Long Chomps Poems

JOE VERSUS THE RACCOON 
By Kate H. Stark


Each night ‘twas the same old proverbial shout. 
“Hey Joe, will you please take the garbage bags out?”

Joe sighed, rolled his eyes as he walked toward the door....

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Yes! As faithful followers of Jesus Christ only His redemptive love is able to cancel out The Critical Race Theory! The Black Lives Matter movement was opposed to the All Lives Matter movement. They never...

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We’d returned again to planet Muton to collect data from our camera/waterer and also to re-engineer it such that it wouldn’t break, because it was a spherical live sensor. And when I was walking with...

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Immeasurable maturation profoundly
transformed thy Shana Punim
within whose corporeal femininity
gravitas resonates and doth hum
whose unbelievable transition, now
follows the beat of her own drum

approximately four years ago,
thee second and youngest born
daughter didst squawk and crow
aforementioned fledging eagerly,
instinctively,...

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Oh Goddess, Little Debbie,
Queen of all Saturated Fat,
Sometime of Swiss, which is called Roll,
Now of the delightful Court of Nutty Bars,
I respectfully esteem your Zebra Cakes,
I salute your Cosmic Brownies
And I kiss your empty boxes...

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"I saw some road kill on my way over," she said.
She had a horse laugh. "Just a dumb raccoon," she added.
I leapt over the sink and slapped her, hard. 
Leaving my entire hand print on...

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An empty cigarette box is smiling at me with sadistic condemnation,
His snarled yellow teeth rattle inside the open box.
"You're out," he announces victoriousely,
"Replace me once more, child." 

The cardboard container commands what I must follow,
To...

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Around bushes, trees and pathways, race two lively squirrels 
Scurrying speedily up and down playing games of tag together
Spreading its shaggy tail one would sit up tall by taking a halt
Prying off caps, happily chomps...

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[I really must learn to read the contest’s rules
before writing the damned poem...
What follows is not twelve lines!]


It was a good morning until
My face was shoved under the grill
With only six lives left within me
This...

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Whenever I feel the dirge
Moments, days that pass without hope
My pleasure begins to emerge
The moment I pick up the old fishing pole

So much negativity is purged
When the bait lady smiles at me
This special day I...

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In the dead of winter,  
as the melted snow turns 
to ice, it is so cold
the rocks have teeth
and the logs perched 
above the river dangle 
long locks of icicle hair
in front of their...

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Gryposaurus monumentensis 
Gryposaurus monumentensis 
 
 
The herd came to the edge of the new forest the leader turned and almost 
humishly smiled at his flock like a deacon on a SUNDAY picnic day in...

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The Trump Card has been played and it quacks like a duck.
Having been fed the bread held in childish hands,
He chomps the welcoming gesture with a meek beakish pluck,
While pretending to satisfy his nurturers' demands.

From...

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There's a no tell motel
Just up the road a bit
It cherishes its secrets
Like a horse chomps on its bits

The rooms are small and squallid
With a queen size mattress strewn
Across the age worn carpet
That has stories...

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little town of Oomswarshcknullphillbelly                               ...

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