The Evil In Mayberry

[slow rap]

I have to tell you all the evil that lurks
More terrifying than that fellow named Lurch
There’s a plan to make us trust our TVs
And the one who runs it is the evil Aunt Bee

She made us think that Andy Griffith’s in charge
She made us think that Barney Fife is a card
She stayed back running it all quiet-ly
Now TV is a member of your Fam-i-ly

You ever notice how she goes through a scene?
She shuffles through it and she don’t even blink
She’s dedicated to enslaving our race
Because Bee is a V from outer space

Bee is the V who’s hunting us now
Bee is the V who’s taking us down
Bee is the V who’s hunting us now
She looks like a toad, but she’s really a reptile

She made us think that these were wholesome flicks
Something that you could entrust to your kids
Her pickles are made with kerosene
Lip-smackin’ tasty if you’re a V

She’s alive and well now on her mother ship
She has our planet in her alien grip
Now our world is her hunting ground
She’s twenty feet now and weighs two thousand pounds

She made us humans learn to trust our TVs
Now she rips our limbs off and she eats them like wings
I guess that’s what they call a farewell to arms
So ponder that next time you look at the stars

Copyright © | Year Posted 2011



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 7/23/2012 12:18:00 PM
Is the mother ship named Disneyland? Love it! Congrats on the selection. daver
Login to Reply
Date: 5/6/2011 4:47:00 PM
Wow! Great satire here, David. It's so nice to see you posting again. Aunt Bee is kind of like Betty White to me. There's something that makes you want to love them. Who knows, maybe there really is a bizarre conspiracy taking place and the aliens have taken over our broadcasting system. Very clever, original and amusing. Best wishes, Carolyn
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetics
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Hide Ad