While wading in the water
caught a wet soft-bodied squid
took it home for dinner
but the evening was a damp squib
I don't think ink but due to
an unrequited one-way conversation
neither returned nor reciprocated
on my part quite the aberration
courtship was not to be
for as a voracious marine carnivore
I could not sate her hunger
as had insufficient albacore
therefore not a keeper
what's more a pet one cannot tame
next day all things considered and quite timely
'twas returned to the sea from whence she came
[Disclaimer: No Squid Were Harmed
in the Writing of this Poem®]
I rest upon the shore, waves flowing briskly,
Sipping Margaritas where palm trees glow.
Hollywood Beach, where rhythm's alive,
Cheerful dancers make the bars thrive!
Calamari fried with oceanic spritz
Sunset pouring down on my beach bliss
I'm having Margarita moments in such golden lights!
Floridian hearts fill me with delight!
From Atlanta's roads, I drove one day,
Escaping the city's rat race, getting away,
On to the Hollywood shoreline, where the ocean called,
Then sailing in my dreams to meridionals.
A savory salad of fun, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, full of glee!
Colors of the beach, as wild as I'd foreseen.
To be myself, free of chains, no spies,
Just Floridian skies in premium Atlantic Paradise!
Curious to test the fallacious claim
that you could eviscerate calamari squid
in the vortex of a blender,
the amateur chef took the plunge
to bewilder and tantalize friends.
He added a whole squid to the bowl of a blender
and selected the lowest speed.
It looked good a first,
but then the mix blushed scarlet -
Calamari in the Mist.
Calamari
Have you heard the latest about calamari
If you haven’t yet eaten, stop now or be sorry
Rumors abound – maybe cheek in tongue
Of a gross switcheroo of squid and pig bung
A friend’s cousin’s friend’s sister once dated
A guy from a meat packing plant, so it’s stated
Because of the cost of the great tasting squid
That is exactly what his packing plant did
It’s kind of disgusting but plausible still
When you’re short on a product but have orders to fill
Battered and fried to a cute little ring
Pork guts or squid – it looks like either thing
But order it out and look closely to see it
They both look the same so it just might be it
Or set up a fryer and conduct your own test
Is fried calamari or deep-fried bung best
And if the FDA wants to end the disputes
They can simply approve the deep-fried pork poop chutes
Another news story I thought you might like
Courtesy of your new pal, Uncle Mike
"You will NEVER win the Spaceman Of The Year award!"/"I will SO!"/"You haven't the
love of humanity for it!!!"/"Get OFF my spaceship!"....Any form is acceptable.
For Matt's contest poem to movie based on the above dialogue!
Captain the craft is approaching with intent to board us, should we prepare for
boarding? Dr. Nono, do you have a positive ID? We believe it to be Martian Martin...
Captain replies, "Oh no my arch enemy, what does he want? this can't be good.
Prepare for boarding, doctor"
Martian Martin boards the spacecraft and approaches Captain Calamari.
Stating, "Good evening, captain, I have come to inform you of your defeat in this
years Spaceman of the year award, You will never win!!/"I will SO!"/"You haven't the
love of humanity for it!!"/"Get OFF my spaceship!"
Martian Martin exits the spaceship.
Captain Calamari turns to his crew and screams prepare for battle, Dr. Nono what is
our coordinates?
Dr. Nono states yes captain, battle stations ready, lock and load!! Coordinates: sector five, niner and grid four point seven. Fire at will!!
Pow!! Bang!! Boom!!
The Spaceman of the Year award is mine!! I shall not be defeated!! HAAHAA!
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