Long Bigfoot Poems
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Darkness seeps through stately pines,
outside this home-made, tar-paper shack.
It’s two AM, and I cannot sleep again,
so I gaze out into the black.
I feel a relaxing sense of peace,
and while it may be no normal thing,
I’ve always found the embrace of night
to be strangely comforting.
Came up with my brother and a mutual friend,
tomorrow is this year’s opening day.
The tree-stands have long been built,
waiting for deer to come their way.
My family’s owned the land fifty years,
grandpa built this three-room hut,
and he chose well because this land
has yielded some monster bucks.
I know every inch of the acreage,
all one hundred eighty-nine,
but night’s stillness brings me back
to a different place and time.
Starring into the darkness,
familiar landmarks shaded and gone,
makes you wonder what hides behind
every single leaf and frond.
Is Bigfoot lurking in the dim,
staring with almost-human eyes?
Is the ghost of a murdered pioneer
still haunting where he died?
Is a trapper dressed in furs about
to step out and hail the house?
Will an Indian come in to trade,
wanting blankets for fresh-killed grouse?
Will spirits of an ancient time
let loose with unearthly wails?
Will a forgotten hermit soon emerge
to tell us the old forest tales?
Does Wendigo stalk amongst the trees,
desperate for a taste of flesh?
Do skin-walkers wander endlessly,
unable to gain a needed rest?
These things were once very real,
when my eyes were only young.
Now they’re impossible to envision
after the rising of the sun.
But sometimes in the still of night,
when I come up to this place,
the legends and monsters walk again,
and it puts a smile upon my face.
By thirteen I was quite tall—
Five-foot seven—friends were small
Always tallest in my class
On school lines—was always last.
Friends were shorter, more petite
Always looked to size-up feet
Compare shoes, I do not fib
Was self-conscious—mine were big.
Their size five to seven, fine—
I was BigFoot! Mine was nine!
Teenage complex anguished me
BigFoot phobia, you see!
Later friends caught up with me
Height and feet grew handily
Soon size nine in grownup form
Looked upon as kind of norm.
Thinking back on “BigFoot” years
To fit in, drove me to tears!
Teenage stresses to compete—
Happy now with normal feet!
© Sandra M. Haight 2015
All Rights Reserved
~3rd Place~
Contest: BigFoot
Sponsor: Skat A
Judged: 05/07/2015
~Chasing Bigfoot~
Across the Bayou Waters
Into vast trails of wilderness
I follow a sound, a sullen scent
---footprints
He was out there,
hairy large and in charge
Drugs under the beastly moonlight
Heavy torrents swept me in
Deep, down and dark
Under a hidden den
Between the moon and stars
I gaze into a world unknown
A comparison of salt water and bonnets
Lord of the forest deep
Entrapped in a romantic secret sonnet
Over the corner in every shadow
Red Auburn hair, above a 12 foot pair
Daring to face the lone gallows
In one peek
I observe it was not made by men
The fear became excitement
It offered a moment to think
I don't know if it wants to injure me
It sniffs me repeatedly,
Smearing my skin with his nose
This type of behavior, this smell
Began to arouse my rose
Rough nails grip around my neck
Forest flavored lips
Unravelling a taste unhuman
The touch erupts and fills me with fear
Still, I long to linger near
Sunrise starts with a grin
Revolving around the mood
Upon his long coat of shrooms
Without fear I stroke his thick fur
Rough and sweet I repeat
Living or dying, I stay
To love the fear-driven inside
Day after day
Deep and gray, life fades
Then becomes elusive
11 years the sun hides
Dark eyes, hold me all night
This wild man, by the bedside
Cries from the woods before sunset
I follow----
Somewhere behind hidden walls
The woods stand tall
Flowers welt from this burning love
My heart owned by the sasquatch
Though rapid dreams and streams,
I scream
Of Big Foot and I
By: PD
...The bigfoot poked out again the next day
with the little one not that far behind,
came lunch time Julio put out apples,
before each he would stop and make the sign.
He did this for days, an entire week,
each day the two creatures came for the snack,
then one day he kept the fruit in the bag,
the beasts got anxious for what they now lacked.
The older sasquatch was agitated,
but Julio just made the sign with his hands,
the beast hooted and growled, still upset,
though the little one seemed to understand.
He tried his best to mimic the motion,
so Julio tossed an apple to him,
the mother then noticed, she did the same,
so he gave one to her with a grin.
