Soldiers with the cornered colonel
Said to crack him like a kernel,
Easily made him surrender,
Account of his orders render…
Colonel Smith, on his neck flannel,
Suddenly facing a Panel
In his house and front verandah,
Two watching from his Coriander…
They knew where to questions channel:
“Who’d twelve men shot from tunnel?”
Many had guessed: Major Lander
But order from Smith Evander…
Their decision shall be final:
They had come as a Tribunal…
“One thing about you Evander:
Death often smells like Lavender.”
In every lie, a kernel of Truth ~
Old folks no longer jealous of youth
Good afternoon sir Colonel Sanders,
I wonder how you still have that smile.
I admire how you’ve kept your standards
After many complaints for a long while.
At least that smile of yours have some style!!!!
Colonel Harland David Sanders
To people's palates he panders
KFC sell great fried chicken
So good, it’s really finger lickin!
Celebrity or Famous Person Clerihew Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
3/20/19
Colonel Sanders is my rooster's name,
he's quite the specimen when it comes to game.
In the morning he stands up proud
and wakes me up with a crow that's loud.
Next to other roosters he's twice their size,
with love on his mind and mischief in his eyes.
The hens may adore him, but he ain't sweet,
with spurs like daggers above his feet.
In our backyard he rules supreme,
but how he treats the girls you may find extreme.
He scratches and struts for all to see
and when it's time for romance he gets it for free.
Now the Colonel may be as big as big can be,
but I'm afraid he met a girl that's bigger than he.
The Colonel decided to attack my wife's legs,
she pardoned his sin, but said next time we'll eat more than eggs.
9/28/18
Colonel Flighty is a cad
Thinks himself a funny wag
Thinks he's mighty, ain't that sad
"Look at me! A strutting stag!"
Jiggly belly, jowls that sag
Throat all phlegmy, such a drag
Trousers smelly, makes you gag
Leaky colostomy bag.
Toss him quickly drown a crag
If he lives we'll be so mad
End his sickly feeble brag
Hear his fading shout, "Egad!"
I know that beauty is superficial, what's important in a person is how they are internal.
But she makes me think of Kentucky Fried Chicken because she looks like the Colonel.
When people see her, they all think that she founded KFC.
I've tried and tried to get rid of her but she won't dump me.
i even let her catch me in bed with her cousin and her little sis.
When she saw what was happening, she wasn't even pissed.
i broke her arm and she had to wear a cast
This relationship won't end even though I want to put it in the past.
When I said that I wanted to break it off, she threatened to throw acid in my face.
I want to hire a hitman to take her out because I hate her, our relationship is a disgrace.
She proposed to me and I said no but she wants us to get married and so does her Pa.
He's going to force me to marry her with his shotgun and then he'll be my father-in-law.
My life stinks, things are going from bad to worse.
I want somebody to shoot me to end this curse.
You won't see a smile on my face because I feel nothing but gloom.
I'm in a situation that I can't get out of, I'm a man who is doomed.
COLONEL HARLAND SANDERS
BY James Edward Lee Sr.
COLONEL HARLAND SANDERSMade seasoned pressured-fried chicken
Made in his restaurant original or crispy
Served with a bisket and not Dunkin Donuts
12/05/17
Because I look like Colonel Sanders, people ask me for the secret recipe.
When I tell them that I don't have it, they always get very angry at me.
These dumbasses don't even know that the Colonel has been dead for thirty-five years.
Some people get violent when I say I can't help them, I've learned the meaning of fear.
Everybody asks me to tell them what the eleven herbs and spices are.
One guy tried to run over me with his truck, that was going way too far.
Another guy threatened to take his chicken and cram its head up my butt.
That was the last damn straw, I kicked the ass of that Kentucky Fried Idiot.
I was arrested for assault and the judge offered to go easy on me.
He said he'd suspend my sentence if I gave him the secret recipe.
I told him that I'm not the Colonel and he sentenced me to ten months in jail because he was pissed.
When I get out, I'm going to dye my hair and shave my beard because I can't take anymore of this.
(This is a fictional poem)
Colonel Sanders
Maybe roasted salamanders
But he got the world finger lickin’
With his recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken
For Andrea’s contest
The Colonel and the Clown
By Elton Camp
Come visit the colonel or the clown
For the finest food that can be found
You don’t even have to hunt around
For we are found in most every town
Our stores are especially neat and clean
Where many smiling faces can be seen
Most of our employees are of young age
So happy to work for the minimum wage
Anytime that you need to dash
Our food will be ready in a flash
Everything’s cooked well ahead
So walk right in and you’ll be fed
Our fat and cholesterol galore
Will make you wish for even more
Electrolytes you will never deplete
With sodium our wares are replete
Our food’s delicious and prices low
To the colonel or clown, please go
With Southern charm
He forged the hold
Of foreign gold
On town and farm.
He gave us two
Proud presidents—
No accidents--
Yet hid from view.
I guess he felt
That Wilson could
Be used, as should
Be Roosevelt.
He coached the game
To win us all:
The Federal
Reserve’s its name.
And he’s to thank
For nations leagued
And then intrigued
Behind One Bank.
You ask my source?
Read his own book,
A blood-bathed look
At rule by force.
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