Long Humorous poetry Poems

My penchant for writing was showing
The comments I received were ‘glowing’
But at the end of the day
I get another N/A
My success in contests is slowing!

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON ON 1st September 2016

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO...

Read More

Good evening Ladies 
May I say, I am honored and privileged
As this is the first ever time
I have read in front of a woman’s only group
And a fine group of bovine beauties you are

I truly...

Read More

A Troll in My Trunk
(Inspired by the YouTube video ‘A Monkey in your Trunk’)


Ok! Some crazy person made a YouTube video, about a monkey in your trunk.
Yep, my Trolls saw it, on their new cell...

Read More

Some poems I can’t comprehend
I struggle reading to the end
Flaunting a complex word
Its usage quite absurd
No comments not e’en from a friend!


I love learning new words on soup but  get frustrated when I see...

Read More

It’s what gets me up in the morning
It motivates me every day
Coffee
A normal person might say my dog
Or having to use the bathroom
Okay, a sad normal person would say that
Some things should just be legalized
Like...

Read More

Writing my first Sonnet was like a pregnancy.
I knew I wanted to give birth to one 
and took on the parental responsibility
knowing it wouldn't... or shouldn't take nine months.
There'd been no morning sickness nausea
but there...

Read More

Santa, I have an important request.
Please don't embarrass me with ho ho hos.
If you'd looked at my face you might have guessed.
I'm serious about fixing my nose.

I can sense you are stifling your laughter.
Your bowl...

Read More

To pick a good subject - to know what to do
A matter that matters 'bout what, where and who
To stick to the script and be stuck in a crowd?
Or stick out as lonely as bright...

Read More

The mountain, it was steep.
The snow was very deep.
Caused involuntary “ahs”
from anyone who saw.

To get up to the top
was not some little hop.
It took tram, chair and poma
to tackle that big momma.

To start from the...

Read More

A Friend Shares Pear Bounty.

We have a long time friend
Who has a great pear tree.
She can’t begin to eat them all
So shares excess pears with me.

Pears long been my favorite fruit
Oh I like peaches all...

Read More

Tell me
how did we get here 
at a swishing swapping party?
(The voices echo in emptiness) 

Bubbly cheerful and happy, naked and raw 
forever bachelors Larry and Harry, 
and the hot mom and the pool boy...

Read More

Wily wordsmith wields wisdom and wit
renders requiem welcoming thee to visit,
no matter foisting poetic riffraff (mine)
necessitates applying figurative tourniquet
to staunch potential

life threatening hemorrhage
oozing out fifty shades of
your gray cerebral moon unit,
thus best be extremely cautious
heed...

Read More

One of life’s treasures.

I have something whose “cash” value is of little concern
But its value to me is growing, this is something I learn.

I have a neat treasure. Tiffany is the name.
The halo ‘round her...

Read More

DISCLAIMER: This is a tongue-in-cheek, sardonic critique 
of my own poetry from the perspective of a fictitious non poetry lover. This is not aimed at any of you wonderful Soup poets... please do not be...

Read More

gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek
   re: byte size buttock 
attached via usb (uniform firm behind) to this freak
   with bowel movement incontinence + gas filled gut
evoking contortionist frown...

Read More

I did not post a poem yesterday…
I’m sure some of you were concerned…even though nobody inquired….
to set your minds at ease…I didn’t forget…I am not sick…nor have I retired…

It wasn’t from lack of inspiration or...

Read More

Voices voices telling me
Where to go
Who to see
What to say
And who to be
How to think 
What to believe 
What to buy
And what to spend 
Where to start
And where to end
Who to hate
And to friend 
When...

Read More

Charming and filled with humorous doggy characters, so unique 
I’m floored when I think of an aussidoodle, or a scotchi‘s fido physique
Pages of dogs all breeds and places, RG’s fun reads, an original book
Find Doggy...

Read More

I’m not an animal or creature, I’m just a human being
but if the wizard can’t help, then from soup I’ll be fleeing
The wicked soup witch says my poems are dire
she declared I’m past it and...

Read More

In that cheerful house room,
                Everything  ok, by the air and the floor ...
     ...

Read More

A Tongue firmly in cheek poem based on soup poetry contests

I can only agree with your sentiment Mister Lawless
Although I enter a few select contests nevertheless!

I know you’re discerning, and don’t show any bias
Yet with...

Read More

10 YEARS
                The girl wants to be a teenager,
           ...

Read More

Longing for a Lunker

When I was but a lad
Butch and I would fish.
In any stream or river
To catch a “lunker” was our wish.

As we reached our teens
Our angling skills we honed.
But still our quest eluded...

Read More

Well, I suppose that I am again revealing my age,
But I grew up when Burma Shave signs were all the rage!
Could it be that those 'masterly creations' sparked my poetic bent,
As I soaked up a...

Read More

I'll dibble dab and squiggle on my pad 
like a mad lad and if it's good it's bad and bad is good, 
words are misunderstood, 
not could, wood, should or hood dudes 
in moods too...

Read More