautiful…
There is the ghostlike echo, flinging wildly,
Endless prayers, who need to blaze,
Through the darkness,
Erasing shadows who aspire to reach the maze,
Trails of lessons, imaginations, amazed,
Singing to the soul with wounds, hearts broken
By the griefs, the regrets….
There is harmony in prayers, praises, blessings,
Shedding dewlike promises,
Lyrics wild like the roaring waves on seas,
Meant to bring the spirit incredulity,
Based on sunset tangerine, in buttery dreams,
While the azure skies secret stars,
Glistening in the inferno of a blazing serenity…
There is marvelous in the dance between,
Yesterday and circumstance,
Waltzing in faded feelings, mysteries,
Erasing the darkness, the night’s wistful
Melancholy, deaf to all the poetry
Found inside a leafy grace, a stem of faith,
Where life begins and hides each glimpse
Past memories, tell-tell signs,
Breathless signs of what is to come…
There is life in the yesterdays, the hues of light,
Falling past the memories,
Hesitating to believe the truth, trembling,
On the edges of sanity, silhouettes
Glowing, embers of lasting lessons, growing,
Messages from moments, history
Coaching the lingering yearnings to believe….
There is a song in each sleeping chapter,
Within this book of hopes and dreams,
Solitude beckoning from its destiny of charms,
Rewriting the moments, soft photos,
Fragile details in the shadows, selling joy,
Breathless thanks, heartfelt longings,
Breaking through the night,
Darkest moments just before the dawn…
When I tell you that I love you, my heart beats,
Like it is breaking, …
It never hesitates to assure,
There is a poem hiding in the lines,
Between you and me,
Between hopes and dreams,
Between the shadow and the light,
Between what is wrong and right…
When I tell you that I love you, my heart is breaking for you.
His chapstick soft lips
Distracted me
From the perverse taste
Of stale cigarettes
He inhaled
Between every other word
But it didn’t
Make my sagacious heart
Uneasy
He was winsome
With that throaty laugh
After years of smoke clouds leaving his body
He even had
All the prominent tattoos and piercings
To make me question my self worth
Like if I was pretty enough in person
If my curves were perfect
And if not
Would my intelligence
Make up for
Those missing check marks?
Instead
I was sinking in my chair
At dinner
Endlessly circling
My glass
With my straw
While he had
the best conversation
With himself
About why his car
Is scarred
With multiple bullet holes
All the
Faces he left dripping in blood
Resulting in handcuffs
The way he can’t function
If his head
Was not filled with dope
I could feel the sadness
Drag its nails
Across my eyes
Leaving
A scar
Of realization
That I would never
Be able to share
The joy of my writing with you
Or the band
That inspired me to write
In the first place
What about how
You would never ask
How I’ve come to see love
Yet how ironic
you wanted to take me to play pool
After dinner
Because love
Has always
Left me behind the eight ball
And your presence
Your undesirable disheveled
Absent minded presence
Left me
In a tight corner
With no way out each game
Not in a heart racing from the thrill
Cheeks are flushed
Kind of way
A stare
In the mirror once I’m home
In incredulity one
Because I used to forfeit
The best parts of me
To men like you
I am a champion,
the thought and feel of it is real,the fact being indisputable and the reality pure,
with others,and in singular isolation victory over the misery of disrections is now,and future,
I am a champion because I have led myself and others to victories,
victories over the malvolent and lurid labors,
living,toiling,dreaming,and breathing within the parameters of a system foriegn
to my instincts, alien to this suture,
I am a champion along with others because I weep incredulity
at the untaught magnitude of a work ethic producing abject glories,
brought to my knees,my heart beats rife with pain,fear, & the mud of doubt,
brought to lunacy by the dispassion that consequence savors,
rising, and rising as emotions explode at the chance and moment for domination,
justification, to obliterate the obstacles,making room for stories,
awaking with dry pain in the eyes,nausea,dizziness,despair,
seeking simple reasons for motivation to go forth,
wishing quixotically for more sleep,
finishing the day feeling dumb,dull and brazen like a fenced horse
hungry for edification,rectification,seeing the great steppe with a risk too deep,
going on week after week with new sprains & strains on mind body & spirit,
always some mistake, cuts, bruises, burns & hyperextensions,
compulsively micromanaging,hyperanalysing, a manic finisher,
nothing will dissuade me from the thankless pursuits of daily perfections,
the anatagonists,the ones who sneer & discourage casually at the noble attempts
of the able champions trying to maximize efficiency,to excel,win,
raising that standard which the mediocre claim can't be improved,
I and others jeapordize our health,safety,sanity so to accomplish the impossible,
I receive no grand trophies,new contracts or publicity,
nobody takes my picture or delivers a prize,
there are no special tokens or passwords on the table,
we strive ferociously for the sake of victory,for the knowledge of limits,
this way setting greater goals & tests,
being testaments for others who climb,
do I want acclaim from Deity for my successes,distinction for my sacrafices, no,
I work hard for me and others to be sublime -
J.A.B.