From that day onwards, when on his lunch break,
he’d make a sign and point at an object,
the creatures learned fast, and got their rewards,
even seemed eager for what they’d learn next.
For many weeks this pattern repeated,
until one day Julio ran out of spruce,
the crews would come soon with trailer and truck
to pick up the trunks and put them to use.
Julio figured that the job was done,
so he went home to rest up for a bit,
didn’t think he’d see a sasquatch again,
until one night when his dog threw a fit.
He walked to the back door, where the dog barked,
determined to see what caused all the fuss,
in his backyard he saw shaggy, black forms,
in disbelief he shook his head, awe-struck.
The two bigfoots had followed him on back,
and they signed for him to come talk to them,
with a shrug he went out, signed to them ‘hello,’
and like that the friendship started again.
It’s even said that they learned some syntax,
and pronouns, the younger one claimed a name;
that the juvenile outpaced the mother,
the plasticity of youth in his brain.
For twenty years they lived near Julio,
until the female passed on from old age,
two years later cancer took the logger,
no one knowing the breakthroughs he’d made.
Now I know that this tale must come as a shock,
most didn’t think sasquatches could exist,
but now that you speak of who gets credit
I had to come forwards and insist
That all remember the lonely logger,
that you put his name on the walls.
Julio Jones taught my mother to sign,
that’s how I can even talk to you at all.
"Give Me Your Tired" posted 7 Jun 2021
i'd join the morning person's club except their meetings start before noon
early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and beat
they make clocks to tell me when to get up i need one to tell me why
a bicycle cannot stand up by itself because it is two-tired
my wife got tired of hearing my zodiak puns it taurus apart
teen's concept of an early bird: one who wakes up at the break of noon
[humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown]
"Just Asking (part III)" posted 14 Jun 2021
wow, is that an optical illusion or am I just seeing things?
why does the sun on the raisin bran cereal box wear sunglasses?
why are wise men and wise guys considered opposites of each other?
when styrofoam companies ship their product what do they pack it in?
if swimming is so great for the figure then how do you explain whales?
how does the person who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?
[humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown]
"It's All In A Name" posted 21 Jun 2021
i visited a new dating website in Prague they call it ~ Czech Mate ~
there's a new contraceptive on the market it's called ~ i kid you not ~
my vote for the best beauty parlor name of all time ~ curl up and dye ~
good name for an ultra-conservative fashion boutique ~ clothes minded ~
maybe you shouldn't name your brand new restaurant ~ eater's digest ~
perhaps this plumbing company is worth a gamble ~flush or full house~
[humor attribution: #2 and #5 Edmo Snord, #3 and #6 are actual company names I've seen, others found online of unknown origin]
"Random Brain Guano (part III)" posted 28 Jun 2021
children are hereditary if your folks had none, neither will you
the best remedy for your bad memory is milk of amnesia
buy your valentine a bikini it's the least you can do for her
i tried making a belt out of watches it was a big waist of time
my toddler kept chewing on electrical cords so I grounded him
sometimes Bigfoot is confused with Sasquatch Yeti doesn't seem to mind
Bigfoot may have evolved from an extinct specie of ape known as Gigantopithecus.
That is, if Bigfoot does indeed actually exist.
Gigantopithecus was a knuckle walker like the great apes of today,
and I see no reason why it couldn't have evolved into a bi pedal way.
Gigantopithecus fossils have been found throughout Europe and Asia.
It could have very well have crossed what is now known as the bering strait
without getting its feet wet into a very, very ancient America.
So yes, I'd say it's very possible that Bigfoot does actually exist.
Bigfoot could very well be a descendant of Gigantopithecus.
If you are out there Bigfoot, heed my words seriously.
Keep yourself in hiding or in a laboratory you'll be.
Dedicated to Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen (Your blog post inspired me to write this piece)
BigFoot needed a date
He needed a damsel at least six feet tall
He thought it would be great
If she accompanied him to the Ball
So he looked online for a match
For a gal who would suit Sasquatch
Though he looked all around
No matches were found
But he searched through the night
Until dawn broke its light
Then finally he found a dream girl
Who would go with him to the Ball
She dressed in a gown with necklace of pearls
And indeed she was quite tall
BigFoot, dressed in his 3 piece suit
Danced with the girl of his dreams
Everyone wondered how such a brute
Could get a girl so cute
But as the full moon arose
She grew fur on her nose
And fangs from her mouth did protrude
As she howled at the moon that she viewed
But BigFoot didn't mind in the least
That Beauty had turned to a beast!
