Ham Fisted Poems


The Manual Clunk

My typewriter
was not a good typewriter,
its keys were weighty,
you had to use brain muscle to work it,
nobody wanted it.

My son unpacked a home computer.
I stood by and watched
as all the electronics were laid out on the floor
and surgically knitted together.

I knew then
that I would be consistently out of touch,
and possibly would remain
stuck in an obsolete year
trying to catch up
from the rear of the field.

I wrote my first poem
on that clickity-clack manual machine,
then a dozen more,
all of them were heavy handed,
yet that hefty labor
made me think
I was crafting something worthwhile.

Later, I was enslaved to a computer keyboard,
chained as I was to its subsonic urgings
I could tell
the world was speeding away
faster than I could write.

When my kind of poet dies,
he is immediately ed,
for all his contemporary poems
turn into digital wormholes
that suck him into an unknown grave.

The young look to dead poets for wisdom -
truth is,
that those ham-fisted plodders
have long ago
turned into chunky typewriters
that nobody wants.
Categories: ham fisted, poetry,
Form: Free verse

Premium MemberOur World's An Awfully Dangerous Place

Chairman Xi, like Chairman Mao
    Vladimir Putin, shades of Josef Stalin
  Kim Jong-un, plus Recep Tayyip Erdogan
    Iranian Mullahs producing drones and bombs
 
  Our world is an awfully dangerous place
    Yet America's response is a first-class disgrace
  Yesterday Congress' focus on International Pronoun Day
    At New York's UN today, autocrats against Israel inveigh

  At home, crime's way up, 'so' we end cash bail
    Why not let all the thugs out of jail
  To protect its citizenry, America's government once existed
    Now it opens the borders, its explanations ham-fisted

  Add to all this rampant inflation, rising racial tensions
    Plus self-defeating 'green goals' and underfunded pensions...
  The 'threat to democracy' shouters couldn't be more wrong
    The reason it's real ~ America misguided is no longer strong
Categories: ham fisted, america, freedom, green, motivation,
Form: Couplet


Premium MemberAmerican Gothic - With Apologies To Grant Wood

I’d plow four rocky acres, maybe even five,
For a taste of the honey from my Honey’s hive.
No one spices the clover like my lover does
When we meet in the meadow and we buzz, buzz, buzz.

She’s a blue ribbon winner at the county show;
Sings a nice little number, ends in E-I-O.
She can flirt with the judges and they think it’s cute;
When she winks like a barn owl, they shout hoot, hoot, hoot.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, hoot, hoot, hoot.
Dance ‘round the hen house in a chicken suit.
Learn how to juggle, break an egg or two,
Then we’ll make rooster jealous when we doodle-do.

See the ducks swim in circles on the lily pond
And that one lonesome froggie in the mist beyond.
We can drop our pretensions (standing back-to-back),
Then we’ll slip in the water going quack, quack, quack.

I’m a ham-fisted farm boy, Sugar. Holy cow!
Got a stool and a bucket and I do know how.
We’ll have sweet cream and peaches once the milkin’s through,
When our lips come together and we moo, moo, moo.

Quack, quack, quack, moo, moo, moo.
Work like the devil with a pitchfork, too.
Warn all the pigeons we’ll be pitchin’ woo
When we meet in the hayloft and we coo, coo, coo.
Categories: ham fisted, farm, love, marriage,
Form: Lyric

A Narrow Escape In the Coffee Shop

In the coffee shop
A mistimed twist
By the barista
Caused a hissing
Coffee jet to
Ballista towards
My sister and I
Worried it would
Hit her wrist and
Give her a blister,
But fortunately
It missed her.

The manager scolded
The ham-fisted barista,
But since no-one was scalded,
He didn’t dismiss her.
Categories: ham fisted, humor, humorous, silly,
Form: Free verse

Simply Me

Inexpert at rhyme 
or singing in time
I bray like a laryngitic donkey
my artwork's inept 
I'm ham-fisted except
when doodling things that are wonky

Of style I'm bereft 
my feet are both left
splayed in an opposite direction;
'tis little wonder
I blindfully blunder
into despair and abject dejection

My mind is a bog 
of gunk and cheap grog
my gray matter's shrinking, I fear
today is a haze 
yesterday a maze
and everything's clearly unclear

My dress sense is eish 
and fits not my niche
nor do my shorts, come to that
my flip-flops are worn 
my t-shirts all torn
one boob is fat, one is flat!

Despite many a flaw
I'm not an eyesore
though ungainly and lacking in style
with my stunning good looks
I easily hooked
your soon-to-be-ex with my smile
Categories: ham fisted, introspection
Form: Rhyme


Hunger

Here, 
where the black white shadows 
pond and melt 
her dress 
flutters around the 
pronounced scimitar 
of her neck line. 

Eyes whisper 
fr-ig-id 
with a syllabically thick accent 
as if cold were a ham-fisted lug 
emerging from the 
yawning dark mouth 
of the cabin behind her 
pressing his hands 
with the grip 
of a dying man 
bracing his last breath 
with each 
light blue, 
half moon 
fingernail.
Categories: ham fisted, food, people, sad, social,
Form: Free verse
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