Poetry is the exquisite expression of exquisite impressions. - Philibert Joseph Roux
After the rain falls
Cleansing the air, the earth
With a music beyond words…
My spirit praises the One who created it all for us.
After the snow falls
Painting the world in wonderful
Whispering grace through the heart…
My soul thanks the Creator of every snowflake, each sensation.
After the leaf falls
Gentling the autumn without a sound
Amazing the land with dancing gifts…
My thoughts turn to the One who brings this sweet peace.
After the star falls
Startling the skies with such beauty
Shocking the heavens with incredulity…
My mind sings adulation to the God who scatters His blessings.
After the dusk falls
Murmuring serenity through each firefly twinkling
Promising hope that will inspire the heart to affection…
My light comes from knowing the One who my heart most adores.
After the shadow falls
Fading from the soft touch of light, the tender insight
Retelling of faith that lingers beneath layers of grace…
My life grows more grateful for the One who brought my life its meaning.
After the silence falls
Suppressing the doubt, the despair, the fears and tears
Smothering the ache that comes from depressing years…
My belief is encouraged by the glorious hope that comes from His reassurance.
After the dewdrop falls
Brushing each rose with a sincerity, a beauty that trembles,
Seeking to erase the dust remaining after the past has gone…
My compassion is stirred by the One who lights my heart and soul.
After the echo falls
Resounding the music of a truth, a word, a knowing
Deep in my soul, there is proof that love is moving…
My feelings are assured that God is the answer to my every worry.
After the sensation calls
Lifting my mind, my heart, my soul and spirit
Reminding me why there is no reason to fear…
God brings me through the worst and reassures me that He chose me…
To give the world a lasting impression
Of what it means to be loved so beautifully
That only God Himself can sing the melody…
A love this alive is a love that survives throughout eternity!
In spite of my fear
Allow me to hear – Your gentling,
Your light, Your inspirations so bright
In spite of my darkness
Allow me to grow – through Your kindness
Your grace, the glory that is fully Yours
In spite of my wrath
Allow me to know – Your calm,
Your serenity, the peace of Your comforting
In spite of my ugly
Allow me to feel – Your kind of beauty,
The wonder that only You alone can give
In spite of my sorrows
Allow me to see – the shadows of faith,
The answers that cause me to lift my hands in praise
In spite of my troubles
Allow me to touch – the flow of harmony,
The whisper of a hymn, a psalm, a silent prayer
In spite of my vileness
Allow me to distinguish – the goodness, the joy
That comes to life inside because I am Your child
In spite of my tears
Allow me to grasp the laughter, the wonderful
The miracle of a blessing that only You can bring to me
In spite of my flaws
Allow me to understand the strength You create
The power so dazzling that it glistens through every hesitation
In spite of my catastrophes
Allow me to keep in mind the exaltation, the dream
That reassures, uplifts, cheers the heart so it is relieved
In spite of my weariness
Allow me to appreciate the vitality of Your gifts
The talents and skills, the abilities You inspire within
In spite of my transgressions
Allow me to discern what it means to be forgiven
The incredulity of a Savior’s love, His awesome sacrifice
In spite of my worldliness
Allow me to experience the sacredness of His presence
The perfect peace, the treasure of a relationship with Jesus
In spite of me, dear Lord
Allow me to rise above the wickedness, the crimes
That remind me I was once so wrong, so vulgar, so very lost!
In spite of me, dear LORD….
Allow me to remember the hope that comes from knowing
I am Yours and You are mine… together, we will always abide