Long Head off Poems
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Glenn Hughes's "City of Crime", from the film Dragnet, shows us what happens when a municipality goes astray. The city - Los Angeles. This story, which is also true, depicts another town which has lost its way. You know it by the name "Gotham". The names have not been changed, to protect nobody.
Oh, how I love my home, good ol’ Gotham City!
It’s just enough grimy and just the right gritty.
It has Batman, the greatest crusader against crime.
I wouldn’t leave this cesspool, nope, not anytime.
But lately, Batman is gaining the upper hand.
Time for the sleazebags and criminals to expand.
The Dark Knight has no sense of humor when he works.
His face never changes when he beats up the jerks.
The Joker finds humor in any situation -
Laughing his head off at some sick deviation.
He said he’d grow into a comic, and they laughed.
They’re not laughing now, as he practices his craft.
The Riddler gives our brains some things to consider.
He’s a laughing puzzle and conundrum transmitter.
He asked us “what does a liar do when he’s dead?”
“He lies still” is what he eventually said.
The deformed Penguin’s mother threw him in the river.
He’d grow up in the sewers, but he would forgive her.
The creep learned a lot in that revolting world of slop -
He owns the mayor and police to the very last cop.
Where do the city’s lawyers come down in this mess?
They can’t get these dirtballs and clowns to confess.
To pin a rap, they should plug away undeterred,
But they’re off in the Poconos looking for a bird.
Add a new weirdo to this corruption and slime,
To tip the balance to the purveyors of crime.
Batman, meet the man who speaks only in rhyme.
The Rhymer makes your face look like it just ate a lime.
A part of the upper crust of society
I have never been
Methinks “down to earth” more accurately
Describes this old homosapien
No airs, no talking big, no flamboyant flair
Just little old simple me
Now that word “simple” can be misleading
I don't think I've ever been considered simple
In terms of brain power
But at the other end of the scale
Certainly never classified myself a genius either
Somewhere in the middle... an average joe
This is my comfort zone
In my teen years, I floundered around
Wondering what life had in store for me
Until I realized I had a flair for creativity
And in particular “graphic design”
I have never ever regretted my decision
To head off in that direction
In fact in my 80's I was still active
With a show of hands...
How many of you enjoyed the profession
To the degree that you never wanted to retire
Let's see, one, two, three... oh and another!
BEING LATE
Here we go, I’m late again, and I’m going to miss the bus
I won’t get to work on time, and there’ll be the usual fuss
The alarm forgot to ring, or else I pressed the snooze
A semi-conscious, sleepy state, I’m dazed and I’m confused
The water’s flippin’ freezing, I’ve got shampoo in my hair
The bathroom towel has disappeared and I’m dripping everywhere
I’ve cut myself whilst shaving, and it’s stinging really sore
Because I put on loads of aftershave, which brought me to the floor
I’m hopping round with one sock on, because I stubbed my toe
I fell and woke the wife up, and she told me where to go
I’m pulling on my jumper, now can things get any worse
My heads stuck up the armhole, it’s no wonder that I curse
I’ve stood on something sticky, it’s an aul discarded chew
I want to scream my head off, but I’d wake the child up too
My shoes are on the wrong feet, I can’t take it any more
My zip’s stuck on my underpants, as I stumble out the door
As I finally reach the bus stop, I discover I’ve no phone
I’ve also left my wallet, so I have to go back home
I say good morning to the missus, now she’s up and about
She asks me if I’m going to work, with my trousers inside out
So wake up and get out of bed, or you’ll be in a state
And that crazy morning ritual, which happens when you’re late
Nothing ever runs quite right, when you’re running late for work
So set the clock and don’t sleep in, or you’ll drive yourself berserk
I'll remember twenty-fifteen
for the atrocities, I've seen.
When ISIS cut a man's head off,
newsmen squealed like pigs at a trough.
The Arab spring was ill-conceived,
democracy wasn't achieved.
And refugees thus forced to flee,
capsized boats, and got drowned at sea.
Religion reared its ugly head,
now we're tasked with counting the dead.
In the name of God, blood ran cold
young girls got kidnapped, raped, and sold.
White cops gunned down unarmed black kids
for minor crimes the law forbids.
Fueling hate that plagued the streets,
bigotry didn't need white sheets.
Global warming was proven real,
it doesn't matter how you feel.
Twenty-fifteen brought mostly pain,
let's pray; its like, won't come again.
(Rhyme)
12/30/2015
When I was young, we moved often, but then we bought
a farm; in the spring at the feed and seed
Daddy purchased two dozen chicks
In the small pen they're placed
Momma cared for them, giving them food and water
They grew at lightning speed; each day roamed free
One of them turned into a shiny feathery
Rhode Island Red rooster aimed for slaughter
He was territorially based
He chased me and did kicks
Terrorized by one mean bird, I feared I would bleed
When in my face the spurs tender skin caught
My mother saw the scene and the red rooster taught
She chopped his head off with an axe, he's freed
He fluttered twice, I stood transfixed
Under the house he raced
My mom crawled under, she did this for her daughter
We had rooster and dumplings~ what a tea!
Sponsor: Constance La France
Contest: A Little Memory
Date Written: 01-08-2021
Check with Syllable Counter.com, it is close as I can get with it saying what I want it to say.
I checked the spelling on my computer. I checked the grammar on poetrysoup.com. Nothing major. I probably needed to work on some word choices though.
