Best Wanker Poems

I’m not always sure what to do
But, I’m good with words, so I wrote this for you
Your heart is a stone, its rough and dark
And...

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imagine a wanker joke

parliament gone up in smoke

bringing a rocket

to work in pocket

well guy fawkes you silly bloke....

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Absolute is her adorable attitude,
blessed and bestowed with a burning benignity,
city girl caught within life’s calamitousness,
darling to all that dare dote upon her. Naked!

Economize, be...

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The world is filled
With those who kill
With God's name on their lips
Oh how morally ill,
Be he Buddah, Christ, Mohammed,
Krishna, no matter what the name,
What you...

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My girl Ellie came from Philly
She loves chili from the deli
Such a Silly Sally
Saw her dilly-dally
For a million hours
Smelling gillyflowers
Under hilly towers.

My pop Billy Banker
Was...

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I stick the paper of what appears to be a gray canvas
and then I shove this filter between
on the edge of it
after that I put...

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My life is for love but I hate my life,
To give everyone what they need just gets me in strife.
I love to help and make...

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Star Sprayer

Twinkler
Sprinkler

Cleaning Freak

Hyper
Wiper

Flautist Pickpocket

Piper
Swiper

Complaining Hitman

Griper
Sniper

Test for Savant Autism

Rain Man
Brain Scan

Not Heard in France

Thank 'ee
Yankee

Capitalist Jerk

Wanker
Banker

Oct. 21, 2022
For A Brian Strand Premiere Choice Poetry Contest...

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If you are in the support bubble 
You can go out not being considered trouble 
Whining and dining 
No worries for fining 
But what happens...

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Inspection took place February 17th, 2023...

At 1330 hours (indicated
courtesy notification slipped under door
less than twenty four hours)
hence foretold ill fate
by property (crooks and quade) management
the...

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the numbers were in and it didn't look pretty
you people surrender your minds so easily
they dumb you down and you know it
they dumb you down...

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Contact 

Standing in a field, camera in my hand,
Scanning misty pines, haloed hill so grand.
Many miles I've traversed, now lost all sense of time,
Morning dew...

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Mrs. May, I’ve no reason to thank her,
that Corbyn bloke’s a total wanker,
Dreams I will now shatter,
The Lib Dems just don’t matter, 
And as for...

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He called up the contact
The contact gave his name and number
The number was a familiar one
Old Nick's address 666
The name needed verifying
Biatch Wanker 
Can you...

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‘Tiny’ Bawb Always Wins His Fights -

   (in “Phonetically-Edited" Rhyme - for my Brit and Ausie Mites) 
 


Just before the Ausie, ‘Tiny’...

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