I prefer to gaze at my Eden
through this veil of screens.
There, the miracle of sun and bloom
explodes with delight over my stoned edges.
But...ponder me first before venturing
once more unto that breach, for there,
in the bowels of hosta and fern
lurk the humping beetle larvae,
phantom chompers, and
coal ink gorging rot,
all in roiling orgy,
within my manicured lines.
And, were I not a steward of the natural order,
I would Rambo myself into the fray
with bandoleers of bug cannons
and porcupine piss grenades.
Poised like a Spartan at the hot gates.
my doomed, flowing locks fluttering
in the blaze until the carnivorous
Paraná fleas hollow me out from within
and I fall like straw man turned delicately to bed.
cloistered again behind screen and wicker,
very non-Spartan like, relentlessly
resigned to trowel and tribulation
Categories:
chompers, anger, garden, lust, sexy,
Form: Free verse
Walmart has its Christmas trees
For sale, for goodness’ sake!
Guess they won’t dry out, though,
‘Cause, of course, those trees are fake.
But hey, it’s just October first,
With short-sleeved shirts still worn.
The stores have barely gotten in
Their stock of candy corn.
Celebrate the orange first
Before the red and green;
And keep in mind that Chanukah,
This year, falls in-between.
But many people just can’t wait
For Christmas spending sprees,
So chompers-at-the bit, enjoy,
For Walmart sure agrees!
Categories:
chompers, christmas,
Form: Rhyme
Yer briny whore
akin to boar
wit' mangy hide 'n scurvy-pocked
chomped 'n chewed
me black 'n blue
wit' carnassial chompers as of croc
Be curs'd, yer nit
me ample bits
equated ter yer own be nowt
yerz be carnivorous
scaly 'n scabrous
yer plaque be axed ter beef up grout
Uncomely wench
yer skunky stench
blunted me hook 'n scorched me beard
me peepers stung
me hornpipe hung
shorn ter th' bone 'n shrivelled 'n seared
Comely 'n curvy
riddled wit' scurvy
th' cap'n's whore-maid tooken yer whole
yer rat o' th' sea
holed and *****
yer fired yer cannon in a rottin' port'ole
Blow me down, lover!! I love it when we talk dirty.
(Hahahaha. I see the Soup powers-that-be deleted my word. I swear it's not used as a swearword. The word rhymes with "hussy". lol)
Categories:
chompers, funny,
Form: Rhyme
If you were at the grocery store
Waiting in line
and the person ahead of you
was bored with waiting
so turned back to talk with you
and flashed you a grin...
and was missing a front tooth or two...
would you respond to her in the same way
you'd respond to a woman who packed a full set of
mighty bright
mighty tight
mighty expensive chompers?
Categories:
chompers, health,
Form: Free verse