I went on a blind date on the tenth of June
He was handsome, his looks made me swoon
We drank champagne at the swanky ‘Dubloon’
Fortunately, he was a multi millionaire tycoon!
He escorted me outside so that we could spoon
Too much champers turned him into a buffoon
His laddish behaviour it was most inopportune...
He dropped his trousers - I could see his full moon!
I was moonstruck - he acted like stupid baboon
My cab pulled up, ‘twas not a moment too soon!
Moon Contest
Sponsored by Kevin Shaw
6/12/18
Categories:
champers, humorous, moon,
Form: Monorhyme
from the book WOW! TATTOO MY BUTT -
MORE MAD POEMS AND VERSE BY NICK
By Nick Armbrister
Zuni
I'm the defective detective.
I marvel at the whiteness of frozen snow.
Left right upper leg.
Do you like beer?
No I like Ricky Gervais.
I'm inside the tumble dryer spinning in space.
Just made a hillinit bloody hooooot.
Why do I let the last 5 years drag me down?
Chained to me,
self destroying me from within.
I'm the Phantom Ray bombing plane with no pilot.
She ticked the opt out box and became
a peace loving vegan vampire bi-sexual lesbian called Sultry Sheba.
Dave can roll joints with his toes and smoke them with his bell.
Curtain rail caterpillar coloured purple and beige.
Gibbering old people flying Messers over Russia.
Retirement?
Humbug flavoured gumdrops.
Silver beer cans tasting tinnily of champers.
Aldi luxury potatoes for tea.
Join me and talk gibberish.
Categories:
champers, fantasy, funny, nonsense, silly,
Form: Verse
*I wrote this with John Lennon’s Happy Xmas (War Is Over) tune in mind.
Happy Xmas (When’s It Over?)
SO this is Xmas
Where did the year go?
No money left over
To have and to hold
And SO blinking Xmas
Is here once again
It’s over indulgence
For women and men
A Very Merry Xmas
And a Happy New Year
With mince pies and brandy
Some Champers and Beer
And SO this is Xmas
The kids are on high
Your granny is snoring
(too many pork pies)
And SO Happy Xmas
Your trousers feel tight
Another dry sherry
I’m too weak to fight
A Very Merry Xmas
And a Happy New Year
With trifle & custard
Washed down with warm beer
And SO this is Xmas
Your waistline no more
Another dead brain cell
You try to ignore
And SO Happy Xmas
I hope you’ve had fun
Prosecco and chocolate
All shows on your tum
Yes, A Very Merry Xmas
And a Happy New Year
I wish you a good one
Without any tears :0)
Categories:
champers, christmas, humorous,
Form: Rhyme