For as long as I can remember
Me madda was de head voodoo club member
She taught me how to make love potion
To mess with der woman emotion
So me meet dis lovely girl
Seeing ‘er, give me a mighty trill
Me make a love potion I confess
From a piece of ‘er nighty dress
Mix it wit da loose hairs I find spare
From me teet and ‘er underwear
Put a drop a me sista’s joojoo
Me perform de dance from de club voodoo
Throw in me madda’s secret potion
And give me girl as a hand and face lotion
For a year everyting sweet
Me girl an animal love treat
Until one day I notice de hair
Growing on her hands and ‘er face
De one me puck from me teet and her underwear
She look like she not from de human race
‘er back bend, knuckles drag upun de floor
Der woman get a whole lot a chunky
She want me twenty five times a day, me sore
Each day me see her she look more like a monkey
O’ Madda your potion no work, why you lie?
Your son he been abused, he sore and he cry
Dis woman ruin your son life
He wake up to find she is his wife…
There once was a girl name of Hood
who walked tall, as every girl should.
She tossed over her head
a cover of bright red
and ventured out into the wood.
She carried a black riding crop
and critters she’s stop with a pop.
But, Ole Dracula saw her
and made her his daughter
Now, the blood bank is her first stop.
Well, sweet Red, she still loved her Grandma
so, though pale she went with a camera.
But who did she find
that awfull nighttime
in the cottage, was it her Grandma???
Red Riding hood took a look see?
beneath the night cap, who was she?
Long teeth, she had four,
her hands, they were paws
So Red fed, with a “Tee hee hee hee!”
*Little Red Riding Hood spoof for "Happily Ever After?"
There once was a girl named Flo
That every man wanted to know
They went in for a while
And came out with a smile
The girl was like St Nick's Ho! Ho! Ho!
There is a Ginger girl I see
Whom I see professionally
In a strictly sexual capacity
She is a lady of the night
A tart or a hooker, called Delight
Ok she’s a prostitute, alright?
But I call my sweet little ho
The dirty Ginger girl I know
My Orange pay as you go
Bertha had a little lamb
That was Mary's sister
And everywhere that Mary went
Bertha often missed her
See Mary was the oldest child
And Bertha well she wasn't
And Mary understands her sheep
But poor old Bertha doesn't
So Bertha had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as coal
And everywhere that Bertha went
She just wouldn't let him go
See Bertha was the black sheep
And that youngin' even dipped snuff
They sent that girl to military school
But it just wasn't long enough
Now Bertha liked her sister
But she knew she had to go
Cause Bertha was eatin' her lambchops
And she didn't want Mary to know
But before she could get rid of Mary
They gave her an intervention
And if that girl didn't straighten up
They'd put her in dentention
Well that's the end of my story
And Bertha and Mary are just fine
Even though a lamb goes missing
From their fields from time to time