Q: Who is the young man who takes care of a child with no parents?
A: Little orphan's manny.
Q: How can a meth addict contact his supplier more quickly?
A: Put him on speed dial.
Q: What is the sharpened pole upon which the "sea eagle" impaled himself?
A: A tern pike.
Q: What do you call a sheet of glass eaten by a donkey?
A: A pane in the ass.
Q: What is it called when one ethnicity at work gets a larger office than another?
A: Racial spatial discrimination.
Q: What do you call a kid who demolishes his Cheerios instead of eating them?
A: A cereal killer.
Q: What did the call girl call the midget when he didn't want to pay her for her services?
A: A little prick.
Q: What's the one exercise Mitch McConnell can't do at the gym?
A: Chin-ups.
Q: What is the antique lawn statue near the door of my plantation in Lexington?
A: My old Kentucky gnome.
Q: Where did the first Mrs. Bing Crosby keep her love for her family?
A: Deep in the heart of Dixie.
Categories:
heart of dixie, humor,
Form: I do not know?
MISSISSIPPI
In the heart of Dixie,
Perfumed by
The sweet, fragrant smell of magnolias
and serenaded with
The melodious songs of the mockingbird,
Lies a true Queen of the South.
Her name is Mississippi .
I don’t know how to explain this place,
Except to say that she “speaks” to me.
The rocks, the flowers, the birds and trees
Speak to me.
They sometimes whisper,
And sometimes they shout;
But always they say,
“This is where you belong.”
2012 Patricia Neely-Dorsey
from My Magnolia Memories and musings - In Poems
#Mississippi #mississippipoems
Categories:
heart of dixie, home, nature, poems, poetry,
Form: Free verse
(About relatives moving from New York to Alabama)
Alabama Here We Come
By Elton Camp
Of cold temperature and snow you’ve had enough
So you are moving to where there isn’t such stuff
In Alabama the cost of living won’t be as high
And it will be much easier financially to get by
On old folks’ pensions there isn’t any state tax
So it’s a good place to be laid back and to relax
“Youse guys” will no longer offend your ear
Although it’s, “Y’all,” you will certainly hear
And too, now y’all will no longer Yankees be
Since you’ll be residing in the Heart of Dixie
But although you are escaping the winter gale,
Welcome to the land of tornadoes and hail
To learn to eat grits and Southern fried chicken
But pretty soon your fingers you will be licking
And it is bib overalls that you’ll get to wear
Go barefoot in summer and nobody will care
It’s the Deep South that’s the best place to be
So just hurry on down so that fact you can see
Categories:
heart of dixie, funny,
Form: Rhyme