Long Copier Poems

I wrote a sad but true urban legend called “Dillen and the DMV” last week.
Here follows an update.

Background Review:

One of my health care employees, Dillen, has wicked ADD, borderline intelligence, not qualifying for disability supports,...

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Welcome to society
Where you feel worthless and small.
You are judged for being ordinary
And judged for being different
Than everyone else.
If I have the same shoes as someone
I’m a copier
If I'm wearing something others think is ugly,
Apparently,...

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The trouble with idiot lights,
You see, it’s a problem
That goes, perhaps,
Farther than me.

There's abundant ignorance
That floats in the bog
In a kingdom where machines
Can measure breath’s grog.

More than vast numbers
Aggregating in crime,
There's a feeling that
What is...

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I’m not sure I understand my boss
He does it all and credits me
He makes the plan, and says I did
He works the plan, and states it’s me
Writes the report, and crowns it mine
My mysterious Boss!

He...

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NATO


The secretary general of NATO is a Norwegian 
and as most Norwegian's pro-American
and probably selected for his fidelity
He is a tall thin man, likes to run in the woods
and has been observed saluting them while talking
to his...

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I told Jane since she's no longer with us and I don't think Derek will happen this way again, especially since he'll be moving to L.A. soon. 

I told him that day of the copier,...

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Some say I'm arrogant, the rest say I'm cocky,
But the funniest thing is that no one said it right to me,
They talk behind my back like it has at least one ear,
And as soon as...

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Management asked if I could evaluate one of the employees, and as that happens to be within my noted abilities and well within the scope of the hotel's agenda, 

I concurred with the specific understanding...

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I met with Mr. Eastwood for the first time with both of us, and I know he's savvy about people's character.

I would rate Clint as, par for the course as Pebble Beach is noted for,...

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In the ultimate heaven true peace you'll find, when things of
This world are left behind, no lying tounge will you there
Bind, no false teaching, or drunkeness, unless; of Gods
Spirit in kind' no more theiving or...

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Revenge of the Office Copier

By Elton Camp

I started to make copies of an important report.
Just as I commenced, it sent a printed retort.
“Though I don’t contain a single strand of DNA,
I deserve respect and have...

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A Message From the Copy Machine

By Elton Camp

I placed my document in the feed.
Told the Xerox how many I need.
I had to struggle hard to stifle a shout
When I saw what the copier sent out.

“Hello...

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By Elton Camp

I placed my document in the feed.
Told the Xerox how many I need.

I had to struggle hard to stifle a shout
When I saw what the copier sent out.

“Hello there, dear, my name’s Roxanne
I...

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arrive in morning
   descending gloom 
inboxes full 
    deadlines loom 
    
insufficient wage 
   big workload 
crazy colleagues 
   boss a rogue ...

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I have a good charade
I can make a step from a stumble
No need to be afraid
Here in the human jungle
When you’ve a good charade
If you’ve a good charade 

The tigers will not pounce on you
If...

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The maddening click of key strokes
The shrilling of the phones
The crunch of crumbling paper balls
Slices to the bone
The dull humming of the copier
Four million paper clips
The smell of tacky wite out 
So sick of all...

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