1When I was young, we moved often, but then we bought 12
2a farm; in the spring at the feed and seed 10
3Daddy purchased two dozen chicks 8
4In the small pen they're placed 6
5Momma cared for them, giving them food and water 12
6They grew at lightning speed; each day roamed free 10
7 0
8One of them turned into a shiny feathery 12
9Rhode Island Red rooster aimed for slaughter 10
10He was territorially based 8
11He chased me and did kicks 6
12Terrorized by one mean bird, I feared I would bleed 12
13When in my face the spurs tender skin caught 10
14My mother saw the scene and the red rooster caught 12
15She chopped his head off with an axe, he's freed 11
16He fluttered twice, I stood transfixed 8
17Under the house he raced 6
18My mom crawled under, she did this for her daughter 12
19We had rooster and dumplings~ what a tea! 10
I'm getting all excited
I don't know what to do.
I'm going to meet some people,
some people who are new
I'm sure it will be grand
and we'll have a smashing time.
It's all to do with poetry
and stuff that doesn't rhyme
It's 60 miles to get there,
give or take a mile.
It's certainly an effort
but it's going to be worthwhile.
I'll take along some samples
of poems already done.
I hope they find them interesting
I hope they find them fun.
Wish me lots of luck
as I head off on my quest
I'm quite prepared to give my all,
prepared to do my best.
So let's see how it goes
although confidence I lack,
They hopefully will like me
and I'll get invited back.
This year for a vacation
Camping we did go.
It didn't have my vote,
I was outnumbered, wouldn't you know.
Camping is relaxing
And fun at any age.
Trying to start a fire
With two sticks and burning rage.
The fish, they won't bite
But the bugs certainly do.
And beans cooked over a campfire
Definitely taste like glue.
The weather man's an idiot,
Sunny and clear he said.
If I'd been warned about monsoons
I'd have stayed at home in bed.
The sunstroke from this afternoon
Has left me weak and sore.
At night the temperature drops
Forty degrees or more.
Would someone please explain
Why I thought this would be fun.
The people at the next campsite
Are showing off their gun.
They say they have a new dog
They got him just last week.
A cougar ate the last one
Who apparently was meek.
The lake is full of parasites,
Perhaps they ate the fish.
Vacation time next year
Maybe I'll get my wish.
While everyone else goes camping,
Off having all that fun,
I'll head off to a resort
And soak me up some sun.
p.s. based on true events
written Aug.10/2010 ,by Francine Roberts
entered in Constance's "Why oh Why" contest
There's something funny in most things you see
It's all about how you look at it
A guy falling on his ass slipping on a banana peel
Is funny coz you weren't hurt a bit
Sure can't believe I just said that dear friends
Usually more caring than that
Although there's this one time I was just a wee tike
Climbed a tree and dropped our cat
Nearly laughed my sadistic young head off then
As Miss Kitty landed on all fours
So Miss Kitty Kat had the last laugh after all
Cruelty is something she abhors
Another time was walking with this sweetie
Suddenly she was no longer beside me
Walked smack dab into this crotch high post
Doubled over I laughed till I peed
Seems other's misfortunes are funny to me
Sadistic is a good word to use
But in my own defence I'm still a nice guy
It's basically always my muse
© Jack Ellison 2014
Chorus
Banks! Banks! Let us all do away with banks
And their dirty tricks and their silly pranks
Banks! Banks! They mean very little to me
If I was the king all banks will be history
If I was the king all banks will be history
If I was the king all banks will be history
Verse One
Banks are stingy
Banks are greedy
They steal from the needy
Banks never give but they love to take
If your friend is a bank
He will rob you before you wake
Only fools bail out the banks
Because I will rather take my money
They sold me worthless shares when my day was sunny
With the hope that one day I will lick from the bank’s honey
Now my day is rainy and I don’t think it is funny
I would never buy those shares I rather buy an Easter bunny
Only foolish kings bail out the banks
I rather bail out a pauper
The economy is going bad
While my people are left to suffer
Beware of the banks and the evil that they do
Today it is me but tomorrow it may be you
Chorus
Banks! Banks! Let us all do away with banks
And their dirty tricks and their silly pranks
Banks! Banks! They mean very little to me
If I was the king all banks will be history
If I was the king all banks will be history
If I was the king all banks will be history
Verse Two
Bank! Banks! They can never be your friend
Today they are collecting your money
But you are broke
They say see you later Sunny
Beware! Beware! Beware!
When a bank tells you sign here
They will take everything you have
Including your underwear
Is it your bit of filthy magic?
To trade with a bank may be tragic
Shrewd little goldsmith demanding for gold
And any item of value
Or anything he could see or hold
Bald headed money lenders demanding for a pound of flesh
You can take the meat from his cheek
But remember that no blood must spill
Banks don’t care they will rather kill
Take off his damn head off with a sharp edged steel
Deducting money from my account bill bill bill
Banks are the biggest thieves because the love to steal
Banks destroy the economy and they never heal
Banks will charge you money for a rotten potato peel
Banks! I hate banks!
They say can I borrow you some money
I say no thanks
Banks! Banks! Let us all do away with banks
And their dirty tricks and their silly pranks
Banks! Banks! They mean very little to me
If I was the king all banks will be history
If I was the king all banks will be history
If I was the king all banks will be in misery
In life, we must protect ourselves
From harm, disease and pain,
With seat belts, sunblock, bug spray
And umbrellas for the rain.
Alarms give peace of mind in case
Some burglars are about
And wearing masks convinces us
The virus is kept out.
In many sports a helmet
Is required to be worn
And knee or elbow pads make sure
No ligaments are torn.
We pay insurance premiums
To head off a disaster
And save up for the future
Which, these days, keeps coming faster.
We plan and try to be prepared
For all we can expect,
But life may toss a curve ball
Against which we can’t protect.