Long Fraidy Poems
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it's as good an apology
as I'll ever get. Red-handed
is a hard spot to be,
but you deleted it quick.
Although it had been there
since March of '24,
which just means your speed
was relative to matters of impending
consequence, not conscience.
Rest assured as inertia, I think you got it
before anyone could clock the line item
pixelating into oblivion,
the disappearing act of a fraidy-cat magician.
The irony of its genre being in your specialty
wasn't something I had planned,
but I didn't hate it.
Relax.
Your secret's still safe with me,
being as you acted so quickly
putting it all out there for me to see.
In other words, I saw you,
what I already knew, but made me
nauseated to confirm,
it was only when you were scared that someone
you think you've impressed
might go looking for the X, did you scurry.
Sit with that.
A poet looking to publish anywhere
has only their reputation.
And it wouldn't take a Sherlock Holmes
or a forensic metadata scientist
to resurrect your offense;
it feels like this is something to remember.
My greatest wish for you,
because of course you have your hand out,
is that you self-reflect, forever more keeping
my name out of your mouth,
off your fingertips.
Halloween night, a slender flapping scarecrow,
With the remorseless wind, he's doing a tango,
An owl is hooting, and large yellow eyes glow,
A witch in black is cackling, in deeper shadow.
Jack-o'-lantern grinning wildly in the window,
Dark night carries sounds of a ghostly bellow,
Blind bats are flying, a yellow moon is mellow,
There seem to be monsters wherever you go!
The wind is moaning, like one in great sorrow,
Somewhere a cat screeches, in feline soprano,
A man runs rapidly, beyond fragrant meadow,
As if being chased, but by what, I don't know.
Written on October 18, 2021
For: Halloween Monorhyme Contest Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Caren Krutsinger
imagine any haunted house to have:
Creaking stairways
Whispering blinds
Creepy doorways
Blood-curdling sounds
Spooky cob-webs
Ominous darkness
Ghastly shadows
Dreadful loneliness
Spine tingling shrieks
Owls hooting
Things that make
Your skin crawl
Foreboding terror
An eerie silence
yet squeaky rats
A threatening suspense
with fluttering bats.
Thus a place crawling with,
oversized gnats
scurrying brats
and all kinds of scary things lurking about
except for scaredy-cats .
Like me of the fraidy cats
Tell me would you dare to venture
Into such a house
For a halloweenish midnight adventure ?
(Ok happened to pass an allegedly haunted abandoned house that most people don't want to venture in and I enjoyed scarifying myself thinking about it in the poetic way above for fun)
YIKES, I'M ALREADY SCARED.!
My nerve cells are ceasing my thoughts
My breath is barricading my life
My limbs are trembling
My heart is hovering in fear
Oh mommy! I am being victimized by me.
The earth is sinking under me
The sky is falling over my head
The compressive strength of my bones is diminishing day by day
The muscularity of my body is dwindling night and day
Oh mommy! I am being killed by me.
I am a coward lying lifeless among the lively fears
I am a yellow belly scared of the bright orange sun
I am a namby pamby soul shivering under the blanket of cold winter night
I am a fraidy cat snuggling in the sleeping bag of life
Oh mommy! I am being slaughtered by me.
Drag me away from this dangerous dragon
Get me out of these pinching hours of darkness
Hold me tight and embrace me in your arms
Give me solace and help me revive my true being.
I want to smile
I want to sing
I want to jump
I want to shout
I want to breathe
I want to live
Oh mommy! I want my life back.
Feint faint "Fake" no nor'easter
If putsch comes to shove,
aye ain't no doggone fraidy cat
nor chicken little
fearing coup d'état,
yours truly simply
risk averse, and more exact,
he stays sequestered
within these four walls,
cuz tis safest inside this flat
always... mein kampf,
I remember when fertilization begat
after nine months in utero...
ah dat womb dar full habitat
i.e. uterus cradled humanity, whereat
teeming bajillions primates
peopling planet Earth
couples made lovey dovey after spat
(which species among
other flotsam and jetsam),
got shot out (think) analogous
muzzle loaded gat
excellent marksman aimed
then squirted packed heat hot
as summer temperature
gets within Gujarat
recorded courtesy, thee
oldest functioning thermostat,
albeit microcosmic primordial vat
testy sea men don
(May comb hairy
gah great again) conical hat.
I surmise proto humans
especially storied hall
(conjured in Peer Gynt
by Edvard Grieg
of mountain king)
trumpeted, tooted thwacked,
and announced presence
courtesy posterior primal mating call,
which vibrant cheekiness heard all
around the mulberry bush to Gaul
hmm... maybe e'en hot air
inspired Marc Chagall,
while sitting atop porcelain throne,
nonetheless scandalous
rectal blasts methinks help explain fall
of Rome, whereby noxious
generated silent but deadly nauseating
noisome pall mall
felled friend and foe alike
analogous on minuscule
scale to Chernobyl
level 7 nuclear accident
also linkedin, when
Polar Vortex doth stall
across avast swath planet Earth
forcing quick thinkers to marshall,
what (mathers) matters
such as... antique pinball
machines worth a mint,
a to install.
A couple nights ago
(today being August 4th, 2021)
while walking around the parking lot after dark
over yonder shrieking catcall heard - hark
at first methought, a baby experienced distress,
I immediately scratched that notion
far fetched as sound out the beak of bewailing lark
but Highland Manor apartments
generally quiet as cemetery park.
Truth be told yours truly an overgrown fraidy cat
who naturally sought to turn sharp
on his heels and beat path
for domicile entrance within seconds flat.
Hypothesization generated imagination
to conjure fate worse than death
predicated after huffing and puffing
(pertaining to above mentioned activity)
gasping for my last breath
praying to dog to escape
versus being figurative cooked goose
cowardliness quickly dismissed lame excuse
to avoid become laughingstock
with addled pate stuck within noose.
Maybe ferocious feral rabid animal on the loose
oh if only seen courtesy Doctor Seuss
what with me with hair raised straight up
and/or the wild beast
charging faster than lightning greased
impossible mission to call a truce
where creature waggled her/his tail
analogous to derailed caboose
prompting joker within me
to splutter what the deuce,
not wanting to discover vis a vis
common denominator most least
cuz mortal kombat witnessed bloody bloke
pronouncing one lapsed (Aloe there)
spidery legged wandering Jew deceased.
Forsooth
aforementioned scenario fabrication of truth
insipid since contents (reasonably rhyming materiel)
devoid remotely labeled uncouth
fiction employed to entice reading poem
tastefully accomplished akin to wine
knowingly spiked with brandy
infused with herbs and spices
such sweetened drink constitutes
one of two varieties regarding
never drinking teetotaler vermouth;
red (sweet), which originally
hails from Italy, and white (dry)
which first appeared in France.
A bug who loved to doodle
was floating on a noodle.
He had to get some sunscreen;
the sun was getting brutal.
He could not reach the lotion;
he needed a commotion
to interrupt the pristine,
make waves just like an ocean.
He saw a pretty spider;
he sidled up beside her
to ask if she would help him
because she was a glider.
She glided to a lady
Who was a big fat ‘fraidy.
A-shriekin’ and a-yelpin’,
she made the pool all wavy.
Our bug packed his caboodle,
then hopped out off his noodle.
It seems that he was last seen
astride a golden doodle.
So if you don’t want cancer,
and you’re a take-a-chancer,
a long-haired dog romancer,
doodles may be your answer.