I’m not some filthy ****
who calls your poems
a joke; I like them.
But here’s advice,
take it or ignore it:
You lard a poem with myths
that weigh it down; half
the young no longer know them.
In the next poem you introduce a talking door.
Do doors talk in Verona?
You use diminutives to excess,
little this and little that,
perhaps some little thing
is worrisome to you.
Virgil wrote of agriculture,
Lucretius physics,
you count our kisses –
a thousand, hundred, hundred thousand kisses kissed,
too many kisses to account for.
For you breezes are like overdrafts,
kisses coins, and lost investments
are like losing love.
You probably count the napkins after dinner.
As for metrics, I’m old fashioned,
prefer the epic beats and elegiac,
not the polymetrics and the tricky
new ones you employ.
You steal from Callimachus
and from Sappho too.
Worse of all you mix artifice and feeling.
It’s time you found a manly voice
to speak of love and pleasure as we know it, not from some book.
The 'N' Word
Some
people
of color,
diminutives
of a secular order adherent
superior echelon, stigmata
decoratives
in lieu of
a good
term.
2021 February 27
*2nd Place*
Double Tetractys 7
~~Eve Roper
Picture #1
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