The Evil In Mayberry
[slow rap]
I have to tell you all the evil that lurks
More terrifying than that fellow named Lurch
There’s a plan to make us trust our TVs
And the one who runs it is the evil Aunt Bee
She made us think that Andy Griffith’s in charge
She made us think that Barney Fife is a card
She stayed back running it all quiet-ly
Now TV is a member of your Fam-i-ly
You ever notice how she goes through a scene?
She shuffles through it and she don’t even blink
She’s dedicated to enslaving our race
Because Bee is a V from outer space
Bee is the V who’s hunting us now
Bee is the V who’s taking us down
Bee is the V who’s hunting us now
She looks like a toad, but she’s really a reptile
She made us think that these were wholesome flicks
Something that you could entrust to your kids
Her pickles are made with kerosene
Lip-smackin’ tasty if you’re a V
She’s alive and well now on her mother ship
She has our planet in her alien grip
Now our world is her hunting ground
She’s twenty feet now and weighs two thousand pounds
She made us humans learn to trust our TVs
Now she rips our limbs off and she eats them like wings
I guess that’s what they call a farewell to arms
So ponder that next time you look at the stars
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