I'm reliving a page long unturned in my mind.
I'm jerking off in my teenage bedroom.
I had seen my mother naked
in the shower…
just a mistake, a matter
of an unlocked fate - nothing really,
yet that image lingers on
as a gatecrashing life-video.
I have prayed to that blank-faced reaper,
(he with his darkly tinted tabula raza),
for a clean reset,
or at least a selective amnesia,
yet a visual memory will dissolve
only to reform again before my inner eye.
Ever since,
young Oedipus has begun to dig,
determined unto death to bury a vision.
Sixty years later
he is still hard at work.
Categories:
jerking off, poverty,
Form: Free verse
embers of memory- solitude
a rugby inside me trembling
jerking off seeds, heat yolk
furtive cells melt in furnace
a secret pleasure perfumes
a little room an eve garden
my son learned how to erect
shadows still lurk -odorous
I felt soft sea froths salty
mammary pain oozing silk
oysters and lemons, orange
saffron, blue vain of throb
there I lay my child sinks
night chilly never had winks
Categories:
jerking off, allegory,
Form: Prose Poetry
Drinking water all night,
jerking off on the Sabbath,
and feeling the night making me feel alive,
Sabrine she left me a year ago-
a lie or two broke me apart;
giving too much of love,
giving her my heart and knowing that she'd lose it,
and I sit in the dark room
with one window open,
listening to the people next door making love,
and the bed frame slamming against the wall,
thinking "Holy Moly brother, give her a break, she'll break on you!"
but then remembering my next door neighbors were lesbians.
Then I remember Sabrine again,
letting lose with other men,
while she still is trying to get into college,
she was a good girl and a nice friend,
one you wish you could ask for,
wanting to make love with her,
but she is with another guy-
living in California,
but sometimes I think she turned lesbian
and is swinging with other women on Skid Row,
feeling up each other's shirts and skirts- it makes me hard-
see I still think of her, but now in a different light.
.2.23.2014.
Categories:
jerking off, deep, depression, how i
Form: Free verse
though i’ve no sympathy for the “devil”
(as there exists no such thing),
i got to feel that one must have
sympathy for the visitors---
if any self-respecting alien
felt the need to stop their space cruiser
on the way to some interesting place,
here,
on this intergalactic equivalent of a
foul smelling
highway
rest stop---
whose graffiti laden vending machine
sitting out front,
doesn’t even hold cans of the
outdated soda pictures &
whose bathroom filled with ex-pop stars
jerking off to pictures of little boys,
meth heads insufflating their life away,
prostitutes sucking off old men or
just unclean ****-stained walls,
might not hold the luster
that other wonderfully bright stars out there
may shine throughout the
universe,
i would stand out in the middle of the
parking lot,
surrounded by airstrip lighting
with flares bubbling fire in my hands
waving up at the sky like a madman
hoping they’d see me & know
to fly on by &
save themselves the disgust.
Categories:
jerking off, life, universe,
Form: Free verse
1: i knew you back when you had pizzazz, back when you were someone less concerned with what other individuals might say on television, write, or manifest in those pesky social networks about you---yes, i knew the you that had gusto.
2: and now?
1: and now? hmmm. well, and now you are something of a predictable drag. you contemplate & strategically make your every move as to provide the highest possible profit, be it financially, emotionally, whatever.
2: ok. so what’s wrong with that?
1: um, nothing i guess, as long as you like walking around as the physical embodiment of, i don’t know, probably the best comparison would be a dirty sock that some guy uses after jerking off to wipe up his sap. yeah, that’ll work.
Categories:
jerking off, life,
Form: Free verse