Warm yellow light.
Chilly, for indoor.
Soft, soothing, piano.
Music—
Door slides open.
A man walks in, his eyes—
Rain’s wailing outside.
He talks to the nurse.
His voice hoarse like sand—
Flash, lightening.
Raindrops darken the dusty walk—
Thunder.
He sinks into the bench beside me.
Stinging smell of cigarette butts—
Another thunder.
Door slides close and muffles it.
Nurse says my name.
I walk into the doctor’s—
A muffled thunder.
I don’t remember seeing the lightning.
_____________
Note: Dysautonomia is a disorder of the autonomic nervous system, often causing brain fog, anxiety, and sensory overload.
Categories:
dysautonomia, anxiety, mental health, mental
Form: Free verse
'If only they could see real me'
Wide awake at 2 am
What you doing on Facebook then?
Try to distract from aches and pains
Adrenaline rush through floppy veins
Morning light comes all too soon
Wish could sleep till after noon
Wrecked from pain and fight to work
Staying put insurance perk
Some days fatigue is too much strife
No energy left to win at life
Too much effort to get me fed
When all I want's to stay in bed
Back feels broken, worn out disks
Just standing, walking has its risks
Light headed, dizzy, need a seat
Blood pressure drops to swollen feet
Commuters shuffle, busy train
As fight own struggles of hectic brain
If only they could see real me
Inside out the pain they'd see
All while my fake smile generated
The real me hides not penetrated 'If only they could see real me'
Victoria Payne September 2016
#chronicfatigue #chronicpain #spoonie #fatigue #sick #tired #EDS #ehlersdanlossyndrome #ehlersdanlos #POTS #Chiari #poet #poem #poetry #painpoem #hiddenpain #fakesmile #yawn #sleep #autonomicdysfunction #dysautonomia #rhymes #instapain
Categories:
dysautonomia, how i feel, hurt,
Form: Rhyme