Long Cut the cheese Poems

We are the days that we’ve become. 
moments dripping gifted from
the lounging clocks in rolling melted sightings, 
given by the gifted madness of a soulmate’s fightings. 

Our lives wrapped up in phrases coined
in books like,...

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Got GAS--- Flatulence


Got me sum delicate tummy
Ate too MUCH late at night
After eight-thirty  for Pete’s sake----
Guess I should not have ate
That cabbage and raw egg cinnamon-shake
NOW MY STOMACH ACHCES
 Like the horn of auto...

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What are they doing? I cautiously asked.
The magnificent mighty-mighty-cheesiest-cheese dance, she whispered, and do not get too close.  
Frenzied children were throwing each other on the ground, dragging friends around, making trails.
Throwing cheese at...

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Little Jack Marty 
He was a smarty 
Sitting in his second grade online class 
He developed an urge to pass some gas 
When it came out of Little Marty’s shell 
It had that pumping smell...

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To all you married men out there 
Who hate your mother-in-law 
Let me ease your pain a bit 
For mine's the worst of all 

She picks her nose in public 
And her finger carries the...

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it was starting to rain on the night that we first decided
 the chance to roll the dice
 my birthday cake was ready
 so was the famous spaghetti

 when all of a sudden someone let...

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Cutting Cheese

There once was a bureaucrat
Whose body made sounds where he sat
It would be underhanded
Were he reprimanded
Without a complete list of stats

So his supervisor kept up a log
Of each time he let out a fog
It’s...

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On my honor I will do my best
To be real quiet, and not a pest
I’ll smear some butter on a crispy roll
And let you dip it in my soup bowl.

I won’t dress up seeking flattery
Unless...

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When nature calls away from home
you need to find a public throne
a place that's clean to spread your cheeks
one that flushes without plumbing leaks
not at an outhouse or a remote latrine 
they're so disgusting and...

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Mama always said,
before you cut the cheese,
open the windows first, would you please
Or step outside into a stiff breeze
Flatulently speaking,
cutting the cheese is an art form
If done correctly, and the timing's right ---
it will give...

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It was time for our annual cookout
That's when my wife asked me please
"If you get the time and you don't mind,
Could I ask you to please cut the cheese?"

I have to admit I was puzzled
I...

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Oh Jeeze!
He wants a poem about cheese,
This guy is hard to please,
I hope he likes what he sees.

I don't know about you,
But many people like Bleu,
Wait! Take a step back,
You say it's got to be...

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A short dissertation on a natural phenomenon
That takes place many times every day
Sometimes at the most inopportune moments
Like in a theatre at a Shakespearian play

If the emission has a really pungent odour
Folks will certainly notice...

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Let me tell you a story
About man's best friend, the dog
It's wrapped in a world of mystery
And maybe a gas-like fog

You see I'm a dog person
But my wife prefers a cat
That's how this whole thing...

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WHO CUT THE CHEESE
I CAN SEE YOUR PANTS SHAKE
BY YOUR KNEE

WHO DID IT AND RAN
COME ON NOW THAT IS
NOT COOL MAN

WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT
CHECK THEN DRAWS 
CHECK THEM DRAWS
BECAUSE OH MY GOD I FELT...

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