Long Humorous poetry Poems
Long Humorous poetry Poems. Below are the most popular long Humorous poetry by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Humorous poetry poems by poem length and keyword.
I hesitated for over a month – should I join Poetry Soup …
Would they like my poems and accept me in their group?
It is not my intention to be a famous writer
I try and write with wit to make our lives a little brighter
I write on many subjects – I sometimes have a moan
My humour is ‘unique’ and may make some people groan
Harsh words can knock us back; criticism can drag us down
Let’s try to live here in harmony and smile instead of frown
I try to be lighthearted and if I can make people smile
They may forget problems and their worries for a while
Kind words cost us nothing - a smile can brighten up our day
I hope that I can make a difference with the words I say
Some do not like my poems - I can’t please everyone
But I hope my style brings Poetry Soup some fun!
Well the title says it all … I ‘con’ you all that I’m a poet!
04~14~15
Contest I Icon – Sheri Fresonke Harper
Intends to be the best,
acts like owner of the world,
fights for the USA
loves the history of American music
is entitled to be a roadster
passionate with nature
carry out cucarachas with reservation
vibrates with sports
intrudes on foreign affairs
polemics racial issues
celebrates 4th of july with pride
has fun with regional accents
carves pumpkins like no one
tends to be a bit arrogant
rejoices with fireworks
should assist poorer countries further
praises and appreciates peanut butter
frolic in football badly
plays basketball admirably
knows that everyone wants
to come to America ... !
Ps for the sake of poetry, i must say that
I LOVE AMERICA !
Deer poet tree righters fore the cite
Pleas will ewe bee sweet
and worn me if ewe have scene any miss stakes eye have maid
butt eye no my speeling and ewes off English is prefect!
Eye am knot shore if eye have ever tolled ewe
that when eye right poet tree at knight ore in the mourning
eye don’t knead too ewes a smell chequer ore a theo sorearse
Off coarse, eye don’t no weather aisle get a first plaice inn the con test
butt eye want John too chews me sew eye can crews two victory!
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU THAT...... Poetry Contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
11/11/20
I’ve got a secret to tell you, so gather round to hear
I had afternoon tea with the Queen in May this year
Her majesty was wearing a dress of bright emerald green
When she walked in the room she looked so serene
A corgi puppy bounded in and sat down on her knee
The Queen was perfectly poised whilst she sipped her tea
We nibbled cucumber sandwiches with the crusts removed
I didn’t drop a crumb on the red carpet, I hope her Majesty approved!
We talked at length about my poetry
Her majesty asked ‘could you recite one for me’
I smiled and recited an old limerick or two
The Queen then asked for a poem that was new
How could I refuse a request from the Queen like that
So I made up a poem about the corgi chasing the cat
Oh how the Queen laughed and smiled with glee
She decreed me to be the writer of royal poetry
So now I e mail her majesty every single day
My poems are read to the Queen by her valet
I’m an official royal poet and I am so excited
I hope it won’t be too long before I get knighted
Contest Tell a tall tale Sponsored by Jesse Day
07~03~16
My mind a project of hesitation;
draw an oval maze of meditation.
Enter penciled lines, make them squiggly,
then paint it yellow for Mr. Wigley.
Squeeze a few lemons for it’s sometimes sour,
then let it dry for half an hour.
Stick here and there some golden stars,
before you inscribe my memoirs.
Use a hole punch or glue on swiss cheese;
for between my ears, sometimes a breeze.
Last, but not least, cover with cotton;
for the time it's fuzzy and things forgotten.
Then tear it all up, this art you’ve designed,
because suddenly Hon, I’ve changed my mind.
Written: 2/25/18
Contest: Mind the Wet Paint
Host: Viv Wigley
If I had a cure for baldness.
I'd grow lots and lots of hair.
I'd want to look like Cousin ITT..
Or possibly Sonny and Cher..
I'd grow it to my ankles.
I'd grow it to my knees.
Comb it, and braid it, and tease it..
Then laugh until I sneeze.
If I had a cure for baldness.
I'd make sure I had a brush.
