Taking care of baby
is life's truest joy, alright
Especially if your idea of fun
is staying up all night
One thing that you can count on
is running out of shirts
'Cos baby loves to 'spit up'
each bottle you insert
As for changing diapers
the part I like the best
is when you think you're finished
baby smiles and makes the rest
Then there's blessed naptime
when baby closes her eyes
That is, until you leave the room
and she lets out that piercing cry
Yes, taking care of baby
what marriage is all about
I only pray that I survive
~ in case my wife conks out
Categories:
conks, baby, care, dad, fun,
Form: Light Verse
I meet four women.
We laugh and talk.
Some of the stories we have heard forty times already.
We laugh anyway.
We are talking in two’s now.
Which means the fifth is completely left out.
Odd is always a “third wheel” with women, and girls.
Trouble is, no matter how hard I plan to be in pairs
Someone invariably conks out at the last second.
Leaving us an odd number again.
Making it a hard time for the wheel.
Categories:
conks, girl, girlfriend, woman,
Form: Free verse
EVERY WONDER OF THE WIDE WORLD
Darling friend, pain will end
Go to sleep my lively lady
When you wake you shall have
Every wonder of the wide world
Sweet rose day
Worlds away
Every lover that you treasured
Books and words
Dreams and birds
Every thought that can be measured
Darling friend, pain will end
Go to sleep my lively lady
When you wake you shall have
Every wonder of the wide world
(repeat all verses until beloved conks out!)
Melody: All the pretty little horses
(my favorite childhood song, sung to my children as well)
Categories:
conks, peace, song-pain, sleep,
Form: Lyric
Again on the side of the road with my head under the hood,
A firm jiggle on the starter wire and start again she probably should.
More than a month’s salary to get her fixed, I cannot afford to pay,
So every time she conks out on me - the hood goes up before I’m on my way.
The burn on the side of my hand is from touching the engine when still hot,
After that rather painful lesson learned I can now reach in and touch it not.
Beggars can’t be choosey so I still drive the old family clunker,
Once I graduate and get a real job, I’m driving her into a bunker.
A station wagon older than me is not conducive for getting a date;
The rich kids on the other side of town use their Camaros as pretty girl bait.
The electric window in the back of the car no longer goes up, it just stays down;
The heater is broke so in the winter I drive a car full of snow all over the town.
On days when jiggling doesn’t seem to work, I revert to using my thumb;
Camaros pass by with pretty girls inside and I really feel kind’a dumb.
It’s a character builder I tell myself since I really have no other choice,
I jiggle again and beg her to start in my nicest and most sincere voice.
Categories:
conks, life, car, me,
Form: Rhyme