----
Joseph May
I
Where, oh where is Virginia Dare*,
No one can find her anywhere.
Her disappearance is the very worst,
I guess that's what comes from being the first.
*Virginia Dare was born on Aug. 18, 1587 in Roanoke Colony, Virginia, the first child born in the New World to English parents. Both the colony and all its inhabitants…80 men, 17 women, and 11 children…disappeared mysteriously, and no traces have ever been found.
II
Amelia Earhart* flew away
And hasn't been seen
To this very day.
Her goal was to make it to Paris in style,
But got only as far as a small desert isle.
*Presumed to have crashed on Howland Island in the Central Pacific Ocean, Amelia disappeared on July 2, 1937. According to a 2015 news article, her remains may have been found and identified.
III
And Jimmy Hoffa*,
Of course it's just hearsay,
Is fertilizing a field
In New York or New Jersey.
The reason for doing him in was excused,
The mob made him an offer,
And Jimmy refused.
*He was heavily involved with the mob-controlled Teamsters Union. He disappeared on July 30, 1975.
IV
The mystery in London
That continues a gripper,
Scotland Yard still doesn't know
Who was Jack the Ripper.*
Was he maybe a royal, a doctor, a rounder?
At least now the prostitutes are all sleeping sounder.
*He terrorized London from 1888-1891. the term "Ripperology" was coined to describe the study and analyses of the Ripper cases. There are over 100 theories about his identity.
V
Another conundrum
Hashed o'er many a snifter,
Concerning Sasquatch, or Bigfoot*,
Is he a myth or a mythter?
It's widely agreed that he's really quite scary,
His general description is big, tall, and hairy.
*We can also add Yeti to the list.
VI
Last, but not least,
There's the Anasazi.*
Did they self-destruct
Like a kamikaze?
Or did they decide to quit stone-age labors
And move to the city like most of their neighbors?
*This is the historical Navajo name meaning "Ancient Ones" who inhabited the 4-Corners region…Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado…up until sometime in the 13th century, archaeologists surmise. Why they abandoned their towns and cities is still a mystery.
As an orange sun sets in the west
Silhouetting the trees
Flashes of orange and bright, bright white
Sights eyes can not believe
What were those flashes of orange
And white so clean and bright
Curiosity got my interest
And covered all the fright
As soon as next day's sun came up
On a trek to explore
In the woods and up the mountain
This enigma can't ignore
It was a long hard climb to the top
But there were flowers blooming.
In the shade, on the forest floor
Seemed something was looming
In fright I crept along the path
Well beaten by creatures
Mice, squirrels, and chipmonks footsteps
Along the trail featured
Then there asleep just outside a cave
Wearing nothing but shoes
White high top athletic pair
An orange ape peruse
Holy cow, it's bigfoot sound asleep
Just inside the cave more
High top athletic shoes bright white
To keep them clean a chore
Bigfoot began to move and stretch
Behind a tree I hid
He began to unlace his shoes
And those big feet undid
Augh!!! The odor that came from those
Feet, I almost got sick
He went down to the creek and washed
Coming back really quick
He threw the smelly shoes in the wash
And powdered down some clean
Danced away across the forest
Awaking me from dreams
Sponsor: Skat A (Poet, Destroyer A)
Contest: Bigfoot (the contest)
Written: April 20, 2015
Author: Sara Kendrick
unfinished
...Now their have been sightings since that dark time,
like Bigfoot the giant myth will not die,
but as to the flesh-and-blood giant race
it is unlikely one will ever rise.
But as I explained, much loving was done,
and giant genes still remain in mankind,
like neandertals they hide in plain sight,
and one-day mainstream science will go find
a skeleton that they cannot conceal,
they’ll find my ancestors, decode their genes,
realize that some of it still carries on,
they’ll win their Nobels, they’ll strut and they’ll preen.
It’s funny because I could have told them
that you see the giant genes everywhere,
most folks you see playing pro basketball
have a giant in their pedigree somewhere.
Volleyball players show all the signs too,
and most humans beyond seven-foot tall,
looking back at early modern humans
you just didn’t see heights like that at all.
And you wonder how I may know all this,
how I can speak of what most think a myth?
It’s simple, Tzilacatzin had him a wife,
I am a living descendant of his.
And after the Spanish conquered that land
his wife learned Spanish and wrote what she knew,
my family has kept this for centuries,
we tell people, but believers are few.
I know many of you won’t believe this,
my family says that it’s not the right time,
but for those who listen, know we’re out there,
giants have never really left mankind.