Long Funnyevil Poems
Long Funnyevil Poems. Below are the most popular long Funnyevil by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Funnyevil poems by poem length and keyword.
In Defense of the Witch of the West
By Elton Camp
In her, nobody sees any good
But maybe they really should.
Cut some slack for the poor old soul
Criticized for what’s not in her control.
A good place to begin
Is the color of her skin.
Who of us can rightly say
Why it’s green that way?
Shame on all of those
Who ridicule her nose.
It is a most terrible creature
Who mocks a physical feature
Is it some kind of sin
To have a pointed chin?
A wart on the face
Is not a big disgrace
No use her to be urging
To see a plastic surgeon.
Maybe she likes her looks just fine.
If so, then why should others mind?
But it is only fair to say
She needs a new couturier.
Styling sense she does lack
Always wearing basic black
Seems no good reason that
She must wear a pointy hat.
It would be wrong not to confess
More like Glinda she should dress.
And it couldn’t be much trouble
Instead of a broom, ride a bubble
She is seldom held to be a dear
Because of how she does appear
But does it actually seem to be fair
For such things, title “Wicked” bear?
The day that most of us would rue
If not judged mainly by what we do.
Partners in Dorothy's crime came to be
Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion—an evil three
The witch could no longer show pity
As they came near to Emerald City
When before the Wizard they did stand
He made the most dire and cruel demand
To get my help, you must pass this test:
Get the broom of the Witch of the West
Dorothy was the first to admit
Try that and she will have a fit.
But we will go there and try.
So what if witch has to die?
So with murder in her evil heart,
Toward the castle she did depart
Witch of the west we must commend
Since her domain she tried to defend
Undeterred, the four continued to hassle
The woman in her home, her own castle.
In most dire treachery Dorothy then dealt
She threw water and caused her to melt.
Maybe it was an accident, but still
It was second person she did kill.
It is surely a totally safe bet
The murders she didn’t regret
Witch’s servants whom she gave jobs
Laughed at her death rather than sobs.
The poor witch had lived much alone
Then all rejoiced when she was gone.
[slow rap]
I have to tell you all the evil that lurks
More terrifying than that fellow named Lurch
There’s a plan to make us trust our TVs
And the one who runs it is the evil Aunt Bee
She made us think that Andy Griffith’s in charge
She made us think that Barney Fife is a card
She stayed back running it all quiet-ly
Now TV is a member of your Fam-i-ly
You ever notice how she goes through a scene?
She shuffles through it and she don’t even blink
She’s dedicated to enslaving our race
Because Bee is a V from outer space
Bee is the V who’s hunting us now
Bee is the V who’s taking us down
Bee is the V who’s hunting us now
She looks like a toad, but she’s really a reptile
She made us think that these were wholesome flicks
Something that you could entrust to your kids
Her pickles are made with kerosene
Lip-smackin’ tasty if you’re a V
She’s alive and well now on her mother ship
She has our planet in her alien grip
Now our world is her hunting ground
She’s twenty feet now and weighs two thousand pounds
She made us humans learn to trust our TVs
Now she rips our limbs off and she eats them like wings
I guess that’s what they call a farewell to arms
So ponder that next time you look at the stars