Long Conker Poems

Long Conker Poems. Below are the most popular long Conker by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Conker poems by poem length and keyword.


Feckless and Reckless

When will Baz..Ben & their men ken..learn

Despite or to spite the "has beens" concern

Trouble to rubble only listen to their bubble

That Bazball trite shi*e they're always right

Be true to thine self.. the cover drive shelf

Lack that knack & gift to swiftly shift back 

On pacy racy turfs where the conker surfs

Play it late and don't hit it on the up mate

Wafts of wishing fishing on the 5th stump

Down in the dump chump will then flump 

Snag trumped by the ball that did rag jump

Nicked to slip or off the glove it did thump

Rascals debacles and wickets castled slump

Head more pizzazz..razzmattazz did gazump

Smoother purer surer bravura groover jazz

Baz did kowtow to an Aussie..now take a bow

OZ's wizard of the wood blizzard was that good

Y'all we should clearly really call it "TRAV or is that CHAV BALL !
Form: Rhyme


The Cut-Out-And-Keep Guide To Trees

the silver birch
it likes to hide
so as you search 
at eventide
you find it there with many friends
playing poker through the night

the common oak 
a wise old man
an aging folk 
since time began
grandfathers of the forest they
speak myth and folklore when they can

the sycamore
with helicopter seeds
sets out its store
among the weeds
then grows to be big and strong
from people’s picnics on which it feeds

the horse chestnut
is the conker tree
the children’s favourite
but too spikey 
until they are ready later on
and why kids were late home for tea

the yew
is old
and grew
so slow
its age is in millennia 
and battles from the archer’s bow

the hawthorn
its blossom white
and at dawn
as if it snowed all night
then all too soon the white has gone
a desperate case of bad stage fright

the conifer
fir, spruce and pine
a regular
likes mead and wine
to keep it warm in winter then
comes into homes at Christmas time

Premium Member Conkers

The woody musty note of fallen leaves
hints that summer’s gone, but no-one grieves;
at least not us schoolboys walking home
as we, those piles of chestnut leaves would comb.
Glossy brown gems inside their prickly husk
we searched for as the day turned into dusk;
if none were found among fallen leaves: a stone
a ball, a stick, into the tree was thrown.

Conkers in autumn, sport of playground kings;
horse chestnuts drilled and threaded upon strings,
in turn dangled like victims from a rope;
each swings his own with scarcely hidden hope
to smash their archfoe’s conker into pieces
thus the value of their own increases.

It goes like this, each day for quite a while,
bruised hands and wrists accepted with a smile.
One day it stops, unwritten, but seems right,
time to start preparing Guys for Bonfire Night.
Form: Couplet

Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy

Jimmy put the mighty back in Blighty

Our riper sniper

Viper and pied piper

Didn't want to budge

Depravity of sporting gravity


But given the nudge

So off he did trudge

Issue won't fudge

Still got a grudge


The king of swing..conker on a string

Chestnuts curve...swerve with such verve

You rarely see him hobble our wizard of wobble


Still wiry and fiery...fit as a fiddle so he can 

Continue his riddle out in the middle

Definitely more Harrods than Lidl


It seems unfair the flair.. his control in the air

Precision of a physician...our own homegrown musician 

Magician keeping alive a glorious past tradition


With his own fantastic rendition

But Selector Trifecta Sedition

Means we've seen the last edition


Humdinger....swinger...gunslinger

Bellicose blows..predicts & inflicts woes on his foes

Audacious soul...born to bowl 

Continues to rage..this sage you can't cage


Yearns to still be on the ultimate stage

Despite...or to slight...in spite of his age

Well why should it encumber..its only a number  


Like losing an olden golden friend

We will never ever see his like again

Final fix of his bag of tricks

Reminds me of the Matrix


Masterly plan of this remarkable man

So smooth..sublime

Divinely refined

In the groove..prime grace


Our forever adored Time Lord

Who could bend even space

Ah Mr Anderson

When I Was a Lad

When I was a lad about nine or ten
Summers were long school holidays great then
I played in our street we had so much fun
Me and my mates in the warm summer sun.

We felt really safe as we played in our street
We respected the bobby as he walked his beat
Cricket and football in the street we would play
My mate smashed a window we all ran away.

The girls played skipping with their hair in a bow
We would rather play fight , climb trees you know
We would play marbles and conkers make paper planes too
Me and my mates found plenty to do.

We even built a trolley using wheels from a pram
We chased all the girls they squeled as they ran
The days were so long much time to kill
I remember playing roly poly down that grassy hill.

We tried to build a raft with some oil drums tied to a big plank
We took it to the river guess what it sank
I had so much fun growing up as a lad
I was bit of a rascal but good times we all had.





Bobby is a slang word for a policeman
A trolley is like a gokart but made of wood
A conker grows on a Horse chestnut tree. You thread string through the conker stand facing 
another person with one and take turns hitting each others conker until one breaks off the 
string
Form: Rhyme


So sorry to see you go Mo


So sorry to see you go Mo

Tally ho & bravo but must let you know

Not being weird...you had a bigger beard 

Face more hirsute to boot than even WG Grace.


Gleaming beaming grin..streaming through thick and thin...

Joker scheming and memeing of jolly japes in manic scrapes 

Becomes a theme which actually factually shapes the team..


Huge heart but at the start...batting was his art

But got the ball to dart...a sneaky peak of freak tweak

Rev of Revs..runs would leak but could get the conker to squeak

Bunsen burner turner..utterly butterly unique

It went wrong not long after the Swann swansong

Lucky that plucky Mo came along

Should be defended as ended up our number 3 in history


Lyrical levers larruping lush cover drives

Ridiculously pretty on the eye...fragrant flair as fresh as glacial air.

Humility..civility..and fragility...a kinder...peaky blinder..Midlands nobility

No cobblers.. Mo has to be one of the finest lip and cherry

Wobblers to ever come from the city of Brum

Where he was born...bred and buttered


Rally the Mayor to not dilly dally

Name a street Moeen's Alley


Oh and just in case you didn't 

Hear in the first place...

Or history does somehow misplace

Mo the face of grace..elan..silky as lace.. 

Had a bigger beard  than even the feared

Revered and rather weird...WG Grace
Form: Rhyme

Reminiscing What a Big One

Reminiscing
Sitting here the sky is grey
Contemplating what to do today
I’ve read some poems this morning anew
They made me think of when I was with you
The love we shared on a grey morn like this
My heart I gave, you gave me a kiss
I spoke those words so hard to get out
I love you dearest, I wanted to shout
You took my words I had given to you
But you buried them away and I knew we were through
The tears slide down my cheeks now anew
I wish I could see you to say thank you
My heart I gave you when I was six
I didn’t know life played awful tricks
I never loved you I know that’s true now
You just had a bigger conker than me it was WOW!
I had a sixer you had a niner
You bragged about it even when it gave you a shiner
It flew off your string and hit you in the eye
I laughed till I wet myself, I don’t know why
Just sitting reminiscing on this cold grey day
Has made me smile with the memories, now so far away.

Written By Mandy Tams  17/02/2012
CONKERS# A childs game played by threading the seed from the horse chesnut tree ie:conker, on a piece of string then bashing the oponnents conker with it. The winner is termed by the amount of conkers they break, ie: oner,twoer three'er and so on.

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