Best Turbo Poems
Turbo
Diesel Engine
Generation Game
Pipe and Slippers
Readi
Go!
I want some chicken to chew on
I wanna eat it until its all gone
I want to slather it in turbo lax
And cover it in tic tacs
I love the chicken's neck
My parents always say "what the heck?"
But i don't care
Finding a grilled chicken neck is very rare
I'd kill somebody if they try to steel my chicken neck, but who would dare?
I eat it so fast i'm like the hear in tortoise and the hare
So when i see a chicken it better run
Because what i'm going to do to it isn't going to be very fun!
My old Gran, met an ice cream man
Who welcomed her into the clan
Of superhero ice cream men
Who fend off villains now and then
He gave her top crime fighting tips
And lots of special chocolate chips
They’ll pump your muscles, fix your hips
If two or three should pass your lips
We’ve also got a gadget man
Looking at your ice cream van
He’ll supercharge the things he can
And then we’ll call you Turbo Gran
*
One week later, first time out
Turbo went out on the scout
When two muggers robbed a man
Turbo Gran pulled up the van
She grabbed some chocolate chips to eat
These would make her hard to beat
She hurled some ice cream down the street
And underneath the mugger’s feet
Their every step did slip and slide
They reached a barn and hid inside
The barn was stacked up high with logs
But P.C. Hoggs had brought the dogs
‘Hey, Turbo Gran, you gotta laugh,
those muggers left an ice cream path.’
The dogs sniffed where ice cream was slicked
And pretty soon those thieves were licked
So now they call her Turbo Gran
It’s written on her ice cream van
With ‘Speedy’ written on each door
Just listen to it’s engine roar
So watch her go, my crazy gran
My grandma with a souped up van
To call her ‘Turbo’, please feel free
But she’s still ‘Ice Cream Gran’ to me
Go away! Go away! I'm never letting you in!
You're nothing but a walking, slimy, horny ball of sin
You let drugs use you up 'til you're bouncing off the walls
You're 21 years old! I'm 39 years old! You're killing me, Smalls!
Go fvck with people of your own minuscule age
You still have to play with baby witches - I'm a fvcking Mage
You're barely older than my own son
I'm way too far out of your league, hon
Didn't you get it the first 50x when I didn't answer for you?
You're creeping on me - being a proper stalker, dude
Seriously though, I haven't notified law enforcement yet
How about my entire existence you just magically forget?
I even paid you $25 to fvck off, once!
Go sit in that corner, child, wear that hat - DUNCE!!
I have no bloody use to ever see your pathetic face again
No, "AKA. Turbo," I don't want to be your friend
You're the kind of little boy who screws his friends' moms
Gross - "AKA. Turbo," everything about your existence is wrong
No wonder why you're homeless without a home
'Cause you won't respectfully leave people the fvck alone!
I walk down the streets of my kasi with a face of fear.
My mind, soul and body are full of scars
Beyond my imagination I see no reason to live.
Pains has become part of me, that I do not feel it anymore
What have I done wrong to my fellow gender!?
My cry doesn't cross your heart,
Nor hit your conscience.
Have you forgotten that I am a being too
I am a hunted human.
I am a women after all.