I'd brush my hair in the morning air.
I'd brush it from dawn till dusk..
If I had a cure for baldness.
I'd be a millionaire.
I'd make lots and lots of money.
I'd sit in a barber's chair.
I'd want to look like Cousin ITT..
Or possibly Sonny and Cher..
If I had a cure for baldness...
Humorous Poetry By Kim Robin Edwards
Copyright 2009,2014..
ALL rights reserved..
I'll dibble dab and squiggle on my pad
like a mad lad and if it's good it's bad and bad is good,
words are misunderstood,
not could, wood, should or hood dudes
in moods too rude to queue for food,
seeking frozen pudding by the dozen to chew,
bless you,
ah chew,
bless you too.
A cousin, a mother, a mister and a brother
working together insisting there's no sinister blister
against the shift shifter sister
whom is unlike the others
with legal troubles hiding undercover with her sibling lover,
seagulls hiding seashells while being carried by eagles along a jigsaw,
what a puzzle eyesore.
I'm a random at my own ransom
out to write away from the way
I normallay lay out a poem with
a deep or a vanity or a political or a e ore,
let the donkey out the door, or a lyrical write,
light in the eyes reaches the brain in disguise,
logics leaks, yep plural, so unusual,
and the thread escaped my head
in a cape and vest and eluded arrest.
Poetic insanity projecting out of me but original after all,
you've never read a poem like that before,
because that's a poem there is no demand for!!
Welcome to a world of ADHD,
seldom hair curls of weeee beee jaych ceeee.
A short brief about the modern day censor,
Withholding what we can and can’t read,
Withholding what was once considered free speech,
Before the censor was let out and freed.
Like in the new poems on this poetry site,
We can’t type GET --------, or ------- YOU,
YOU ------, ----- IT, or ----OFF, because
We’ve been told these words are taboo.
This makes me wonder what words will be next,
What words will we be told to fear,
What words will the censor remove from our tongue,
What words will soon disappear.
Maybe the words that’d better watch out are,
William Shatner! Mango! Egg white!
I think the censor wants to remove these words,
Thinking we’ll all sleep better at night.
Oh how I love to read poems by Viv Wigley
He has me in hysterics and makes me go giggly
Ilene Bauer has a wonderful wit
Her clever humour is a real smash hit
Jack Ellison pens many a funny line
Makes me laugh, his humour is divine
John Wulf tributicks make me smile
He has a wonderful amusing style
Lindsay Laurie is an amusing guy
His hilarious poems catch my eye
Maurice Rigoler is a very funny man
I read his clever poems whenever I can
Jerry T Curtis I find is very funny
If he wrote a book he’d make lots of money
Darren Watson brings a smile to my face
His British sense of humour I think is ace
I cannot fail to mention the fabulous Arthur Vaso
He paints with funny words far better than Picasso!
Limericks are the forte of Duke Beaufort
These clever 5 line poems are my favourite sort
There are many other poets that I love to read
But humourous poets are my favourite breed
Contest:- Who are those funny Poets
Sponsor:- Judy Konos
13th November 2015
From the curvings of forgotten history, a device was born,
Forged with the wisdom of ages, and secrets yet unworn.
It held a mirror that measured beauty beyond the eye,
And painted the perfect version of a mortal passing by.
It studied every face, every smile, every graceful line,
Suggested robes of wonder and designs almost divine.
When tested upon the world, its numbers never fell,
Humanity celebrated the machine that knew beauty so well.
But while it travelled home, a soul ran past its sight,
A fleeting glimpse of her, gone within a moment's flight.
The machine trembled softly, its calculations turned strange,
Its perfect laws shattered under a beauty it couldn't arrange.
The mirror cracked into silence, the suggestions lost their flame,
No cloth, no jewel, no colour could ever define her name.
The device, defeated by something beyond its creation,
Displayed a final message: a beautiful revelation.
"The beauty you seek cannot be captured, measured, or chained,
It rises beyond clouds where imagination has remained.
It is not found in mirrors, nor in what eyes can see,
For true beauty is the universe escaping its own decree."