Lesbia Discussed Catullus' Poetry

I’m not some filthy **** who calls your poems a joke; I like them. But here’s advice, take it or ignore it: You lard a poem with myths that weigh it down; half the young no longer know them. In the next poem you introduce a talking door. Do doors talk in Verona? You use diminutives to excess, little this and little that, perhaps some little thing is worrisome to you. Virgil wrote of agriculture, Lucretius physics, you count our kisses – a thousand, hundred, hundred thousand kisses kissed, too many kisses to account for. For you breezes are like overdrafts, kisses coins, and lost investments are like losing love. You probably count the napkins after dinner. As for metrics, I’m old fashioned, prefer the epic beats and elegiac, not the polymetrics and the tricky new ones you employ. You steal from Callimachus and from Sappho too. Worse of all you mix artifice and feeling. It’s time you found a manly voice to speak of love and pleasure as we know it, not from some book.