Funnyhorse Poems | Examples


Premium Member A Horse To Hate

There’s a horse that I so hate to see,
and at night sometimes he visits me.
His attacks to my thigh
make me think I might die.
Wild "Charley Horse" acts horribly.

For he comes out of nowhere, so fast!
And he brings a sharp pain like a blast.
I scream like a loon
hit by a harpoon.
Then my husband awakens aghast!

But my hubbie can’t help me. That horse,
though invisible, has such great force!
How I love my reprieves
when the little beast leaves.
But his kind never stays gone, of course!

My poor calf he attacked in a pool
while I swam, and I felt like a fool
as I floundered around.
Well, I could have drowned!
He’s a mean little horse and a ghoul.

He’s got kin, and they all like the game
of bringing folks pain. One has fame
of attacking your womb
in a hospital room.
Now THAT one puts Charley to shame!!

By Andrea Dietrich

(note to those who do not know this common
 American expression: Charley Horse is a leg cramp
and all the his kin are assorted types of cramps!)

For PD's "Any Poem Goes" Contest
Form: Limerick

Smart Horse, Stupid Girl

One weekend I decided to do some camping
Along with good friends
and go horseback riding.
Cooking away on the open pit
not my thing, I must admit.
So I decided to have a ride
In the middle of the night
Upon my beautiful horse
Tanked full of beer-
fearing no recourse.
Into the woods we sped
Not able to see, and quite tipsy
I thought it a blast
Till I hit that tree
on the ground I went
almost broke a knee.
Miles away from camp,
Thank the Lord my horse stayed
with me.
Together, following her track
I limped back.

One thing I must make clear,
Never ride a horse drinking beer!

Honorable Mention in  the " Light is On, but Nobody Is Home" contest
by Paula Swanson

A. Green
Form: Rhyme


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