The Evil In Mayberry

[slow rap] I have to tell you all the evil that lurks More terrifying than that fellow named Lurch There’s a plan to make us trust our TVs And the one who runs it is the evil Aunt Bee She made us think that Andy Griffith’s in charge She made us think that Barney Fife is a card She stayed back running it all quiet-ly Now TV is a member of your Fam-i-ly You ever notice how she goes through a scene? She shuffles through it and she don’t even blink She’s dedicated to enslaving our race Because Bee is a V from outer space Bee is the V who’s hunting us now Bee is the V who’s taking us down Bee is the V who’s hunting us now She looks like a toad, but she’s really a reptile She made us think that these were wholesome flicks Something that you could entrust to your kids Her pickles are made with kerosene Lip-smackin’ tasty if you’re a V She’s alive and well now on her mother ship She has our planet in her alien grip Now our world is her hunting ground She’s twenty feet now and weighs two thousand pounds She made us humans learn to trust our TVs Now she rips our limbs off and she eats them like wings I guess that’s what they call a farewell to arms So ponder that next time you look at the stars