More Texas Idioms
Miracle Man
November 9, 2023
Often my neighbor needs a little reproving,
“He’s always lying if his lips are moving”.
When he gives me news I consider the source,
this guy is “windier than a corn fed horse”
He doesn’t always like what I have to say
and quickly replies ”every dog has his day.”
Sometimes what I say induces his growls,
But I don’t worry, “a hit dog always howls.”
He’s been this way since he was half grown,
I once heard it said “he lies like a tombstone”.
He said I’m handier “Than hip pockets on a hog,”
and last year “His trees we’re bribing his dog”.
He’s such a liar “he’d beat you senseless,
and tell God you fell off a horse”
Categories:
handier, how i feel, life,
Form: Couplet
Texas Idioms
Miracle Man
8/9/2023
I once had a friend who saw opportunities dwindling,
he was always, “burning his green wood for kindling.”
My polite way of saying that he wasted his time,
he couldn’t “buy a flea a coat if it just cost a dime.”
He was “dumber than dirt with a head like a log,”
When sober he was “handier than hip pockets on a hog.”
He “thought the sun came up just to hear him crow,”
and I thought this man had “a great face for radio.”
He was “as yellow as mustard but without the bite,”
and “if melted down couldn’t be poured into a fight.”
So he wouldn’t be someone I’d ever take to a battle,
In short, this old friend “was all hat and no cattle.”
“he was so narrow minded
he could look through a keyhole with both eyes.”
Categories:
handier, humor, humorous,
Form: Quatrain
Poor, pink pan handier
Perfect, pleasant pan handier
Most self thought less people can’t stand ya!
Proud, powerful pan handier
Pretty, pointless pan handier
Perfect, purple pan handier
Are you truthful or are you a fraud, I too can’t stand ya!
If you’re real destitute then it’s a sinners and Christian duty to share with you..
In need, true indeed…
Poor, pleasurable pan handier
Painful, pop pan handier
Peculiar, pale pan handier
Pleasing, prepared pan handier whether sincere, real or a hoax;
I’ll just give you $5.00 for you see too I am broke?
6/9/19
Written by James E. Lee Sr.2019©
Categories:
handier, adventure, america, analogy, appreciation,
Form: Alliteration