Curious to test the fallacious claim
that you could eviscerate calamari squid
in the vortex of a blender,
the amateur chef took the plunge
to bewilder and tantalize friends.
He added a whole squid to the bowl of a blender
and selected the lowest speed.
It looked good a first,
but then the mix blushed scarlet -
Calamari in the Mist.
Categories:
calamari, food, nonsense,
Form: Free verse
Calamari
Have you heard the latest about calamari
If you haven’t yet eaten, stop now or be sorry
Rumors abound – maybe cheek in tongue
Of a gross switcheroo of squid and pig bung
A friend’s cousin’s friend’s sister once dated
A guy from a meat packing plant, so it’s stated
Because of the cost of the great tasting squid
That is exactly what his packing plant did
It’s kind of disgusting but plausible still
When you’re short on a product but have orders to fill
Battered and fried to a cute little ring
Pork guts or squid – it looks like either thing
But order it out and look closely to see it
They both look the same so it just might be it
Or set up a fryer and conduct your own test
Is fried calamari or deep-fried bung best
And if the FDA wants to end the disputes
They can simply approve the deep-fried pork poop chutes
Another news story I thought you might like
Courtesy of your new pal, Uncle Mike
Categories:
calamari, education, food, , cute,
Form: Rhyme
"You will NEVER win the Spaceman Of The Year award!"/"I will SO!"/"You haven't the
love of humanity for it!!!"/"Get OFF my spaceship!"....Any form is acceptable.
For Matt's contest poem to movie based on the above dialogue!
Captain the craft is approaching with intent to board us, should we prepare for
boarding? Dr. Nono, do you have a positive ID? We believe it to be Martian Martin...
Captain replies, "Oh no my arch enemy, what does he want? this can't be good.
Prepare for boarding, doctor"
Martian Martin boards the spacecraft and approaches Captain Calamari.
Stating, "Good evening, captain, I have come to inform you of your defeat in this
years Spaceman of the year award, You will never win!!/"I will SO!"/"You haven't the
love of humanity for it!!"/"Get OFF my spaceship!"
Martian Martin exits the spaceship.
Captain Calamari turns to his crew and screams prepare for battle, Dr. Nono what is
our coordinates?
Dr. Nono states yes captain, battle stations ready, lock and load!! Coordinates: sector five, niner and grid four point seven. Fire at will!!
Pow!! Bang!! Boom!!
The Spaceman of the Year award is mine!! I shall not be defeated!! HAAHAA!
Categories:
calamari, science fiction
Form: Narrative