There is a vendetta of thoughts going on within me
But how do I air it out?
I fear if I may orate it, not all might give me their ears
If I may scribble it, not all might scroll their eyes over it.
How do I say all the things within me?
Then I let go of these lucid words into the air,
Off-minding who cares or doesn’t.
My sole aim is
For the world to hear my voice.
Say I’m a bard learning to soar high into the sky
Say, I’m a crescent growing to a moon,
To cheer the cheerlessness of nights
Say I’m water rooting for a path to reach firestorms
And quench them
Say I am a star giving out lustrous glints.
Do I seem alone? Well, I'm not.
*whispering* "I have my retinue".
They're here, to tarnish accomplishments
with pointless debate and circular arguments.
Inviting trouble, self-distrust and cheerlessness.
The posse of negative voices that live in my mind.
Do I seem alarmed? Maybe not but I am though.
*whispering* "I'm conjuring the worst case scenario".
My teen brain is coursing - with cognitive distortion.
What's meant to keep me safe is magnifying the vague
into landslides of irrational outcomes, ill-defined.
This entourage of catastrophic thinking in my mind.
So if I seem flaky - i'm sorry - you see I'm really busy
fighting the urgent vandals in my mind.
If I seem overly emotional it isn't something personal
I'm fighting my way thru this noise the whole time.
neglected
rejected
dejected
wretched -
regret
expresses
stress
in
fret
and
trembles
as
repressed
spleen
cheerlessness
enfetters
tension
in
vehement
violence
I never give advice, but I’m telling you now,
Never joke with a person who doesn’t know how….
It’ll backfire in ways you cannot even imagine to venture a guess.
Shocking you unexpectedly with unnecessary and nasty cheerlessness.
“She’s lying,” they’ll spit, sputter, slander, slather, and say,
Because they have no knowledge of any kind of play.
Matter of fact, let us leave these people out of our heads, hearts, and homes.
Best of all to block them from your relatives, friends, and brand new I-phone.
Because the negativity they bring to your life may enter your soul.
Upon which time you might lose sight of your dreams, aspirations, and big goal.
I am not being heartless, because everyone knows, this is what they’ll do.
They’ll gravitate to more of their kind, angry people who want to be blue.
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