Curl Up and Dye
By Elton Camp
To craziness in salon names there’s no stop
Nobody likes simple: Meg’s Beauty Shop
Maybe to call the place “The Mane Attraction”
Is a way for a cosmetologist to get some action
Womens’ hearts, the shop fills with gladness
When it has the zany name of “Shear Madness”
In a spot that has been designated as “Hair Lair,”
Customers will understand why the place is there
It surely must have been some marketing whiz
Who picked for a salon this title, “Hair It Is”
I can’t imagine whom the following would love:
A beauty with the strange name, “A Cut Above”
When the potential names begin to become few,
Only then, I sure think, would “Clip Joint” do
“The Cutting Edge” sounds like a computer store
But it has been used to designate a salon before
“Twisted Sisters” sounds much like a kinky place
Some think the name “Hairem” is also a disgrace
But it seems to me there is no good reason why
A salon shouldn’t be called “Curl Up and Dye”
Marked for beauty or for grossness
Central chest area, just like my ancestors
Which ones I won't confess, yet...
I debate each year-- remove the beast?
Or let the beauty live as a heritage of my family
So there it resides evident centrally
A pebble in the road, that leads through the valley
Forgotten mostly, yet a point to greet on the journey
Wish they had left me a beach front condo instead
At least it is not in the center of my forehead!
For the Holy Mole-y contest!!
There's a face beside my mother-in-law's mole
It even tries to talk to me
I think the face has taken control
That poor mole's in misery
Side by side like siamese twins
But the mole is kind cute
The face however is as ugly as sin
Like some kind of infected root
That mole needs to get that face removed
It's a cancer with really bad breath
It's hidieous with hair everywhere
And it scares small children to death
A mole can be called a beauty mark
But that face no beauty is found
It looks like somebody dug it up
Like a corpse deep under ground
Now I'm not saying my mother-in-law's ugly
Even though that's what I said
I just wish my wife's mother
Could be that mole instead
There's a face beside my mother-in-law's mole
It even tries to talk to me
I think the face has taken control
That poor mole's in misery
Side by side like siamese twins
But the mole is kinda cute
The face however is as ugly as sin
Like some kind of infected root
That mole needs to get that face removed
It's a cancer with really bad breath
It's hidieous with hair everywhere
And it scares small children to death
A mole can be called a beauty mark
But that face no beauty is found
It looks like somebody dug it up
Like a corpse deep under ground
Now I'm not saying my mother-in-law's ugly
Even though that's what I said
I just wish my wife's mother
Could be that mole instead
I see it time and time again
That beauty’s made by what is spent
A beauty that demands a price
With outer glow and inner ice
And observation seems to tell
It’s only as deep as the well
For come the day the well runs dry
Such beauty simply waves goodbye
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