Long Cut the cheese Poems
Long Cut the cheese Poems. Below are the most popular long Cut the cheese by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Cut the cheese poems by poem length and keyword.
On my honor I will do my best
To be real quiet, and not a pest
I’ll smear some butter on a crispy roll
And let you dip it in my soup bowl.
I won’t dress up seeking flattery
Unless I win the freakin’ lottery
Then I’ll spread the cash tween kith and kin
In the hope they won’t “remember when”.
But then again, on a positive note
I might just take the money and buy a boat
Pack my bags and head out to sea
With a captain and first mate who’ll both be me.
However, if I do not win
I’ll cut the cheese razor thin
Season it with butter and thyme
Wash it down with the same old whine.
Set the clock for five AM
Struggle through my morning swim
And knowing that my chance is thin
Play the same number again.
John G. Lawless
©12/13/2022
A short dissertation on a natural phenomenon
That takes place many times every day
Sometimes at the most inopportune moments
Like in a theatre at a Shakespearian play
If the emission has a really pungent odour
Folks will certainly notice the foul breeze
However, the criteria is it must be silent
As you inadvertently cut the cheese
An essence of chutney is actually not bad
If accompanied by a hint of geraniums
But these highfaluting people must be warned
It can sometimes damage their craniums
So that's all I will say about this taboo subject
Hope you enjoyed it as I did from the start
Please don't call it a vulgar flatulence
Just call it by its happy name... fart!
Little Jack Marty
He was a smarty
Sitting in his second grade online class
He developed an urge to pass some gas
When it came out of Little Marty’s shell
It had that pumping smell
Hearing the tiger roar as it ripped out the young boy’s door
Watching his computer screen he saw Abigail studying to be a teen Queen
Crossing the street
The smell did travel tangy and sweet
It went under the door without a word
Stairs it crept
Past the room where last night Abigail slept
As the aroma approached
Little Jack Marty watched Abigail and said, “She is toast”
Taking a whiff Abigail straightened up very stiff
Her eyes bulged and face turned green with a tinge of white
Due to the smell that was airy and light
Typing away Little Jack Marty did say,
“You have been visited by the toot toot fairy”
In which she replied, “Oh you are so scary”
“Little Jack Marty did you cut the cheese?”
“I am alone in my room and I do as I please.”
He typed back about the environmental attack
Suddenly the teacher popped on the screen looking stern and mean
“What are you two doing anything to do with schooling?”
The teacher did ask with no need for a cut the cheese mask.
Looking into the camera Little Jack Marty said that he was sorry,
“Yes, I cut the cheese then disturbed the peace, I will now be quiet and will not start a panic riot, carry on with the online class while I hold my gas.”
Smiling the teacher was impressed
When Little Jack Marty confessed
About his too tee
That was a beauty
What are they doing? I cautiously asked.
The magnificent mighty-mighty-cheesiest-cheese dance, she whispered, and do not get too close.
Frenzied children were throwing each other on the ground, dragging friends around, making trails.
Throwing cheese at their parents, who were laughing, nervously, in an unrelaxed way.
Their grandparents were at the picnic tables too, discussing whose offspring’s offspring was the cutest,
The smartest, the most cordial, the happiest, the best.
A flying cheese sandwich went winging past Grandpa Joe’s nose. He put his hand up and caught it with a baseball mitt that was covered with cheese.
“You aren’t eating that!” Grandma said, sternly, but then he cut the cheese
And pointed at grandma, and everyone started laughing so hard,
They forgot to watch the children, who were now covering their slightly annoyed pets with cheese puffs, cheese sprinkles, and cheese sauce.
“Not in his eyes!” one of the parents yelled.
Someone else cut the cheese, and it all began again. They announced there was a tie for cheese queen,
So two of the grandmas began to wrestle on top of a hunk of a cheeseburger for the title, which was difficult as there was so much slippery, sliding cheese sauce on the ground.
The cheese queen contest was a tie when they both ended up gloriously covered, and still came up
Laughing. Another successful Mighty-Mighty-Cheesiest-Cheese Festival in Cheese-ville!
Unfortunately, they were so cheesy, the cats got them one by one as they left the mouse hole.
The good news is, their pet ants, cautiously slunk away in the spatter of cheese, unscathed.